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Thread: What does it mean when a guy ignores you online?

  1. #1

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    What does it mean when a guy ignores you online?

    Hi,

    To give a bit of context I have been talking to this guy through an online dating app for a few days. We have been talking consistently every day. He even suggested we catch up for drinks some time. I said I would like to and he said yes itís a date. We carried on talking and I brought up the suggestion of when to meet up and he said he was free this weekend. Ever since I replied to him he has not been online and replied to me.
    I know I am probably overreacting but I am just confused that he has been making an effort to talk to me and then when he confirmed he was free to catch up he has disappeared. What does this mean?
    Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Never waste time with extended online chitchat. If someone is not willing to meet within a few days, a week or so. Stop and move on. If someone won't meet it means they are hiding something, catfishing, scamming, etc. People are meeting a lot of people and if there is too much of a delay, it could also mean low interest. Exchange a few messages then meet. If that is not happening move on.
    Originally Posted by Kay90
    I brought up the suggestion of when to meet up and he said he was free this weekend. Ever since I replied to him he has not been online and replied to me.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Could be anything. Maybe he got cold feet. Maybe he was talking to multiple people and at the end he chose to focus on someone else. Maybe he was married and his wife got wind of what he was doing. Maybe he had an accident. Maybe, maybe, maybe. The truth is that you are total strangers and people are liable to suddenly drop out of the face of the earth for any number of reasons while talking online. He may or may not resurface. If he doesn't follow through with what he said, then I would take that as a sign of flakiness and move on.
    Last edited by Clio; 12-28-2019 at 08:05 AM.

  4. #4
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    He probably changed his mind about meeting in person and he didn't confirm a date or time so it was basically just irrelevant talk with no actions -making a plan -to back it up. I used to email once or twice, then talk by phone once for to screen out for safety/compatibility reasons -meaning if I knew I couldn't tolerate having coffee with the guy for an hour - and then we made a plan to meet or I moved on with rare exception (like if he was going to be out of town, or sick and couldn't make a plan right then). It wasn't a date. I suggested first meets if the guy didn't. i let him ask me out on a real first date.

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  6. #5

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    Yeah I was thinking of the first few reasons you mentioned. I agree we are strangers and he technically does not owe me anything. I just find it bizarre that he is on a dating site and has mentioned meeting up just to back out. Itís just a waste of everyoneís time. Thanks for your input.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    It could be a variety of things. Just know that this is more than typical with online dating. Try to not personalize it.
    He could be:
    Married, just looking for electronic entertainment, he could be in a bad emotional place, he could have met someone just before communicating with you and it took on more momentum.

    Going forward limit electronic exchanges and try meet sooner than later.
    You'll suss out time wasters and free yourself up to meet available men.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Kay90
    Yeah I was thinking of the first few reasons you mentioned. I agree we are strangers and he technically does not owe me anything. I just find it bizarre that he is on a dating site and has mentioned meeting up just to back out. Itís just a waste of everyoneís time. Thanks for your input.
    Go back and reread Clio's post, this is the most likely thing to have happened.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Yes, OLD is frustrating. I went through many ridiculous and upsetting scenarios when I did OLD for a few years. I entertained a lot of people with the crazy stories, that's for sure. You might want to supplement your dating opportunities with Meetup.com, which is a lot less stressful way of meeting single men.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Try not to let it get to you. You'll drown asking yourself these questions about strangers. You should have a good idea and read between the lines regarding someone's profile and the quality of the texts and phone calls also. Don't be afraid to be critical and seek what you're looking for. If you're not sure, it's part and parcel of getting to know yourself again.

    Are you fresh from a break up? I'd keep in mind that you may automatically draw the wrong people to you if you are fresh out of a relationship. The ones who have already done the homework and time alone with themselves might be very wary of dating you seriously or in any capacity.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree. That is type of thing os precisely why online dating burns people out. There have been many threads here about people using online dating to have something to do.

    One used the words "I was bored". Another "wanted to determine chemistry first" and chitchatted but never wanted to meet. So sadly there are people like that out there who just want to chitchat and never meet. Then there are endless stories about people "dating' for years but who have never met in person.

    The point is if a meet is not confirmed after a few text exchanges, move on.
    Originally Posted by Kay90
    Yeah I was thinking of the first few reasons you mentioned. I agree we are strangers and he technically does not owe me anything. I just find it bizarre that he is on a dating site and has mentioned meeting up just to back out. Itís just a waste of everyoneís time. Thanks for your input.

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