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Thread: Girl has depression and dumped me?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree. You've only been dating a few months and she needs to sort herself out. You don't have to be friendzoned until then. She has friends, family, doctors and therapists who can help her sort through things.
    Originally Posted by Rawksteddy
    I donít really understand how I fit into this picture as being a friend when that isnít what I want at all.

  2. #12
    You donít have to be her friend if you donít want to be. I completely understand the feeling of just wanting to be in someoneís life romantic wise. And youíre also correct, a lot of times with depression, you start self sabotaging and think thoughts such as ďThis person can do so much better than me. I donít want them to see me like this. I can barely leave my bed, theyíre better off without me and finding someone whoís more capable mentally, I canít provide them with what they want,Ē and this leads to even more confusing and overthinking thoughts. You start guilt tripping yourself and making yourself think youíre making everyoneís lives worse. With depression, it really wont make sense because the thoughts are illogical and clouded with an emotional disorder. Itís completely okay to communicate and tell her youíre not interested in being friends. Maybe you guys can try again when sheís in a better state of mind. I just donít think you should completely abandon her. Therapists and meds help, but she isnít a robot. It would still be nice to maybe check up and see how sheís doing every couple of weeks/months if that isnít too much to ask. If she doesnít reply, itís okay. I think she would appreciate the thought and you giving her space to grow regardless :) best of luck to you.

  3. #13
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    So I spoke with her today. And asked about why she had blocked me on snapchat. She said that she had deleted her account. This is an absolute 100% lie. I can tell the difference on there between unfriending, blocking, and deleting and account. She is hiding things and trying to cover them up. Itís always the worst when you trust someone. If she wanted to see other people she couldíve just said so instead of stringing me along until things were secured with him. Those are always the ones that hurt the most.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Rawksteddy
    So I spoke with her today. And asked about why she had blocked me on snapchat. She said that she had deleted her account. This is an absolute 100% lie. I can tell the difference on there between unfriending, blocking, and deleting and account. She is hiding things and trying to cover them up. Itís always the worst when you trust someone. If she wanted to see other people she couldíve just said so instead of stringing me along until things were secured with him. Those are always the ones that hurt the most.
    Do you want to continue to be in this situation? There seems to be lots of drama and asking if this is something you want to deal with? You caught her in a lie and you have two options. Stay in the pool with her and call her out, confront her, see what happens next, or you can get out of the pool, tell her to have a good life and move on.
    The choice is yours. If you do decide to stay in this out of curiosity then whatever feelings you feel good or bad is going to be you asked for it. Or you can let her go and find someone else. Your move

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Rawksteddy
    So I spoke with her today.
    YTF did you do that Rocksteady?

    You just undid your good work, and now you have to start again.

  7. #16
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    Just walk away OP. You know the truth now. No need to linger around or speak to her. Go Jo contact and move on.

  8. #17
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    Actually it made me feel a lot better because I hadnít really caught her lying before and I honestly wouldnít have a problem with things if she was honest and just having depression. So it was causing me to over analyze things too much because I didnít know if I just was having trust issues and should be a bit more patient or if she was being shady. But now I feel quite comfortable in my decision and donít really need to think about it anymore :o).

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, then just leave each other alone. You think she's lying/cheating and she tells you she's too depressed to date. What is the point? It seems to have run it's course for whatever reason and you have nothing to offer each other. Your time would be better spent moving on than indulging this. Dating from a standpoint of distrust is pointless.
    Originally Posted by Rawksteddy
    Actually it made me feel a lot better because I hadnít really caught her lying before and I honestly wouldnít have a problem with things if she was honest and just having depression.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Ok, then just leave each other alone. You think she's lying/cheating and she tells you she's too depressed to date. What is the point? It seems to have run it's course for whatever reason and you have nothing to offer each other. Your time would be better spent moving on than indulging this. Dating from a standpoint of distrust is pointless.
    Well yeah I donít know with any certainty if she was cheating. But thereís definitely some shadiness from her end. And honesty for me is a huge thing. IMO things didnít end in a real dramatic or negative way. If she came to me and said that she wanted to work things out, Iíd consider taking her up on it. But it would require effort from both our parts and based on what Iíve seen, I think itís unlikely that sheíd be willing to put the work in for us to be mutually satisfied. So right now Iím moving on, setting up dates with other women, and if she decides to come back and is committed to making things work, Iíll cross that bridge when it happens.

  11. #20
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    Okay, Be honest. If she came around and said she wanted to be back with you. She wouldn't have to put in any effort. You would take her back instantly because that would make you happy.
    This is why you feel the way you do.
    You have a golden opportunity to start fresh with someone else. You have decided to have drama in your life. This is not that complicated to figure out. Good luck and remember...this is what you wanted.

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