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How can I tell if a second date is coming?


sherms

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I went on a date with this guy that I've known for a while and I am not sure if the date went well. After the date I texted him thank you for the movie. It was fun. He responded with "Yeah I enjoyed it. Thanks for coming" When he asked me out he sent this long paragraph asking me out and he said he would "really like to be with [me]" but since the date, I haven't heard back from him ( I agree I am getting a bit too anxious since it has only been 2 days but idk) So what do you all think?

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Well, the simplest way would be to text him something by the lines of "I have a free evening and don't know what to occupy it with, have any plans for that day?", but I have a feeling you don't want to do it for some reason.

 

I second this! Why wait for the guy to ask? You can ask for another date. The worst he says he is busy or no, but at least you’ll know for certain.

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It's only been 2 days. Give him space and time. Don't be perceived as needy, clingy nor desperate otherwise your aura and mystery is no more. Go on with your life, enjoy it and don't preoccupy yourself by obsessing about him otherwise you'll be a turnoff and he'll think you're a pest.

 

If he's not interested in you, his radio silence is your answer. If you're just hearing "crickets," again, there's your answer.

 

If you're curious and wish to attempt to pursue this relationship further, give him at least a week. Ping him and suggest getting together again perhaps for a meal or coffee. He'll either accept, make excuses and decline or he'll do a fade out.

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Okay,

 

1) did he "soft" ask you out on the date. "do you like bowling?" "maybe sometime we should do...x activity". "do you like to go dancing"

2) a lot of guys won't contact you until they figure out what to ask you out to next. The good news, is that they don't become text buddies. The bad news is you might speculate too much

3) I think its creepy when a guy says "i'd really like to be with you". It means they want sex with you or be in a relationship with you. The latter is sweet that he would want you, but should not be said to ask someone out and its a weird thing to say -- like a moving too fast/false promises

 

i would normally suggest do nothing - you told him you had fun, so he should ask you out again before you return the favor - let him pursue you at least that much.

 

But if you have been legitimate one on one friends and there has been genuine care - not just a guy in your circles, i would ask him out. I would wait a few days and come up with legitimate plans - not just a hang out and ask him out so it stays in date territory

 

If the date wasn't what he wanted -- i have been there. I got asked out by a guy after i moved on to another workplace. We went out. He never asked me out again. I had heard he went out with someone else a few weeks later (my friend still worked there) and asked my friend what i was up to and she said "WHY DONT YOU ASK HER YOURSELF!" I liked this guy -- as a person. I don't think there was sexual chemistry -- i think if he would have asked me out again we would have gone into a friendship vs dating. There were a few things that would not make him a good match for me, that i would accept as a friend but not as a romantic partner.

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Nobody has a crystal ball to know the answer to your question. You did the right thing by texting him a thank you. If it were me, I wouldn't pursue him. It's never worked for me, although perhaps it's worked for other women. If you ask, he might accept just to be polite or if he is too cowardly to reject the offer even if he's not really that interested. If he asks you out again, you can then have a good gauge of his interest. I'd just get on with your life and whatever will be will be. Only time will tell.

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When he wrote that he really wanted to be with you he'd not even met you. It's easy to build up an impression in your mind about what someone will be like and how you'll feel about them, but when it comes to actually meeting them things can be very different. His message to you after the date just sounds like a polite reply and not one that indicates he wants anything further, but there's no harm in doing others have suggested and asking him if he's free to do something again.

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