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Thread: Older woman wanting peer

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Clio
    My personal observation has been that they tend not to be your peers mentally anyway.
    I agree.

    No doubt I have seen guys on line looking to meet 18 to 35, while their 68. Which is hilarious to me.... for so many reasons, but I don't think it's all men.

    when it comes to dating, you probably won't click with most guys. That's what makes clicking with someone so special.

    Don't let generalizations and stereotypes get ya down. As Anthony Hopkins character in eet Joe Black said "Stay open! Lightening could strike!"

    And let's face it, what used to be the debonair men of a certain age of yesteryear, is not the same. You wanna talk middle age spread? These guys may want younger, but can they get them?

  2. #12
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    Hi again all, I have only dipped my feet in this time so yes itís true that I need to get the feelers out more . However I should add that my last time in the dating arena was about five years ago when I was late 40s and even then noticed a lot of this as personal experience. I experienced dates where men told men about how his Ďluckyí mate Ďscoredí a young chick , guys who spent the whole date ogling the young waitress ( very disheartening when Iíd spent time getting ready and really liked him)and even another guy who told me he had a Dream last night about sleeping with his 19 yr old daughters best friend. Itís not like I didnít try to get to know these guys a bit first either bu talking but itís not easy to gauge these attitudes as perhaps they are happy to use older women for sexual but donít desire them for relationship
    These were, of course, the men who my age who me wrote or who I could actually contact . There were many I saw who looked interesting but who had restricted their profiles to younger women only.
    And sure like lambert points out they may want younger but would they get it ..... but who wants to be with a guy whoís dreaming constantly of that and just using you

  3. #13
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    Why not look on dating sites for men who have adult children or teenage kids. A man who has never had a child may want them, but if he has adult kids and a toddler grandchild, he is less likely to want to have more babies.

  4. #14
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    im Not finding this is connected necessarily to men wanting to have babies . The men I came across when I last dated who made those comments and who blocked older women mostly had stated they already had children or didnít want children

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    I can tell you, as a 59 year old man, that my taste in women has changed. I find woman my age far more attractive than younger women. I also enjoy the conversations with someone my own age (seriously, do I want to hear a 30 year old person's babble?).

    And, although I am spoken for, I can still find other women attractive, it's natural. Now, fantasizing about it or acting on it... that's not right!

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Pinkcircle
    Hi again all, I have only dipped my feet in this time so yes itís true that I need to get the feelers out more . However I should add that my last time in the dating arena was about five years ago when I was late 40s and even then noticed a lot of this as personal experience. I experienced dates where men told men about how his Ďluckyí mate Ďscoredí a young chick , guys who spent the whole date ogling the young waitress ( very disheartening when Iíd spent time getting ready and really liked him)and even another guy who told me he had a Dream last night about sleeping with his 19 yr old daughters best friend. Itís not like I didnít try to get to know these guys a bit first either bu talking but itís not easy to gauge these attitudes as perhaps they are happy to use older women for sexual but donít desire them for relationship
    These were, of course, the men who my age who me wrote or who I could actually contact . There were many I saw who looked interesting but who had restricted their profiles to younger women only.
    And sure like lambert points out they may want younger but would they get it ..... but who wants to be with a guy whoís dreaming constantly of that and just using you
    ugh those creepy guys that say such inappropriate things like wanting to have sex with their daughter's friend. so gross. some guys really have no clue and then they hate women. in all honesty, who would want to have any thing to do with a guy like that.

    I'm here to tell you, that is not normal. And not all guys are like that at all!

    Don't blame yourself or your age for giving a guy a chance and then him being stupid on the date.

    At the same time, see a red flag for what it is and act accordingly i.e. get away!

    But also don't excuse the behavior as in boys will be boys....

    I'm not saying there aren't creeps out there. Or guys that are looking for younger women. There are also young men that will message you because they think older women are easier to have sex with. There are also people that just want to have sex or just find a pen pal or scam the opposite sex out of money. There are married people...I mean everything and the kitchen sink is on line...

    You gotta take things for what they are worth. Read the signs etc. But negativity leads to more negativity. Don't go through dating with a chip on your shoulder. that is not attractive.

    Fun, light, positive that is what you should focus on. No one wants to be with a downer. You will never be any younger than you are right now. Just keep trying to network IRL and let OLD be on the back burner but still an option.

    Is there a guy you think you might be interested in but you are out of his range? We could definitely help you craft a message to him....

    Because if it's just the concept of men wanting younger women and how to change that, you cant. it's just like women want rich guys. But again, they may not get them....

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    I would argue that any guy in his 50s who only wants to date women aged 35ish is a bit delusional. It's a shame that dating sites don't allow you to block off any men who are doing that.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Stdavid
    I would argue that any guy in his 50s who only wants to date women aged 35ish is a bit delusional. It's a shame that dating sites don't allow you to block off any men who are doing that.
    Right! lol!

  10. #19
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    Yes absolutely agree that itís important to keep a positive mindset . I donít mean for it to come across as if I believe I would absolutely come across men only who think this way . Iím certain that wouldnít be the case . I guess after my last experience Iím just hoping to hear some alternatives to going in blind again and coming across so much of that stuff
    The idea about being able to screen for men who had those types of limiting ideas was great btw . I remember one of the real disheartening things was reading through a mans profile a few times , getting all ready to write and then hitting that button only to see Ď this users only allows users from 18-35 to send messages Ď or the such. If there was some way sites could allow women to screen out men who had effectively blocked a woman it would be awesome
    Any howís ...I suppose I was hoping people might have some way of screening for men who held these age biases . Obviously many will naturally screen themselves out which is altogether a good thing , but I note that there were men who wanted to have the dates and seemed keen to pressure for sex ( didnít happen) but behaved in ways I described so wernt really serious about a relationship . Perhaps there are some ways of recognising such men that Iím simply not doing ? I really feel in a good place , I want to keep in a good place but last time I ended up not feeling not so great . Does that even make sense

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Stdavid
    I would argue that any guy in his 50s who only wants to date women aged 35ish is a bit delusional. It's a shame that dating sites don't allow you to block off any men who are doing that.
    AGREE!!

    I will say my aunt was a widow at 60 and she started going to singles gatherings a few years later and the men were all 80+ and the oldest woman was 66. I do think anytime you can meet men through shared activities -- the rotary club, getting involved with volunteering, taking a class, etc, it is more likely you will meet someone where there is no pressure and you may meet a really decent guy who may be 50-60 to date because you just hit it off.

    But i would also say, if a 55 year old woman keeps herself up -- flattering hairstyle, dresses for her figure, is in healthy

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