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Thread: Hmm. He spent a MONTH doing all these hints/jokes/mentions of marriage, etc

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by RayRay63
    Perhaps he was dropping the hints so he could gauge the OPs reaction, on account it would be a bit of a downer if she said no.

    Anyway, she hasn't come back so looks like he asked.

    No, he didn't.

    And I think he's mentioned it over 20 times now, which should be enough to gauge my reaction. He is worse than a girl trying to hint to a guy she wants to get married. SO weird.

    Just a year ago he would not dare talk about marriage, so the over commenting on it is ODD! he can't go a week without mentioning it, yet there's no way he has a ring!

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Don't know. Kid or no, two years together isn't a whole lot of time to credibly put someone in the dragging it out / not serious about marriage camp. And truth be told, a lot of guys (myself included) are pretty big dunces when it comes to just how anxious or hopeful many women get about having the question popped. Being frank, I don't know why so many women do it to themselves. But a lot of guys drop hints as an assurance not knowing it results in a more prompt expectation. Again at face value, I'd say the guy's biggest crime is not keeping his mouth shut until he's got the ring in hand. Beyond that, I say wait a season and we'll know just how cheap his talk is.
    Thing is -- before him dropping ALLLLL these comments etc I NEVER ever had any immediate expectations, or hopes at all. But they definitely got my hopes up, and I just feel disappointed.

  3. #13
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    Do you ever give him any sort of reciprocal hints that answer would be yes?

    Show him a website with rings you like or something similar.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately you are living together as a family already. Why is he making a mockery of your desire to marry? Of course he doesn't have to marry you. Act like you don't care.

    Unfortunately you seem to be with a real jerk who likes to taunt you and laugh in your face about getting you to live with him and have kids and not get married.

    Have you told this clown he is not being funny? What's with the carrot and stick? Is that to keep you in line while he carries on as a single guy and you're saddled with living together and a kid? If he wanted to get married it would have happened years ago.
    Originally Posted by texasgurl
    Jokingly saying "we should just get married"

    Joked about proposing for Christmas and that's what I get for Christmas.

    made a joke about this place that says plaques
    we've been together 2 years, have a kid together, and yes we've discussed marriage before.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by RayRay63
    Do you ever give him any sort of reciprocal hints that answer would be yes?

    Show him a website with rings you like or something similar.
    hmm maybe I haven't

    I just assumed he kinda knows I guess

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Unfortunately you are living together as a family already. Why is he making a mockery of your desire to marry? Of course he doesn't have to marry you. Act like you don't care.

    Unfortunately you seem to be with a real jerk who likes to taunt you and laugh in your face about getting you to live with him and have kids and not get married.

    Have you told this clown he is not being funny? What's with the carrot and stick? Is that to keep you in line while he carries on as a single guy and you're saddled with living together and a kid? If he wanted to get married it would have happened years ago.
    no I haven't told him the hints aren't funny. I don't think he does them to taunt me.

    he doesn't act like a single guy at all

  8. #17
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    It seems kind of over the top to me but Iím an outsider. Has he been married or engaged before? Iím not sure about why heís emphasizing the surprise element so much because itís not like you seem to need that. Yes I agree engagement should come with a ring and a wedding date. So in your situation the very next time he mentions it say ďso when would you want to get married ?Ē See if he has a time line or date in mind. If he doesnít then I would say heís just a lot of words no action. Iím sorry youíre frustrated. I work be as well.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    It seems kind of over the top to me but Iím an outsider. Has he been married or engaged before? Iím not sure about why heís emphasizing the surprise element so much because itís not like you seem to need that. Yes I agree engagement should come with a ring and a wedding date. So in your situation the very next time he mentions it say ďso when would you want to get married ?Ē See if he has a time line or date in mind. If he doesnít then I would say heís just a lot of words no action. Iím sorry youíre frustrated. I work be as well.
    No. from what he says hes never been close to marrying anyone.

    Im going to try that. Lol. Its so odd! Maybe hes nervous, IDK.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    After years together and having a child together, you don't seem to have a comfort level of communicating with him. Instead of asking other people what he means by his comments, ask him. Instead of bottling up your frustration, tell him how this barrage of words with no results is making you feel. He's not a mind reader. You need to let a partner know when something's bothering you. If he's passive aggressive with you sometimes, what do you say about it to shut him down and make sure he stops this toxic behavior?

    Sounds like you two could use some couples communication help by reading together books on that subject like: Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Something that is supposed to be special ends up feeling antagonistic.

    To each their own, but if my boyfriend did the same, I'd ask him to stop. If at anytime he wants to propose or talk about it, then let me know.

    But between now and then it feels as if he's toying with you. Maybe he doesn't realize how it comes across.

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