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Thread: My Wife Emotional Relation with another Men; What would help?

  1. #111
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You are way too involved in their lives, it's a distraction. That is because your marriage is unhappy and arranged and you never loved each other.
    Originally Posted by canadien
    he has his own wife.

  2. #112
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You are way too involved in their lives, it's a distraction. That is because your marriage is unhappy and arranged and you never loved each other.
    We have our up and downs in marriage, which marriage does not;

    And i sensed what i lacked and wanted to work on it, but she met guys who were capable and had the traits she was looking for; so, now it became the chase to the top and how i can imitate the other guys and how i can be better then them.

    She says her standards have gone up since coming to canada and i should be able to deliver accordingly if i want to keep her attention.

  3. #113
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    Does she have Canadian citizenship/right to remain now through you?

  4. #114
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Perhaps she has become more "westernized" than your ultraconservative family are comfortable with, thus your mother "warns" you and your brother keeps his wife on a tight leash. . For example having both male and female friends, socializing with her family here etc. You seem insanely jealous of this cousin-in-law and his looks, money, accomplishments etc. However what really threatens you if divorce and extramarital sex are not an issue in your marriage?
    Originally Posted by canadien
    She says her standards have gone up since coming to canada and i should be able to deliver accordingly if i want to keep her attention.

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  6. #115
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Perhaps she has become more "westernized" than your ultraconservative family are comfortable with, thus your mother "warns" you and your brother keeps his wife on a tight leash. . For example having both male and female friends, socializing with her family here etc. You seem insanely jealous of this cousin-in-law and his looks, money, accomplishments etc. However what really threatens you if divorce and extramarital sex are not an issue in your marriage?
    She is doing what she has learned to do; i never stopped her previously becuase i was gullible and did not realize when she crossed over the boundary.

    She shares very little about her life becuase this third person can guide her better; so i have a wife in name only; all the hopes and inner thoughts are passing through him.

    She has someone to share her life with so she is already drained and satisfied when she comes home, she does not need me anymore.

    She only gets excited if he is part of the activity whatever that may be she has pushed away all her other relatives and friends.

    He wants her to drop everybody and make him priority; if she is constantly making time to meet him then i am losing part of her for what?

    She is not happy with me as she fantasizes spending next dsy with him.

    She will not even have s3x with me because that means she is betraying him.

    He has set boundaries and conditions she is living by; she is constantly texting him chatting with him; its almost as if there is another person infiltrating inyo my family.

    She will not make any important decision without taking his permission; he has to be part of any decision related to our baby.

    She says i have no social skills or friends; we pretty much do anything because of her cousin or friends; she has questioned my integrity as a men.

    She has an emotional block wall surrounding her and i cannot penetrate it, everything turns into big fight.


    And to top it off, no one knows about her affair other then me; what would happen if her or my parents were to find out her discreation?
    Last edited by canadien; 02-04-2020 at 05:26 PM.

  7. #116
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    This is absolutely ridiculous. Divorce her.

  8. #117
    Silver Member Spawn's Avatar
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    You deserve a good loyal partner. Leave her she is not worth it

  9. #118
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    please divorce her. this marriage is nothing but toxic all around

  10. #119
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    Hello guys So this is an Update an possible query for u guys;

    Since last time; I have implemented a NC Rule (No Contact) with the third party.

    I contacted his wife regarding this matter and she is saying that I finally came to my senses; they have been Love/Soulmate zone for the last two years according to her; she tried multiples times to warn me but I never said anything, so she backed off.

    She said that because I never objected and participated in all their meeting and phone calls she assumed that I was OK with what was happening.

    Now the hard part:
    What needs to happen next for reconciliation?

  11. #120
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You have been chitchatting with her all along and she is very jealous and likes to gossip. She is the one dragging you away talking your ear off about their "affair". Yet you still have no evidence and you still think spying on her and tracking her (like this jealous wife does) is a good idea.

    Your wife hangs out with this cousin-in-law and this cousin of hers doesn't like it. You wife states she can't talk to you and therefore confides in this cousin-in-law. You also keep ignoring the marriage therapist advice.

    What is the "soulmate zone"? You and your wife's cousin still have no evidence that your wife and your wife's cousin-in-law are having an affair.

    You have not separated or divorced. Just gone round and round in circles with this woman. If you want to "reconcile", stop the chitchatting with your wife's cousin, listen to the marriage therapist and get help for your anxiety. .
    Originally Posted by canadien
    I contacted his wife regarding this matter. they have been Love/Soulmate zone for the last two years according to her

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