Internet break-up experts - not worth a penny!

A recent poster provided an opportunity to engage in one of my favorite pastimes - deconstructing the ex-back internet charlatans who make a living using slick sales techniques to separate broken hearted people from their money.

First, there are only three internet youtube advisors who it was worth listening to (IMHO) - Dating Guy, Rory at the Love Chat, and Craig Kenneth. Carus likes Mouth of the Ape, and he is a good one for a gym session because his youtubes go on for 30 or 40 minutes. His message is OK two, because he says No Contact is forever from the dumpee. So I guess that is 4.

There are others I have seen, but they are all full of crap. There are likely some I haven't seen, who might be OK (Lucia?). So no names......

Secondly, anyone who charges $47 for anything (or 147, 247, etc) has been to a marketing psychology lecture where the virtues of charging $47 have been extolled. It is a psychological break-point. It is also a very clear indicator that they have designed their whole spiel to get your money. Somewhere in the fine print it'll mention success cannot be guaranteed. So you can't sue them later.

Thirdly, any "expert" who tells you any of the following things is telling you what you want to hear and peddling nonsense.

(a) No contact should be done for 2 weeks or 30 days or any other finite period. This is complete BS. No contact from the dumpee is FOREVER. The only hope of reconciliation is if the dumper changes their mind. That is it. You should not be contacting them. You should be working on yourself, so that if/when curiosity gets the better of them they find a better more attractive version of you that can possibly win them back. About a 1% possibility, by the way. Imagine if you phone your ex one weekend after 30 days or 1 year or whatever, and they are away on a romantic weekend, bonking their new lover.

(b) They sell past the sale, by asking you to imagine after you pay them hundreds of dollars to give you some really bad advice what it will be like with your ex back in your arms. I want to vomit. Really. Possibly projectile vomit. Talking past the sale also includes telling you you will learn some secret technique, and you must only use it "properly" and not for bad purposes.

© They tell you they can give you the wording of text message that will get your ex back - utter tosh. There is no such thing.

(d) They talk about Sun Tzu and the indirect approach. Text and ask about the cat to open the conversation. Your ex is a mature adult. Do you not think they can see through this nonsense? Personally, I was with a lady whose ex was doing the two-step text plan, two years after they broke up. He would text her and say "I have something important to tell you". She would not reply. Eventually he would come back with "I found your jacket in the cupboard, can I come and give it to you" or something. She would wait about a week and then text "Throw it in the bin".

(e) They tell you to use social media as a weapon, and give you hints on what to post. This is so stupid it beggars belief. Your ex dumped you because they were sick of you, and no longer wanted to be around you. The only way to get their attention is to peak their curiosity. To do that you need to disappear out of sight. Far from engaging in juvenile social media posts, you need to block and delete those contacts, and all their people as well. Better still, hide your profile for 6 months, and maybe never reactivate it. This will actually give you more time to go to the gym, improve, and work on your purpose in life.

(f) They tell you you must act now or you will miss your chance. That time is short and finite. The truth is the only chance you have is if the ex changes their mind, and the timing is out of your control. Acting earlier will actually ruin your chances. Hopefully after you bought that program for $247.

(g) They have one of those % chance quizzies on their website, which tell every-one who takes it that they have a 50-70% (+/-) chance of reconciliation. Not too much so that you can sue them, not too little to get your money. I mean, come on.

(h) They claim that their methods will make your ex partner beg for you back, And be begging you for sex. Beg, begging, beg, begging. It's one of those key words. So great you will get revenge (another key word) and make them beg. These are all psychological prompt words that they are using to GET YOUR MONEY!

(i) They can only sell this program for a limited period of time, or to a limited number of people, or whatever. This is so transparent it should require no explanation.

Fourthly, never ever write the ex the handwritten letter. No, no, no, [expletive deleted] no. It is pathetic. Imagine you are sick of someone. You dump them. They write you a handwritten letter. You laugh at them because it is pathetic.

I could go on, but I'm sure other posters can contribute on this topic.

Great outline exposing these scam artists. They profit from people's heartaches.

Yes, it's a very sad thing but lots of scammers willing to take advantage of desperate people. :(

Great post Ray!

First, there are only three internet youtube advisors who it was worth listening to (IMHO) - Dating Guy, Rory at the Love Chat, and Craig Kenneth. Carus likes Mouth of the Ape......

 

I could go on, but I'm sure other posters can contribute on this topic.

Yes that's true. I found Ape to be ok, although he hasn't posted anything for quite some time now.....

I did do a Skype thing with him for a week but I found he was treating me like a noob...Telling me things like block on FB, don't call her, go NC etc etc...I tried to explain to him that I already knew and had done all that but I think he was just copying and pasting from a text file....So I really didn't get much out of it.....

I like Craig Kenneth and Margaret for the psychology stuff that she brings to the channel but his 'Email Coaching' was just one line throw away answers that you can get in here for free....I think he's way too expensive but he's obviously making a killing out of it....I think he's still hung up a bit on the Apple Bees girl too lol....

Dating Guys 'Roast Videos' are both hilarious and informative....He did one on Dan Bacon last year and Bacon had it taken down. He tried again this year but Bacon had it removed again! I guess the truth hurts huh Dan? :-/

There definitely are some good supportive channels out there:

The Healing Heart - If you can find him. Good psychology stuff.

Alan Robarge.

Lisa Romano has some great guided meditation stuff.

Pandoras Box with Kaleah.

Teal Swan - If you want to get deep and spiritual....to name a few.

The audio book, 'From Abandonment To Healing' by Susan Anderson literally saved my life!

Take Care Out There*

Carus*

To be sure, I am not suggesting your should necessarily pay Craig Kenneth (or any of them) - his free videos are enough.

I saw the recent Dan Bacon roast. Imagine being so needy and insecure that you couldn't cop a little criticism on youtube. The irony there is so thick you could cut it.

My view is that the first rule here is don't pay anyone on youtube, get a face to face therapist with qualifications. There are exceptions; Dating Guy is definitely one.

I look at it as, no matter how you slice it, if they wanted to be with you they would. Unfortunately that's the last thing a dumpee wants to hear at the very beginning of the breakup.

Sadly in this day and age, scammers are a dime a dozen.

agreed, craig kenneth and dating guy.

coach lee's breakup repair kit was a sham. his free videos on youtube were better. gave me a refund

 

coach lee... gave me a refund

Interested in that. He just went up in my estimation.

Good points RayRay!

I would go further and say, none are worth it.

Yes, it's not like you see in the Hollywood movies.......once somebody does not like you or even hates you to the point they breakup with you or stop talking to you, or think of you as a friend or a brother, in most cases they are never coming back. You get one chance at love per person.

It's not really a problem if you understand love and relationships - you just date others until you find the one. I know, easy to say, hard to do - but plenty of people do it.

I actually found Coach Lee not so bad. I also like Zan's Magnet of Success blog - very concisely written and most of the stuff there is pretty realistic IMHO. And I must not forget the YT videos The Healing Hearth by CameroneProductions. They call kept me up on my feet during the dark days.

Anyone who says they can get you your ex back if you give them money is a scam artist and a liar.

It is not possible. Your ex comes back because they choose to, not because you followed some lame script written by a thief.

I actually found Coach Lee not so bad.

Some of his stuff was originally OK, but he seems to have headed into money making territory.

So, jury out - if he wants to be taken seriously he can do the work.

Mind that seeks truth on youtube has been a massive help to me. Its not a get your ex back site, its more about understanding your psyche after a break up. Highly reccomend

Mind that seeks truth on youtube has been a massive help to me. Its not a get your ex back site, its more about understanding your psyche after a break up. Highly reccomend

He seems to only have a few hundred viewers, although one video had 5.3k. Which is probably because it is entitled "#1 reason to never get back with your ex". It's probably the only one that comes up on the usual sort of searches people do.

Anyway, I'll give it a listen, some of his topics sound interesting.

He seems to only have a few hundred viewers, although one video had 5.3k. Which is probably because it is entitled "#1 reason to never get back with your ex". It's probably the only one that comes up on the usual sort of searches people do.

 

Anyway, I'll give it a listen, some of his topics sound interesting.

A few of his videos have 3 or 400,000 views, but the channel is definately unknown which is a shame because the content is great.

I look at it as, no matter how you slice it, if they wanted to be with you they would. Unfortunately that's the last thing a dumpee wants to hear at the very beginning of the breakup.

You're right. that hurts, but you're right.

You're right. that hurts, but you're right.

Please tell me that you have not paid any money to Brad Browning or Love Advice TV with respect to doing 3 weeks NC and then sending a magic text/handwritten letter that will get your ex back*.

*The fine print will tell you no result is guaranteed.

Please tell me that you have not paid any money to Brad Browning or Love Advice TV with respect to doing 3 weeks NC and then sending a magic text/handwritten letter that will get your ex back*.

 

*The fine print will tell you no result is guaranteed.

And the "testimonials" from "hundreds of satisfied customers" are fake too.

I saw this somewhere on the board:

We went back to radio silence again and this brings me to now. We were radio silent for just over 3 weeks.

A quick google led, of course to Love Advice TV.

What I found absolutely extraordinary was this assertion:

Radio Silence : The new and improved no contact rule to get back with an ex!

...

Ultimately our experience has led us to create a new and improved form of the no contact rule; a technique that ...[name redacted because the "name" is a trademark of Elite Communication Coaching LLC].. coined the radio silence. In this modern version of the no contact rule developed in France we were able to weave out all of the unnecessary elements in order to provide you with a simple yet very powerful 12 step plan.

Surely there are some sort of advertising regulations (in Florida where this company is registered) to stop this sort of sophistry?

Here are some extracts from the fine print, by the way:

We cannot guarantee that our products and services as mentioned above will help in your particular situation to improve your life, love life, and personal development. Everyone is unique and every situation is different so our advice may not work in part or otherwise based on your specific needs and situation. By continuing to use, read, and participate in this website and our services you acknowledge that we cannot guarantee any particular results, as such outcomes are based on subjective factors that are not within our control... That would be that you can't 'make' your ex do anything.

 

We make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents or results of utilization of the contents of this website and specifically disclaim all warranties, including, without limitation, warranties of fitness for a particular purpose. The advice, recommendations, statements, strategies, or techniques contained herein or provided by our coaches may not be suitable for every person and/or every situation. Relationship, dating, love, and personal growth advice provided by us and our coaches is presented with the understanding that the author is not engaging in rendering professional psychological or counseling services, nor is our work deemed a substitute for counseling, psychotherapy, or medication.

None of our coaches are licensed physicians, psychologists, councilors, or trained in suicide prevention.

 

But I bet they have "many, many" satisfied customers and there are "testimonials" from those satisfied customers.

And of course you must purchase the 12 step program NOW or you'll never see your ex again!!!!

But I bet they have "many, many" satisfied customers and there are "testimonials" from those satisfied customers.

 

And of course you must purchase the 12 step program NOW or you'll never see your ex again!!!!

The comments section made me sick in my mouth a bit.

The funny thing about the 12 step program summary on their site is that about 75% is a correct application of no contact. The other 25% (the hand written letter included ) then undoes most of the good work.

I wonder if they tell you to do only a 2-3 weeks NC, because if you go any longer you might move forwards a little, and realize you don't need to pay for personal coaching.

Coach Lee is one of the best out there in my opinion.

If a person wants to come back to you, they will. In order for that to happen it takes time away from them and you not contacting them and them starting to miss you and value what you brought to the table. As Coach Lee says, it is common sense really. This can work. No money exchange needed.