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Thread: Ex moved on really fast and I still can't

  1. #11
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    Hey guys, thanks for all your advice - I have been on antidepressants for years now and Iíve tried a psychologist but it only helped for an hour or so. I think more than anything Iím just so shocked he moved on so fast, I thought what we shared was special and Iím worried I wonít find it again which is why I hold on. And he posted that she is the Ďgirl version of himí - he does the stuff he wouldnít do with me, with her and it hurts. I will make an effort to not stalk social media because itís in my highest good. I just donít understand any of it and Iím still confused.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I don't think 3 months is "really fast". My ex had already moved my replacement in before he broke up with me!

    Delete him from social media. Looking at that stuff only hurts you.

  3. #13
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    Are you a member of a gym?

  4. #14
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    I donít have time because I have uni full time and working plus they are ages away I want to though

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by ashl99
    I donít have time because I have uni full time and working plus they are ages away I want to though
    Are you an early riser or a late sleeper?

  7. #16
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    Late sleeper! Only if I don't have an early start
    Originally Posted by RayRay63
    Are you an early riser or a late sleeper?

  8. #17
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    Try this:

    Tomorrow morning, get up an hour early, put the headphones in your mobile, and listen to some 'dating guy' youtubes about closure coming from within, how to properly do no contact, and the toxicity of watching the ex social media, and get out and walk.

    Stop for a coffee half way. The 6am coffee crowd are interesting people. They are usually reasonably fit, successful people who are doing well in life, and don't lie in bed doing "morning mathematics" trying to work out how long can they stay there.

    People who sleep late and are overweight, unhappy and depressed do not make it to 6am coffee.

    Repeat every day, except walk faster. Eventually - start running. Preferably up hills.

    It is amazing how good you feel after you dose yourself with natural endorphins first thing.

    PS - Doesn't your Uni have a student union gym? Or at least some personal training available on whatever sort of sports ground is available?.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like you are quite fragile and it took him a awhile to finalize things because of that. He most likely checked out a long time ago so he didn't really move on quickly.

    For him the relationship has been dead for a long time, being with someone who is depressed and clingy tends to do that. He most likely didn't want to hurt you but also didn't want to be with you. Also he's 20 and not ready to settle down.

    You need to address your depression and anxiety better, not give up after one hour of therapy. You see, it's a catch-22 a self-exacerbating downward spiral.. Your depression pushes people away and when they leave you get more depressed.
    Originally Posted by ashl99
    Iíve tried a psychologist but it only helped for an hour or so.

  10. #19
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    I get what your saying but I wasn't clingy and didn't show him my depression, he was aware of it though. It also confuses me when you say it was 'dead' because he asked me to move in with him the day before, he repeatedly told me he loved me etc.

    I have been to councillors and the psychologist but they were just a quick fix for me, they all say the same thing and even when I try to get out more, exercise etc. it just doesn't help.
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It sounds like you are quite fragile and it took him a awhile to finalize things because of that. He most likely checked out a long time ago so he didn't really move on quickly.

    For him the relationship has been dead for a long time, being with someone who is depressed and clingy tends to do that. He most likely didn't want to hurt you but also didn't want to be with you. Also he's 20 and not ready to settle down.

    You need to address your depression and anxiety better, not give up after one hour of therapy. You see, it's a catch-22 a self-exacerbating downward spiral.. Your depression pushes people away and when they leave you get more depressed.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by ashl99
    ...
    they all say the same thing ...

    even when I try to get out more, exercise etc. it just doesn't help.
    They all say the same thing because the advice is based on biology and psychology that has been researched and developed for many years. Not surprising really.

    For how long have you persevered with daily exercise?

    1 month?

    2 months?

    More?

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