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Thread: Ex fiancé of 6 years entering my life after 6 months NC

  1. #1

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    Ex fiancé of 6 years entering my life after 6 months NC

    Not sure where to start .. I am currently 22 and my ex is 20, we were together for 6 years, first love, lost our virginities together, I proposed to her August 2018 before she went to college, all seemed great besides one episode we had where we both split and had sexual relations with other people in 2017, well come March of 2019 and she contracted a sexual disease, chlamydia, claims to the death of her she didn’t do anything with anyone and I must’ve cheated and gave it to her, doesn’t want to hear a thing from me and leaves me on the spot. Now as a side note I have not cheated but we also did not get checked after our one time deal with other people. Anyhow months go by she doesn’t talk to me and then she returns to the city from school in the summer and starts seeing me again as usual only she makes sure I know we are not together. We remain sexually active and she comes over very often for about a few months and then she just starts acting very distant and immediately stops talking to me. Low behold the truth eventually comes out she’s talking to a new guy who is 45 years old and has a yacht and a lot of money and she really likes him physically and emotionally. She cuts me off like nothing claims I cheated on her and we don’t talk for months again. Then come early October I receive a call from a random number and she wants to hookup, being young and still hurt over the whole ordeal I go to see her and we have sexual relations for 3-4 days straight. I find out she is still very actively talking to this guy that is twice her age and he was calling constantly to find out what she was doing. She claims she isn’t over me and all that nonsense but can’t leave him because she likes him but also can’t be with me because I cheated and I’m lying that I didn’t cheat. OK. So we stop talking again for about a month before she calls me up and asks for another hookup, I went again, and this time her and the guy are done taking(apparently they got into it). During sex she tells me how she took me for granted and how much she loves me and how I actually make sure she’s pleased in sex and this guy doesn’t. And she asks if we can be quote “ buddies”. She is talking about relationship with me and kids and if I’ve changed and she’s now calling me constantly in the middle of the night to talk for hours as if we are together again. Now that the story is over I can’t figure out if I’m being used like a doormat and I’m too madly in love to see it, or if this girl that I loved for so long is worth pursuing. She has supposedly contracted the same sexual disease a second time but showed me she was cured from it.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. On/off relationships are often fraught with issues such as these. Other people being involved, STDs, heartache, drama and general dissatisfaction. Why? Because you were way too young to nail anyone down like that and you both should enjoy your freedom and experience life on your own so you can both develop into mature individuals.

    You both need to get tested and practice intelligent sex. STDs with mild, vague or silent symptoms can just get passed back and forth. Whoever you date, you need to use condoms. Do not be buddies. It's foolish, stunts your growth and will prevent decent girls from wanting to date you if you have an ex floating around that you are hung up on and on/off sexual with. You need to grow into yourself and let go of this unnecessary attachment.
    Originally Posted by jPark
    we both split and had sexual relations with other people in 2017, well come March of 2019 and she contracted a sexual disease, chlamydia, claims to the death of her she didn’t do anything with anyone

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    a) Have you been treated for Chlamydia yourself? Are you sure you are clear of it? Not all men have symptoms and it is a disease that, if left untreated, can lead to infertility. If you haven't, you need to check yourself ASAP.
    b) Regarding whether she is worth pursuing, it depends on whether you feel that you can trust her. No trust=no relationship. She has shown you what she is capable of. She is capable of treating you like a FWB, she is capable of dropping you for a rich guy twice her age, she is capable of lying and she is capable of cheating. Imo, she treated both you and that older guy equally deceiptfully and whatever transgression she thought you had committed does not justify her own callous behaviour. Can you really trust her after all that crap she pulled? If not, there is no point in continuing any of this.

    Imo, the more you let her treat you like her "buddy" the more she will keep disrespecting you. You say that you did not cheat on her. Yet, she keeps making you walk on eggshells treating you like just another option along the way. The whole dynamic sounds very toxic. You need to end that dynamic so whatever you do, you need to cut all the "buddy" crap.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I hope you're wearing condoms.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Yep, don't be Chlamydia Carl and keep passing this around. Get to a clinic. Just for fun...keep in mind many STDs can be transmitted orally.🤢
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I hope you're wearing condoms.

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    Originally Posted by jPark
    the truth eventually comes out she’s talking to a new guy who is 45 years old and has a yacht and a lot of money and she really likes him physically and emotionally. She cuts me off like nothing claims I cheated on her and we don’t talk for months again. .
    She is a classic gold digger.

    She also sounds like a promiscuous narcissist.

    Get rid of her, block her number, and stop being her doormat option.

    Alternately, win the lottery.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is she prostituting for money or on one of those sugardaddy sites? Ask her. Stop talking about kids because she may never be able to have them if she is hooking and chronically infected with STDs and obviously doesn't use protection.
    Originally Posted by jPark
    she’s talking to a new guy who is 45 years old and has a yacht and a lot of money and she really likes him physically and emotionally.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Is she prostituting for money or on one of those sugardaddy sites? Ask her. Stop talking about kids because she may never be able to have them if she is hooking and chronically infected with STDs and obviously doesn't use protection.
    I am not sure whether gold diggers are worse than professional ladies, to be fair.

    At least hookers earn an honest living.


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