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Thread: He thinks I'm a compulsive liar

  1. #1

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    He thinks I'm a compulsive liar

    I met a guy, the most amazing, kind, fun, like minded person I have ever met. He gave me everything, made me feel like the most important person in the world.....and I ed it. I deceived him by messaging someone else. I told him the truth, but this one lie has ruined everything, he can't even look at me anymore. He thinks I've lied about everything, he thinks I'm lying when I apologise, and no matter what I try to do to fix it, it only makes things worse. Is there any way he will ever forgive me or am I just clutching at straws in hope.

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    You canít force people to believe you . Learn from the experience and donít lie.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Sorry about this. Can you offer a bit more context? How long were you seeing each other? Were you two exclusive? And what was the context of you messaging someone else?

    Some answers there will make offering advice easier.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How long were you dating? Who did you message, an ex or someone on dating apps? Is he possessive and controlling? How old is he? Is this high-school stuff? Have you met in person? Do you know your motivation in messaging someone?

    Why did you tell him this? To sabotage the relationship or make him jealous? There is nothing you can do to make him forgive you. Either he does or he doesn't. It sounds like one or both of you wanted things to end so chose these passive-aggressive avenues to do so...sabotaging and holding a grudge. Both have no future.
    Originally Posted by ToniS
    I deceived him by messaging someone else. I told him the truth, but this one lie has ruined everything. He thinks I've lied about everything, he thinks I'm lying when I apologise, and no matter what I try to do to fix it, it only makes things worse.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Instead of asking if he'll forgive you, which we cannot know, you should be asking why you did what you did. Sometimes people have low self worth and subconsciously feel like a guy who treats them great isn't right for them, since they are not worthy. That's when the self sabotage happens.

    Another scenario? You're young and don't want anything serious right now. You want the fun of short term relationships and to experience more of life before settling down.

    The only thing you can do is some self analyzing, and figure out why you did what you did, so you can understand yourself better.

    You've learned a life lesson, and when you're ready to become serious with a guy, realize that how you operated in your younger days won't translate into adulthood, and the ego boosts from random guys will have to go by the wayside if you want to experience something a lot deeper and long lasting.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    That's the problem with telling a lie. You can't convince the recipient that you merely have selective lying issues instead compulsive lying issues.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by ToniS
    I met a guy, the most amazing, kind, fun, like minded person I have ever met. He gave me everything, made me feel like the most important person in the world.....and I deceived him by messaging someone else. Is there any way he will ever forgive me or am I just clutching at straws in hope.
    You are clutching at thin air, not even straws. I'm with the guy on this one.

    Past actions are the best predictor of future behavior and you have revealed a propensity to stray.

    He may have already forgiven you, but that does not mean he wants to be in a relationship with someone who might cheat.


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