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Job Opportunity and Personal Life Conflict Question


TheD87

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Sorry, didnt know which subtopic to put this under because it could go under so many.

 

A lot of my close friends I also work with. I had a real mess on my hand about 5 years ago when a new girl, I'll call her B in this scenario to not use real names, started working with us. Her and I hit it off and my friends were all trying to set us up. I had one of my coworkers/friends talk me out of dating her, I'll call him H for this scenario. Turns out H started dating her and it caused some issues with me and him. B and H ended up getting married. H and I have settled our differences and are pretty good friends again now.

 

Fast forward 5 years and I started having real problems with B. Think she was using people to get ahead at her job and was manipulative and just not a nice person. Turns out B and H are now getting divorced because B cheated on H with another married coworker who isnt in our friends group.

 

Now to how the work plays into this, I've had some issues with my employer lately and feel undervalued. My line of work to keep doing what I'm doing there arent many options without moving. However there is one place that is hiring that would give me at least a $20 k raise and give me more potential to climb and better benefits. I applied there and was asked recently to come in for an interview. My resume stacks up well enough for me to believe I will be offered a job there.

 

The problem is, in the midst of the disaster that B left behind, she left to go work at the same place I'm interviewing with (she announced she was going there after I applied). I really cannot stand her and think she really screwed over my friend after messing with me and leading me on when she first came here (looking back I'm positive she did this to help her career).

 

And now I am questioning if the career opportunity is worth going to have to work with her again.

 

Any advice or suggestions?

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I highly doubt she would supervise me. I have more experience than her and actually supervised her for one case she did at her old job. I would guess we would be on pretty equal levels with me probably slightly ahead of her without being her supervisor.

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Then what's the issue? Is the company so small that you'd be forced to work one on one with her every day?

 

If not and you'd only be running into her occasionally I don't see the issue.

 

I work every day with a woman who tried to get me fired. I just do my job and don't worry about her.

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Will you be working in the same department? What is the likelihood of you seeing her and having to interact in a professional capacity every day? Will you be able to treat her professionally at all times? Will you be able to cope with all of that?

 

That should give you the answer you are looking for.

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We would definitely be working in a situation where I'd have to see her but I'm really unsure if I'd have to work with her. Just unsure if I want to go from a situation where I enjoy who I work with to one going in the only person I know there is someone I really despise.

 

But I think I could probably put my head down and do my work.

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We would definitely be working in a situation where I'd have to see her but I'm really unsure if I'd have to work with her. Just unsure if I want to go from a situation where I enjoy who I work with to one going in the only person I know there is someone I really despise.

 

But I think I could probably put my head down and do my work.

 

I would not let her presence stop you from taking this job.

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Be professional, and accept professional career advancements. No need to bring emotions about a relationship that isn't yours into work. It's not like you're helping her move into her new pad, and getting takeout together.

 

Boost yourself - don't reject success because your buddy married a cheater. Just be glad you dodged a bullet.

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If not her, then there will be someone else you don't like on the job. I was a consultant for over 20 years, and I've worked in every corporate culture you can imagine. There is a series of 'archetypes' in every single on of them--the slacker, the user, the angel, the devil, and about a dozen more. However you want to label them, you won't 'free' yourself from any given character by changing workplaces. The names change, but there will always be someone with the personality characteristics you despised in someone else at the last place.

 

So learn how to manage dealing with colleagues you don't enjoy working with, and keep on moving forward. You'll thank yourself later.

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