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Thread: Rollercoaster Ride and Venting

  1. #1
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    Rollercoaster Ride and Venting

    I finally left my husband after 5 years of marriage. I got tired of feeling like an obligation and the constant threats that he was going to cheat on me. His mother was constantly in our business. I left the week or so before Christmas. He and his mom sent me many harassing messages the day I left. The day of his work Christmas party he apologized and attempted to ask if we could talk. I didn't respond to his message, I believed he was only apologizing so he didn't have to go alone. I partly regret not having the conversation with him yet if there had been a chance for us to reconcile things any "treaty" we made would not last, yet I have had a lot of second thoughts and other frustrations. Worse yet, I kind of believe what he and his mom said about me. Maybe I shouldn't have left the way I did and even though I didn't feel anything toward him when I went to go get my things (which he and his mother boxed for me) I still feel loss. Idk! I'm not sure I have the capacity to ever love again. I also wish I had never let.my guard down and let my soon to be ex-husband in at all. Maybe I'm hurt because I had promised myself a romanticized and apparently unrealistic notion of..."when I fall in love...it'll be forever...blah, blah, blah! Maybe I have nothing left to offer. I'm kind of plain looking yet why would I want a man who thought I was beautiful only on the outside?! Idk, I'm not sure of myself as of right now. I guess I needed to vent and....IDK!? Perhaps I was feeling lonely because of New Year's Eve, even though my husband and I never did anything special. I cannot help but wonder if marriage counseling would have helped but someone suggested it to him and from my understanding he that it was a general answer and wasn't exactly willing to go. I feel like I'm the one who caused the pain and stress I have gone through since I left. I keep asking myself could I have done something to have fixed the problem?! If I kept a better house and cooked our marriage would have survived, according to him, anyways. Idk, I just needed advice and maybe a hug...or someone to say things will get better. I feel like I dugged a hole and I cannot get out of it. SIGH!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    He threatened you that he was going to cheat on you? Why? How often did this happen?

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    I cannot even remember.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Where did you move to? You need an attorney and employment.

    My advice remains the same: [Register to see the link]
    Originally Posted by inthewind
    I didn't feel anything toward him when I went to go get my things which he and his mother boxed for me. my husband and I

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    I kept my current job and moved in with a family member.

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    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Were you living with his mother? Why was she so involved in your lives?

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    Because he allowed her to be in our lives. His brother had to live with us and their mother decided to come over constantly and never told me. She was so hypersensitive and almost always took things the wrong way. When I initially left she was texting me more than my husband. Telling me I was playing the victim role and I would never find someone to put up with my cleaning inconsistencies like her son did. She accused me of acting like a 16 year old when I left.

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    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Your marriage has been compromised by interference from family members. Why did his brother have to live with you? That's not healthy.

    What are your 'cleaning inconsistencies'? And why should they matter to her?

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    Cleaning inconsistencies - you inconsistently wash out MIL's mouth with soap??? Part of this is on you -part -time to enforce boundaries. So sorry this is happening.

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    The cleaning inconsistencies also bothered my husband. To him I was cleaning enough.

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