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Thread: Do you find comfort in visiting the cemetery?

  1. #1
    Member MrsWise's Avatar
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    Do you find comfort in visiting the cemetery?

    My mom was buried in different country and i have yet visited her resting place. I'm planning to in the near future. does anyone get sense of connection visiting your loved ones final resting place?

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    I'm so sorry for your loss...

    How long has your mom been deceased? If it's not too long, then I can understand your wanting to visit. Do you have any photos of her resting place? Perhaps that would help you. Ultimately, I feel it depends on how the person feels about visiting the cemetery (religion, guilt, etc). Some people may find comfort in visiting; others not so much, and still others, not at all. Both of my parents are deceased (my father 39 years ago; my mother 18 years ago). When I lived closer to the cemetery, I did go. I think it was because I felt that that was the right thing to do, and it did help me with the grieving process.

    Now, I live about 5 hours' drive from there now, so I don't go at all. In my case, the desire to visit after so many years has lessened. I hope I don't sound harsh but now I have no desire at all unless I am in that area (which is almost never). And, even then, I won't necessarily make it a point to go. Granted, it takes about one hour, but still. Don't get me wrong, I miss them terribly and I think about them very often.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Not personally, no. I'm also averse to symbolism, likely to an extreme. Call it an over correction after my Army days. But many do, and that's just fine. You'll know how you'll feel once you're there. Sorry for your loss. I hope the experience brings what you hope it will.

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I do, yes . I visit my grandparents and my baby. ❤️

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    So sorry for your loss. I guess I tend to celebrate the spirit of my loved ones who have passed. However you do it, that's fine. Ashes on the mantle, cemetery... it's the thought that counts!!!

  7. #6
    Member MrsWise's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by goddess
    I'm so sorry for your loss...

    How long has your mom been deceased? If it's not too long, then I can understand your wanting to visit. Do you have any photos of her resting place? Perhaps that would help you. Ultimately, I feel it depends on how the person feels about visiting the cemetery (religion, guilt, etc). Some people may find comfort in visiting; others not so much, and still others, not at all. Both of my parents are deceased (my father 39 years ago; my mother 18 years ago). When I lived closer to the cemetery, I did go. I think it was because I felt that that was the right thing to do, and it did help me with the grieving process.

    Now, I live about 5 hours' drive from there now, so I don't go at all. In my case, the desire to visit after so many years has lessened. I hope I don't sound harsh but now I have no desire at all unless I am in that area (which is almost never). And, even then, I won't necessarily make it a point to go. Granted, it takes about one hour, but still. Don't get me wrong, I miss them terribly and I think about them very often.
    my mom passed away years ago but i was very young when she died. The grieving process was delayed and i didn't start grieving for her until
    3 years ago, in my late 20's. Part of me is guilt since i never got to say good bye. We were staying in different country when she passed and i din't know she was sick because i was busy with my own live and didn't have contact with her in her final days. So i feel like i need to make amends

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    Originally Posted by MrsWise
    my mom passed away years ago but i was very young when she died. The grieving process was delayed and i didn't start grieving for her until
    3 years ago, in my late 20's. Part of me is guilt since i never got to say good bye. We were staying in different country when she passed and i din't know she was sick because i was busy with my own live and didn't have contact with her in her final days. So i feel like i need to make amends
    Oh, I feel so bad for you. That's a difficult situation, you poor dear. If you can visit her resting place at some point, like you mentioned, I think it would bring you the closure and comfort that you need. xx

  9. #8
    Member simple cure's Avatar
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    I haven't lost anyone I'm close to, fortunately, but I still very much appreciate the cemetery. It's quiet, beautiful and peaceful. I feel that in being there I am taking part in honoring the departed, I read their gravestone and wonder about their lives and experiences.
    As my kids got to be older I would have outings with them to the cemetery we lived near. It was a fairly old one as an early settlement, I used that opportunity to explain history and events in our country, my kids seemed to find it interesting. I guess I like graveyards.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I'm very sorry for your loss, MrsWise.

    No, I don't find comfort visiting a cemetery. To the contrary, I feel death all around me as I walk around headstones and tombstones. Walking at cemeteries scare and truly depress me.

    I feel a real connection to the deceased in my mind and heart. Heartwarming and not so good memories are what keep me connected. I don't think it's the location of where the deceased that matters. What matters is what they left behind such as whatever they imparted to you while they were living.

    Also, in my prayers. I pray they are well taken care of by Him. This is my belief. They went home to Him.

    I feel this way towards my father, grandparents, relatives, friends and other lost loved ones. For me, it's not the geography and where they're buried. Their life and memories are within me daily.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I do find comfort visiting my mother's resting place.

    She passed away many, many years ago and she's interred several hundred miles away fom where I live, but when I do go I speak to her out loud and think about her.

    Yes, you can do that anywhere. But it's something I want to do, so I do.

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