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Thread: Am I crazy wanting him back? Messy break up (long post)

  1. #11
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    My problem is his mom loves me a lot she even bought me a Christmas present when I was there knowing i won't be coming... And shes been supporting me throughout this mess suffering herself... And she asked me on pinky promise to come to her wedding she won't even let her son bring another woman there she said.... Hence I'm torn if i should break my promise to her who's been so amazing to me.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Make a clean break from him there is no need for you to dog sit for him. Do Not Move back to be with him. Stay with your friends/family. focus on your own family, not his. Cut all contact and delete and block him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps.
    Originally Posted by CatHeroine
    I've moved out.
    he told me I'm disgusting.
    maybe move back to the city with time so that we can take care of the dog together.
    I then left 29th forever

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by CatHeroine
    My problem is his mom loves me a lot she even bought me a Christmas present when I was there knowing i won't be coming... And shes been supporting me throughout this mess suffering herself... And she asked me on pinky promise to come to her wedding she won't even let her son bring another woman there she said.... Hence I'm torn if i should break my promise to her who's been so amazing to me.
    That is not your problem, it is his.

    Tell her sorry, but it is inappropriate for your health and well being to be in contact with him, or his close family, at this time and for many months to come.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by CatHeroine
    Wou why are you jumping on my throat? His WhatsApp was open with his full consent and he encouraged me to use it. He was telling me to open it when we talked about the people he was with. He told me check this and that, I'm getting along with her and that's the London girl etc. He literally texted me i can stalk the London girl through his Instagram since she's doing the sexy areal yoga thing! .... Never in the 4.5 years i have ever accessed any of his private messages.

    As I said he wanted me to join him first so there goes your smothering theory.
    This guy is a real jerk. He cheats on you and blames you for it. Such a high level of disrespect. And, I cannot believe that you are hoping that he will forgive you after the way HE treated you. Where is the self respect!

    You need to be done! Do not date for about a year. You need to heal from this creep, not praying that he will come back.

    You need to cut ties with the mother. You should not be using her as your therapist. Talk to your friends.

    It is over!
    Last edited by Hollyj; 12-23-2019 at 11:38 AM.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by CatHeroine
    My problem is his mom loves me a lot she even bought me a Christmas present when I was there knowing i won't be coming... And shes been supporting me throughout this mess suffering herself... And she asked me on pinky promise to come to her wedding she won't even let her son bring another woman there she said.... Hence I'm torn if i should break my promise to her who's been so amazing to me.
    This is a bit odd, no? Why would a grown woman behave so immaturely towards her own son and embarrass herself by getting involved in his private life or pull sides? I'd have my eyes peeled if I were you. This is no good at all. I think you're wading into murkier and murkier waters.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    None of this should be happening. If any if this is true, she is a manipulative very strange woman. This sounds like someone a school kid would do, not this guy's mother. Perhaps the whole family is a bit weird?
    Originally Posted by CatHeroine
    My problem is his mom loves me she asked me on pinky promise to come to her wedding she won't even let her son bring another woman there she said.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    This is a bit odd, no? Why would a grown woman behave so immaturely towards her own son and embarrass herself by getting involved in his private life or pull sides? I'd have my eyes peeled if I were you. This is no good at all. I think you're wading into murkier and murkier waters.
    I think this would be on me. On the holiday I started crying and I told her I'm worried. And after we kept in touch. I was hoping she or his sister would talk some sense into him (not a good idea but I was alone and desperate). Since then she kept in touch with me trying to help. But she didn't know what to do or say either.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    This is a bit odd, no? Why would a grown woman behave so immaturely towards her own son and embarrass herself by getting involved in his private life or pull sides? I'd have my eyes peeled if I were you. This is no good at all. I think you're wading into murkier and murkier waters.
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    None of this should be happening. If any if this is true, she is a manipulative very strange woman. This sounds like someone a school kid would do, not this guy's mother. Perhaps the whole family is a bit weird?
    Yeah the pinky promise thing happened over chat actually... She was like promise me you'll come to my wedding... And i said I wouldn't miss it. She's actually very sweet and kind and tried to help though she didn't know herself how. She said she's hurting a lot too because I'm like a daughter to her.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    This guy is a real jerk. He cheats on you and blames you for it. Such a high level of disrespect. And, I cannot believe that you are hoping that he will forgive you after the way HE treated you. Where is the self respect!

    You need to be done! Do not date for about a year. You need to heal from this creep, not praying that he will come back.

    You need to cut ties with the mother. You should not be using her as your therapist. Talk to your friends.

    It is over!
    Yes you're right, I wish he'd apologise at the wedding or we'd talk. I wish he'd feel remorse. I asked him how can it be easy for him he claimed its wasn't (though i had to see him daily chatting with them foe hours and smiling)... He said to his mom and sister that its hard on him too and he needs everything to settle down and then see what the future holds. But to one girl he was ridiculing me with he said never go back to an ex. He even told me he wanted to give me/us another chance (I didn't know about this it was all in his head) but then he didn't suggesting i f___ed it up again... I'm still thinking it was a deadly combo of a quarter life crisis, fear from commitment (constant wedding talk from family and friends), these new flirts that were so good for his ego (he said it himself) and me 'overreacting' in the beginning.

    I'm still so tempted to show on my WhatsApp story tje things he said before and after break up just to clean myself in front of some of his colleagues who were my friends too. I'm sure they know only one side of the story. He was innocent and I was a spying creep.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    He still sounds like a mess and a master manipulator, to me. I'm sad for you and I hope that you regain some of your strength and dignity and find yourself in all this.

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