BF active on Tinder, . How to proceed?

My ex and I broke up earlier this year. A couple of months later, no contact during those months, he came back into my life, crying and begging for another chance. I eventually caved, since my heart loves him. During the time we were apart he had downloaded Tinder. Which is fine. However after me taking him back, I requested he delete it, cuz , and he did.

Fast forward two months, I notice him becoming distant and picking fights with me over stupid , yet he tells me nothing is wrong, he loves me, and doesn't want to let me go.

Female intuition, gut instinct.

I make a fake Tinder profile, he is one of the first to appear, I like, we match. And he initiates conversation, lots of emoojis and flirtyness, asking to meet this fake person.

Ohhh, I know I sunk equally low as him by doing this. Catfishing, I hear its called. Say what you want about that.

My question however, is how to proceed? Confront him? Get a friend to confront him? Keep pretending to be this fake account and set up a meeting and actually show up as myself? Or just the real me, leave him with no explanation and for him never to hear from me again? Or say whatever I have on my heart, about him being a liar and a cheater (which probably won't affect him since he obviously does not give a about how I feel?)? I want to. Call him out as the he is. Or is silence and absence the best way to proceed? I know neither will hurt him as much as he has hurt me, I want to play this smart and semi preserve my dignity. Similar stories and experiences welcome! Or other creative suggestions!

How to proceed?

First thing I would do is turn on some bright lights, look in the mirror, and ask yourself if you want to be a woman in a relationship that leads you to create fake Tinder accounts. If the answer is no, I would then end this relationship with grace and dignity, telling him that you've realized this is not working, that you're not able to feel the sense of trust and security you need, and that's that. You will, I suspect, thank yourself later for this approach. It's the behavior of a woman who knows her worth and is making space to find a man who can cherish it.

Because your other considerations? Well, no. And no and no. You're at this point for a simple reason: you're with a man you can't trust, with reason. You don't fix that by becoming crafty, deceitful, and duplicitous. All that gets you is becoming more or less the kind of person he is, a woman tainting her own worth to seek revenge on a man who is not worth her time. I don't think you want to be that woman.

Sorry for this. On/off relationships rarely even out. I'd take this whole chapter as a lesson in that, and use it to move forward not further into this unfortunate hole.

Thank you for addressing this to my rational senses. At first I reacted emotionally instead of responding with a logical clear mind.

No games.

Just end things with him, and tell him why.

He's cheating and not loyal to you. You know all you need to know.

There is a saying that applies in your situation: "Never wrestle with a pig. You 'll both get dirty and the pig likes it." Just end things and focus on your healing.

It sounds like you never got back together in his mind and just started a fwb situation. He's free to date whoever he wants and so are you. Just stop sleeping with him and better yet delete and block him from all social media and messaging apps.

Get on some Quality (paid) dating apps with a real profile and start talking to and meeting new decent men. Never get back with an ex, all that becomes is on/off nonsense just like this scenario.

My ex and I broke up earlier this year.

The best thing you can do for yourself is calmly tell him that you know he has not been loyal to you, and that you're done with the relationship and moving on.

As SherrySher suggested, don't play games. Don't get into any shouting matches or allow him to beg or plead (if it comes to that) or try and feed you some BS excuse.

Just walk away. No point investing any more time or energy in someone who clearly only cares about himself.

Trust me, you'll thank yourself later.

Sorry this happened, Psykadelicio.

Yes agree with the others. Jusy end it. Don't play games or get dragged down to his level. He's dishonest and you deserve better than that.

Were you hoping someone would suggest telling him he is dumped using the Tinder account? To get some sort of revenge?

Don't - just phone him and tell him you are ending it because it is not right for you. If he presses you for details, tell him you know he is active on Tinder.

Then block/delete him and get busy at the gym etc.

Tell him the relationship isn't working for you, and end it.

Reading between the lines, it sounds as though you've already raised the issue of him picking fights and being distant and he totally denies anything's wrong. However, that doesn't mean you think there's nothing wrong, and just let him know this isn't what you want in a relationship - which it isn't.

Tinder's an irrelevance really. It just confirmed what you already knew on a gut level.