Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 14 of 17 FirstFirst ... 11121314151617 LastLast
Results 131 to 140 of 164

Thread: My Wife Emotional Relation with another Men; What would help?

  1. #131
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    67

    Hey there Wiseman2

    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Your kids deserve to be involved with their aunts, uncles, cousins.
    I have no Problem getting involved with cousin and friends that have platonic relation with my wife; Yet, is this my responsibility to get involved with this particular cousin who had an Emotional affair with my wife?

    As for my wife it seems she got used to venting at this particular cousin about our family and her work problems and the cousin was mirroring her expectation and beliefs; He had nothing to lose by agreeing with her; In return he said really negative stuff about his own wife and all of a sudden they both seemed to be in a bad marriages whose partner was not paying attention to them.

    From my perspective; It seems I was living in a house with my Mom and Brother; so, I took more balanced approach and tried to show both positive and negative aspect of my Moms conservative View points and this created her to get that much aggressive and distant from me and closer to her AP; she was stuck in a bad situation and he was guiding her out of misery according to her.

    I put this particular concern to my cousin last Year as I saw her pulling away from me; and his reply was to just let her go vent to him and he will guide her out of the Depression or negative thinking that she got herself into; Yet, what happened was the more he agreed and let her vent without stopping her, she started to idolize him and that made her fall in love with him; She said he is such a great listener and blamed me for being aggressive during our talks.

    Was I wrong in trusting family friend? How to make her understand the dynamics which led to her getting attached to him? How do I give her assurance that our life will be OK without going to him? Any guidance regarding this? How do I help her stop addiction for going to him for help?

  2. #132
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    14,369
    What does the marriage counselor say about your questions?

  3. #133
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    67

    Hey There

    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    What does the marriage counselor say about your questions?
    The Marriage councilor advice is to get the cousin out of our life completely; They are finding ways to connect to each other and continue their emotional attachment to each other by getting involved and doing all the vacation, and fun activities together.

    She said that if I get out of the picture than it will make harder to keep and maintain contact; So just do not enable social meeting and activities with this particular cousin.

  4. #134
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    14,369
    And how did your wife react to this advice?

  5.  

  6. #135
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,057
    Gender
    Male
    She already told you, you do not listen, it's an arranged and very unhappy marriage, she wants to confide in someone because she can't talk to you without an argument, accusations, jealous paranoia, controlling behavior, etc.

    Also you're the one flirting and talking at length with Her cousin (this guy's wife), and all you do is concoct schemes with his wife to put trackers on their phones etc. Why not stop your emotional affair with her cousin?


    The therapist did not tell you to keep your kids away from their aunts, uncles or cousins. That is your idea.
    Originally Posted by canadien
    They are finding ways to connect to each other and continue their emotional attachment to each other by getting involved and doing all the vacation, and fun activities together.

  7. #136
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    67
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    She already told you, you do not listen, it's an arranged and very unhappy marriage, she wants to confide in someone because she can't talk to you without an argument, accusations, jealous paranoia, controlling behavior, etc.

    Also you're the one flirting and talking at length with Her cousin (this guy's wife), and all you do is concoct schemes with his wife to put trackers on their phones etc. Why not stop your emotional affair with her cousin?


    The therapist did not tell you to keep your kids away from their aunts, uncles or cousins. That is your idea.

    Hey there Wiseman;
    So over the weekend I had a nice breakthrough from my wife side;

    She said that she is stunned and astonished that I accepted the Baby; She says that she is grateful for my understanding and no man would accept such a condition.

    She said she took steps out of depression and desperation as she though that I would never accept such a condition to use the cousin as a Sperm donor; She says that she misjudged me and all this happened because she was afraid how I would react to her actions.

    And, all the things she did was out of getting triggered as I kept going to forums and friends about her bad actions; she became triggered and in return went back to cousin thinking he could heal her from the stress that I was inflicting on her daily.

    She still says that I should talk to cousin as he was forced into action without bad intentions and we have bad impressions about each other due to circumstances that put us in Hostage situation against our emotions.

  8. #137
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    14,369
    Wait...what? He is going to be a sperm donor to your wife so she can have a baby? Are you not able to father children?

  9. #138
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Posts
    67

    Hello Guys

    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Wait...what? He is going to be a sperm donor to your wife so she can have a baby? Are you not able to father children?

    So, Ya I was having fertility issues with low sperm count two years ago; and my younger brothers wife got pregnant at the time; due to family related stress my wife got depressed and desperate for similar results.

    What ended up happening was she used my cousin as a Sperm donor, and at the time she was afraid of my reaction; she thought I would not accept such things due to conservative lifestyle and culture we come from; that in affect made her keep this information away from me.

    So, for the last two years my wife was getting closer to my cousin with very strong emotional connection due to this little secret; As you guys can see I moved mountains and could not figure out this scenario until the end when I decided to do the DNA test; she broke down at that point and told me what had happened.

    I think some users were warning me about invading into my wife privacy with GPS tracker and trying to stop communication with this particular cousin; Yet, I was caught in a firestorm where I was seeing my wife drifting away from me and I had to find a way to get her back.

    I still have a lot of work to do as that cousin became the source for all her emotional support; and now I am doing my best to connect to her by paying attention and doing my part.

    What can help my wife to let go of Cousins emotional connection she built? How do I make her believe to trust in me and bring confidence in our marriage.

  10. #139
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    40,057
    Gender
    Male
    So who's this affair with? Your sperm donating cousin now or what you initially claimed, her cousin's husband? Are there 2 affairs now?

    Your cousin AND who you initially accused her of having an affair with? Are affairs that common in unhappy barren arranged marriage?

    Was this sperm donation in vitro or in person?
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 06-30-2020 at 07:39 AM.

  11. #140
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Heaven
    Posts
    795
    Gender
    Male
    man feel bad there is zero respect in this relationship why have you kept her at such a high pedestal , cause of kids n family?


Videos


Maintaining A Strong Relationship

Detaching From a Malignant Man

Divorced Parents Prefer Technology and Social Media As Communication Tool

Wedding Jitters Could Be a Predictor for a Future Divorce

Botox Fights Depression And Makes You Feel Happier

Men Are More Sensitive than Women when Having Relationship Problems
Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •