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Thread: My girlfriend had sex with her cousin

  1. #1

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    My girlfriend had sex with her cousin

    I have always felt my girlfriend and her cousin had a thing in the past just from the way they talked to each other over the phone and how the conversations were very awkward and short when I was around. I raised this issue with her the first time it made me uncomfortable and she told me off, and questioned how could I even think of her stooping that low with a cousin. In between, we have been going through a lot of ups and downs, mostly because she would appear to be flirting with other guys and when I ask I was told either its just another old friend or relative. We talked about it, told her I wasn't happy and she stopped talking to most of them (well, at least not in my face anymore). She had to confess so many other things because I had found out the truth by myself. In the process of rebuilding my trust in her I asked her one last time, and this time she admitted that yes she had sex with the cousin for sometime, what I suspected all along (maybe she thought I already knew by this time). I was happy she opened up to me because I don't care about what she did in the past. Because I wasn't comfortable with the fact that I knew they were constantly in touch with the cousin (not sure about what since most of it happened behind my back), but I wanted to give her a chance because of how much she had opened up, I asked my girlfriend to text her cousin that she had told me everything because I didn't want the cousin to ever talk to me again as I felt he was taking me for a fool. The cousin called back immediately, and girlfriend asked me if she could take the call in privacy, and I lost all my strength and chose not to fight and said OK. She went away but then I made up my mind that whatever she has with the cousin was clearly more important to preserve than what we had, that this conversation couldn't happen in my ears. What's there still to hide??? Am I overacting (given she finally confided in me)?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It's inappropriate - all of it (past and even what's going on now). I'd call it a day and end it. Take care of yourself.

  3. #3
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    I would say you are not a priority to her. She had sex with her cousin! Thatís disgusting. I would run if I were you.

  4. #4
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    He will always be there ... always.
    How old are you both?
    I am so sorry you are hurting. I would leave this scenery. It will cause you more pain that you can possibly imagine.

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  6. #5

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    I'm 29 and she's 26

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    What the heck? This is a type of incest and it's quite sick.

    Why are you still talking to this girl, let alone dating her?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    At the very least your girlfriend should not have anything further to do with her cousin but apparently they have a bond past a family dynamic that you would do well to get yourself away from. Don't feel bad about leaving her after she confessed. She needs to learn that she can't hold onto him like she has been if she wants a life partner. Clearly they are having a hard time hiding their bond/attraction for one another since you sussed it out rather quickly so she needs to learn that her behaviour with him is going to cost her her romantic relationships if she doesn't clean up her act with him.

    I don't think you'll ever be able to trust her or get over what you know (do you think you can?) so cutting ties with her is probably in YOUR best interests. Keep whats in your best interests the focus and don't worry so much about her right now.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is she from a culture that arranges cousin-marriages? Middle East, Asia, etc. Is it consensual or incest? Make up your mind. Stay away no matter what. There are plenty of other girls to date so why bother with all this?
    Originally Posted by Mako261
    She went away but then I made up my mind that whatever she has with the cousin was clearly more important to preserve than what we had.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwww!

  11. #10
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    Ick. Please dump her. That is disgusting. You are not overreacting. if anything, you are underreacting. You should dump her. Now. No third of fifth chances. Sometimes the truth is so vile that a person should not be rewarded for "opening up and being honest". And she got what she wanted if your solution was to tell the cousin not to contact you. In that case, they can carry out their illness behind your back really easily. Just leave her already

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