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Thread: My Wife Emotional Relation with another Men; What would help?

  1. #151
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    Originally Posted by LaHermes
    OP

    You say:

    "Its like a battle I can not win trying to impress my wife and trying to convince her that I am better than him."

    Why bother any more, really.

    That battle I am done with as I understood it to be Limerence; He had no responsibility to my wife and had nothing to lose by agreeing with what ever her imagination she put out;

    I did and allowed all that out of Trust and confidence in our marriage; that person in me no longer exist.

  2. #152
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    So you do not know if it was an out of wedlock child from an extra marital affair or legitimate sperm donation? Does his wife know about this love child? What is all the secrecy about? Secret sperm, secret conversation between you and his wife, secret tracking devices, secret kids, secret infertility, secret DNA? Your story keeps changing from affair to sperm donor to coworker to cousin, etc..
    Originally Posted by canadien
    His wife wants nothing to do with us anymore.

  3. #153
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Do you not know if they had actual sex or if they went to the clinic together and he provided sperm there?

  4. #154

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    Why have you not filed for divorce?

    You have allowed this affair. You do know that they are having sex, right?

    You are showing that you have no self respect. You have allowed this for so long now that you can't stop it. She doesn't want to stop.

    Divorce your cheating wife. you should have 6 months ago.

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  6. #155
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Do you not know if they had actual sex or if they went to the clinic together and he provided sperm there?
    She showed me the Sperm donation form on her phone with a date; Could it be forged? may be...
    She said he paid for the Sperm donation process so there is no proof of payment.

    The question I ask is why she could not come forth with this information earlier when I was suffering for last 1 year trying to figure out what was happening in front of my own eyes; She said that was her compassion toward me to keep my ego from getting hurt.

  7. #156
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    This is one of the saddest things i have ever read. If this is your culture i'd think about walking away from it. Take your life back.

  8. #157
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    Originally Posted by ninjabib
    This is one of the saddest things i have ever read. If this is your culture i'd think about walking away from it. Take your life back.
    Hello there Guys;
    So just to Update and clarify; it seems I was fighting an invisible enemy for all this time; Yet, I observed a lot of changes in my wife for the last year; the more she tried to keep the secret the more she got closer to him and detached to me. As of right now we have a No Contact policy in place with this third party and I am asking my wife to get involved with other cousins for activity; and I am already seeing the change as she is more present with me, and that's all I want her to be and that is to be with me Present in this moment.

    What would you guys recommend to reconnect and bring more attention to each other?

  9. #158
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Did you think the child was yours?

  10. #159
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Did you think the child was yours?
    Yes, when child was born I thought that was my child; Yet, when I could not keep my wife apart from Third party I started to put things together; I gave my wife so many chances to stop meeting him alone; She said we are free to make connection with any one and her connection to him has no affect on our relation and connection.

    For a long time I struggle to make her understand that each call and anticipation to meet him is a robbery of my time and connection to her; She still struggles with this concepts and says that her friendship with him has no relevance to our relationship; is this true? How to clarify that?

  11. #160
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    She already told you that she turned to her cousin's husband for support and comfort and someone to talk to because she couldn't talk to you. Even marriage therapy didn't help. Even putting tracking devices on her vehicle didn't help.

    You seem to know why your arranged marriage was so bad, but you claim you didn't want to divorce.

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