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Thread: Am I crazy wanting him back? Messy break up (long post)

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Stay away from All his people. Just stop. It's over it doesn't matter what his coworkers or mother thinks .
    Originally Posted by CatHeroine
    I'm still so tempted to show on my WhatsApp story tje things he said before and after break up just to clean myself in front of some of his colleagues who were my friends too.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    He still sounds like a mess and a master manipulator, to me. I'm sad for you and I hope that you regain some of your strength and dignity and find yourself in all this.
    You might be right. He has difficulties talking about anything negative, especially emotions hence we couldn't fix things, i was not enough. He's a cheerful always happy very balanced person. I'm obviously more emotional but i felt we complement each other so well and we grew together so much learning from each other. I'm undertaking therapy as my psychologist said i have issues with self worth and respect. I used to be confident, good career, lived alone in another country. He was just a student and a grey mouse. I initiated with him, i asked his name first. I kissed him first. I told him i love him first. I was never afraid. Then he got a good job, i became dependent on him (financially too because i gave up my jobs to live with him in Germany) and i think he got the upper hand, he made the decisions, he planned the holidays... But he still listened to me. I just built up my business now. We waited until i have enough business so the we can have our Mila, the daughter we envisioned. It all sounds ridiculous now.

  3. #23
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    I will, i won't do it.

  4. #24
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    Don't ever lose yourself in a relationship, as it is unhealthy.

    Time to move on. Block and delete him and his mother.

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  6. #25
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    I'll try my best. I thought about reaching out one more time saying what I've found over here

    I liked you very much, I wish this could have continued on a mutual basis. But if this is something you cannot commit to, then this is something I don't want either. So for now, lets keep things separated. I will miss you as a person but moving on is more important. Hopefully we can come in contact again sometime when feelings are buried, but now is not the moment.

    Thoughts? I don't want him to remember me by the drama I caused during and after the break up

  7. #26
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    He already knows all of that.

    You just want to give him one more chance to tell you he made a horrible.mistake and he wants you back. Just like you insist you must attend his mother's wedding because she's just so sweet and loves you so much, but then you admit you're hoping to reconnect with him there.

    I wouldn't send it, but I think you will anyway.

  8. #27
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    No I'd rather not, I don't want to break my nc which I'm holding quite well... My last message to him was quite bad... I caused a lot of unnecessary drama too... Begging pleading.... Talking to his family (which he might not know about fully as they keep most things to themselves but who knows).

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by CatHeroine
    I'll try my best. I thought about reaching out one more time saying what I've found over here

    I liked you very much, I wish this could have continued on a mutual basis. But if this is something you cannot commit to, then this is something I don't want either. So for now, lets keep things separated. I will miss you as a person but moving on is more important. Hopefully we can come in contact again sometime when feelings are buried, but now is not the moment.

    Thoughts? I don't want him to remember me by the drama I caused during and after the break up
    Please don't. You have already reached out enough. You gain nothing. You are still failing to recognize that he was cheating on YOU.

    He did not treat you with any respect and he has moved on from the relationship. It is time to move on.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by CatHeroine
    I'll try my best. I thought about reaching out one more time saying what I've found over here

    I liked you very much, I wish this could have continued on a mutual basis. But if this is something you cannot commit to, then this is something I don't want either. So for now, lets keep things separated. I will miss you as a person but moving on is more important. Hopefully we can come in contact again sometime when feelings are buried, but now is not the moment.

    Thoughts? I don't want him to remember me by the drama I caused during and after the break up
    Why???
    This relationship was dysfunctional, itís not going to change by you repeating yourself?
    Why would you want contact when feelings are buried???
    You have both clearly buried your feelings the entire relationship.
    Now that they are out in the open and you hopefully realise this relationship was simply dysfunctional , why woukd you want to go there again and open up contact for a repeat of the same?

    Why was his whatsapp open for you to access?
    Iím guessing because of prior lack of trust and him trying to be an open book , which still didnít sit well with you?

    No partner should ever grant their partner access to any private social media , e mail etc.
    And no partner should ever agree to it.

    Trust is blind.

    My smothering theory as you call it still stands.

    His mother will love his next gf just as much and she wonít be in contact with you then. It is what it is!

    My exes mum was super lovely , but when I split with him I split with her.

    Thatís life!

    Your next bfs mum Iím sure will love you too.

  11. #30
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    He uses WhatsApp Web and I use the laptop for work so he casually mentioned to look up the people he talked about while facetiming. I would have never had issues with him using my accounts, hell i wouldn't have cared if he snooped either, i had nothing to hide. The problem occurred when I was working and then the messages started to pop up and yeah I saw them even when I shouldn't have. But I would have felt like an idiot if i didn't know the way he talks to the girls. It was getting worse. The worse I felt the worse he got.

    He was showing me his messages thinking that makes him (look) transparent and innocent. But even then I didn't like the way the teenager talked and how he was giving he the attention she craved. During break up this was his argument but I thought it was manipulative. Showing someone you're a murderer doesn't name you any less of a criminal.

    I leave the smothering theory then to you. I still don't know what you base it up on.

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