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Thread: Christmas card for my crush?

  1. #1

    Christmas card for my crush?

    I have a crush on this guy at work hes fairly new i dont see him much except when hes walking by because he works in another department we say hi to each other all the time every now and then i try to talk to him but small talk because he seems to be really really shy and he doesnt say much at all literally so im trying to slowly warm up to him. But im giving all my coworkers christmas cards i wanted to give him one because i thought it would be a nice gesture and maybe help break the ice. Someone told me not to because hes so shy he might feel to much pressure to try and talk to me . I thought it would be nice I wanted other peoples oppinions would it be to much if i give him a christmas card? Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Platinum Member greta96's Avatar
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    If you are giving all your coworkers cards anyway, I don't see why it would be an issue giving him one as well. Just don't make it any more special than the others, in case he's not interested in pursuing you. I don't see how it would add any pressure on him to talk to you, no matter how shy I'm sure he's able to say 'thank you'. But just keep in mind that the most likely reason why he's not doing anything where you're concerned is that he's not interested, or he is not available. I don't usually buy the "too shy" justification.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by Yocasta1985
    I have a crush on this guy at work
    Rule of thumb, never EVER date at work. # of reasons
    - opening your entire personal life to everyone
    - putting your job/career on the line
    - awkward situation when things go south or there is drama (and there is always problems in any relationship in time).

    There is 100 of other things as well........above should be more than enough to steer you away.

    Never EVER date at work.

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by Yocasta1985
    I have a crush on this guy at work hes fairly new i dont see him much except when hes walking by because he works in another department we say hi to each other all the time every now and then i try to talk to him but small talk because he seems to be really really shy and he doesnt say much at all literally so im trying to slowly warm up to him. But im giving all my coworkers christmas cards i wanted to give him one because i thought it would be a nice gesture and maybe help break the ice. Someone told me not to because hes so shy he might feel to much pressure to try and talk to me . I thought it would be nice I wanted other peoples oppinions would it be to much if i give him a christmas card?
    Maybe he is not shy at all. He just doesn't really want to talk to you. If people say a card would be pressure, then don't send him one. Only send to the very closest coworkers of yours.

    The mistake here is asking his coworkers and creating office chatter about it. Honestly, I would have made the decision to send it or not without making it a big discussion that would get back to him - but I agree with other posters - send cards to EVERY coworker or NONE or just to the handful you work most closely with.

    I also agree pursuing a guy at work is a mistake. The guy doesn't even talk to you. There is no natural chemistry to risk it on. There are situations where coworkers who have worked for years closely together form a friendship and later attraction and decide for one to leave and get a different job so they can date, but this will only backfire on you.

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  6. #5
    Gold Member Knot2loud's Avatar
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    There's an exception to dating someone you work with...

    Marry them and then one of you get a job somewhere else.

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    Not really.

    You don't even know him. It won't go down well.

  8. #7
    The person i asked was a friend of mine who does not work with me. And i assume hes shy because noone at work ever sees him talking to anyone people try to talk to him he either isnt sure what to say or just gives everyone short 1 workd answers or yes and no so i assume hes shy and since hea new maybe he isnt super comfortable getting close to anyone yet. I couldnt help but have a crush on him although now i feel completely discouraged

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    Originally Posted by Yocasta1985
    The person i asked was a friend of mine who does not work with me. And i assume hes shy because noone at work ever sees him talking to anyone people try to talk to him he either isnt sure what to say or just gives everyone short 1 workd answers or yes and no so i assume hes shy and since hea new maybe he isnt super comfortable getting close to anyone yet. I couldnt help but have a crush on him although now i feel completely discouraged
    Glad you are discouraged because its a terrible idea to single him out.

    What you don't understand about the "making the first move" is that you need a green light - the other person should show some interest in your existence and he doesn't.

    Maybe he just doesn't want to talk to you, is engrossed in his work, English is his second language or he has Asperger's syndrome or maybe simply he doesn't want to get involved in office politics - how refreshing the latter would be. He is not interested no matter what your fantasies say. He could even be married or dating and keeping his personal life to himself.

    Crushing on someone at work usually means that you are not socializing outside of work enough

  10. #9
    But if he is really shy which im sure that exist in guys maybe hes scared to give the greenlight . Didnt think i would feel so bad just for havibg a crush on someone at work. Would it still be bad to give him the christmas card ? I already have it ready all it says is happy holidays im giving cards to everyone

  11. #10

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    I wonder.... what happened?! Did you give him the card? What was the result? I found this thread because I am planning te same. He looks shy also but did ask me for my name when we ran into one another alone. Most of the time I see him where he sells lunch tickets, so I have to be the one to think of small talk (except for the time when he caught me by surprise and asked my name when we were alone, and I rushed out of there because I didnít feel pretty that day, it was raining, lol). Iím thinking about giving him a greeting card and since heís a temporary employee, give him my email with the excuse that Iíll keep him posted about permanent jobs. Bwahaha. But after reading this thread, it seems like most people disapprove of giving any card at all! Thatís why Iím dreadfully curious about what happened!!

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