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Due date of your second child and best friends wedding fall 3 days apart


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Events are on different continents. Which do you attend?

You’re the best man, the groom is your best friend from childhood. The entire friend group is pumped for the trip and traveling the country afterward.

There’s some family to rely on, so your SO wouldn’t be completely alone giving birth while caring for a toddler. Still it’s gut wrenching and would be heartbreaking to miss the birth (or possibly have to board the plane as baby is minutes old).

What decision do you make?

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Since it’s the second child, I assume this person knows what a special moment the birth of a child is - not to mention that most birthing moms would especially want a partner’s support during birth and the early postpartum period. I know everyone is different, but I honestly can’t imagine my husband asking to miss birth and the first few days of our child’s life for a wedding.

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Unless the father's loyalties are messed up, the birth of the child that they helped create.

Child birth is a testing experience for the human body and sometimes it can result to complications, even death touch wood. It should be not be viewed in a cavalier manner and the father needs to be available even if it's just for moral support.

 

P.S. Imo, if it was really by your choice, you wouldn't be posting about this. If it's bothering you, then there's something wrong with the said choice...

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As with previous birth, I will be in the delivery room by myself (by my choice).

 

If you don’t want the child’s father there anyway, I am guessing that’s why he’s floating the idea of being away altogether. He evidently doesn’t view his presence as entirely wanted or needed?

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If you don’t want the child’s father there anyway, I am guessing that’s why he’s floating the idea of being away altogether. He evidently doesn’t view his presence as entirely wanted or needed?

 

I don’t think there’s any animosity regarding that. It worked out well last time. Being a 5 minute drive away is different than being a 9 hr flight away.

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I don’t think there’s any animosity regarding that. It worked out well last time. Being a 5 minute drive away is different than being a 9 hr flight away.
Fully conceding a woman should have the right to deny a man the experience of witnessing his child enter the world for any reason, why don't you allow him in the delivery room?

 

Obviously he should forego the trip even if being denied the experience. If for no other reason than anything can happen before, during, and after childbirth. Though I will admit I can vaguely understand him flirting with the idea. I doubt there's any way to quantify the gap in significance when it comes to actually being in the room, but even if it's certainly a terrible one, I can see how one could make a value-based assessment if he's seeing the kid after the fact either way.

 

In any case, hopefully he makes the clearly correct decision. And definitely advocate for your desire for him to stay here if it would quite understandably mean a lot to you. This isn't an issue I'd stay quiet and wait for someone to make their own "wrong" decision on.

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Me either. Is the OP a woman or man? Can a woman be the best man? Whose baby is it?
It's a really goofy way to frame it, but OP's essentially representing her husband's dilemma. Right now he's debating going to a destination wedding three days apart from his wife's (the OP) due date.
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Events are on different continents. Which do you attend?

You’re the best man, the groom is your best friend from childhood. The entire friend group is pumped for the trip and traveling the country afterward.

There’s some family to rely on, so your SO wouldn’t be completely alone giving birth while caring for a toddler. Still it’s gut wrenching and would be heartbreaking to miss the birth (or possibly have to board the plane as baby is minutes old).

What decision do you make?

 

You will attend the birth of your child. No question. The child could be early or late, too. I can't believe you are giving the friend group that is "pumped for this" precedence. Now, if the baby was due three weeks before the wedding, the child was born a week ahead of schedule and it was a wedding you could pop in and out of and bought a last minute ticket knowing the baby was well - fly in the morning of, leave for home the next day - sure,but nope nope nope. you really would pass up your child being placed in your arms moments after their first breath for a friend's wedding??

 

You can visit your friend or he can visit you at a later date.

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Looks like I’m only getting responses from women (who will never have this issue ha :))

The question is in fact about my current situation. I’ve remained mum on the dilemma. As with previous birth, I will be in the delivery room by myself (by my choice).

 

Wait a minute if you are the mother ---- why would you not allow your husband there? Is he a jerk?? Why not let him be there for his baby being born and to support you? keep in mind he may be contemplating the wedding because you are treating him like he has no right to be there for his child's birth.

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Wait a minute if you are the mother ---- why would you not allow your husband there? Is he a jerk?? Why not let him be there for his baby being born and to support you? keep in mind he may be contemplating the wedding because you are treating him like he has no right to be there for his child's birth.

 

We can't help you until we know:

 

Is he just the Father, or is he your husband/SO?

Are you in a relationship with another man or woman?

 

We are cornfused!

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We can't help you until we know:

 

Is he just the Father, or is he your husband/SO?

Are you in a relationship with another man or woman?

 

We are cornfused!

 

I have a feeling she is trying to "test" him.

He gets a raw deal either way, when you think about it.

And which raw deal does he pick? The one where he won't get to see the birth of his child or hold his child moments after birth, or the one here he won't get to do the same.

If he is a one night stand, i get it. But if he is her husband, wow what a raw deal

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I have a feeling she is trying to "test" him.

He gets a raw deal either way, when you think about it.

And which raw deal does he pick? The one where he won't get to see the birth of his child or hold his child moments after birth, or the one here he won't get to do the same.

If he is a one night stand, i get it. But if he is her husband, wow what a raw deal

 

Strange situation, indeed!

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