Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 60

Thread: I fell in love with a heroin addict. Will she ever wake up?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    3,033
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by aaforever
    Talking did nothing, holding her feet to the fire did nothing, letting her do what she wanted to did nothing. I tried everything. It was hopeless from the start.
    I'm glad you understand this now. Let it all sink in. Don't backtrack even though you miss her. I second getting yourself checked for STDs. It's good practice anyway.

    I think you should also look into help uncovering why you felt the need to sit anyone down and explain the basics of life. In a relationship sense, this makes no sense. Wouldn't you want a partner that's on the same page as you or someone you can be with on equal terms? Why stoop so low or drag yourself down so far having to explain the basics?

  2. #22
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    53
    Posts
    37,442
    Gender
    Female
    Breaking addiction is only successful when youíre doing it for yourself not for someone else.

  3. #23
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    37
    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I'm glad you understand this now. Let it all sink in. Don't backtrack even though you miss her. I second getting yourself checked for STDs. It's good practice anyway.

    I think you should also look into help uncovering why you felt the need to sit anyone down and explain the basics of life. In a relationship sense, this makes no sense. Wouldn't you want a partner that's on the same page as you or someone you can be with on equal terms? Why stoop so low or drag yourself down so far having to explain the basics?
    Thanks Rose. Yes, will get tested. I'd love a partner whose on the same page but for some reason I never come across anyone who has their life together. There always seems to be a substance issue, mental illness or maturity issue. I think I just waste too much time hanging on to the wrong people that the good ones pass me by. New years resolution is to not let anyone in my life with this type of baggage. I cant afford it anymore.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    13,410
    Originally Posted by aaforever
    Thanks Rose. Yes, will get tested. I'd love a partner whose on the same page but for some reason I never come across anyone who has their life together. There always seems to be a substance issue, mental illness or maturity issue. I think I just waste too much time hanging on to the wrong people that the good ones pass me by. New years resolution is to not let anyone in my life with this type of baggage. I cant afford it anymore.
    Another resolution should be exploring why you find damaged and broken people attractive. Especially if this keeps happening over and over.

    The events you described in your OP would have most people running in the opposite direction, yet you charged in full steam ahead. Yes, you said you wanted her to stop the drug use and unhealthy behaviors but when she didn't you dug your heels even deeper.

    Definitely therapy-worthy IMO.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Bronze Member Viceroy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    197
    Wow , that was a real sad read . She sounds like a real piece of work . I disagree with her , yes youíve had some angry issues but I donít think you were controlling at all . I think you were patient and completely under appreciated by this woman , wow !!!

    If you believe in Karma , youíve truly done good by her, itís unfortunate sheís gotta be an ass about the whole thing and throw the relationship away .

    I think the best thing for you is to really focus on moving on , find someone else and be happy . As for fear of her slipping back , I would try to not worry about it . Youíve done all you can , people need to take responsibility for their own actions and face the consequences .

  7. #26
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    The emerald city
    Posts
    1,137
    Gender
    Male
    I suggest you get involved in some new activities which don't usually attract people with substance abuse habits.

    Probably physical activities such as hiking, or sailing, or the like would work.

    Apart from keeping you busy, you never know when you might meet someone interesting.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    37,655
    Gender
    Male
    C'mon. The chances that all you meet are IV heroin addicts is less than winning the lotto. You are willfully and deliberately associating with and seeking them out. Either because you have drug, addiction or mental health problems yourself or you just want people who are easy, broken and garbage you can toss out. Be honest with yourself and stop using people who use people. Get out of the dumpster looking for easy sex.
    Originally Posted by aaforever
    I never come across anyone who has their life together. There always seems to be a substance issue, mental illness or maturity issue.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    1,651
    Gender
    Female
    Wiseman: The amount of people who are sufferers are more common than you think. The people that get hired on at my company, more likely than not, have an addiction issue, mental health issue, or both. The problem as of now is huge. People I went to school with, coworkers, and some of our friends are drug addicted, committed suicide, are living on the streets running from the law, etc. At one time they were hard working people with good paying jobs, kids, married, owned a house, making a decent living. It seems it's happening at such a rate, neighborhoods are decapitated from druggies, gangs. 10 years ago my neighbourhood was a nice place. Now I want to get the f out of here. The drug and mental health issues are so overwhelming, the system can no longer deal with it...the damn is ready to burst. So the OP is not far off on that comment.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    6,359
    Once again, Smackie is correct.

    I think anywhere you go in this world, you will find that the numbers have drastically increased in the number of people addicted and the number of mental illnesses.

    But it's a symptoms of a world that's gone wrong and and getting worse and worse.
    People go astray for many reasons. Most times, they too are overwhelmed and are looking for an escape, even if it's a chemical one.
    They are not necessarily "bad" people, they are lost people who need help.

    But the average person cannot help them. You cannot love an addict enough to cure them. They need professional help for many many months and rehab, even then the chances of relapse is still quite huge as the drugs now a days are extremely difficult to get off of and stay off of for good.

    The bottom line is, only those who are going through these addictions can make the choice to save themselves.
    And it is heartbreaking how many are falling into addiction and mental health issues. Our world is becoming too difficult for people to cope with.
    I wish there were silver linings, but it's hard to see them right now.
    I think many communities are experiencing similar.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    37,655
    Gender
    Male
    Nonsense. If you think there are more heroin addicts than sober people you are watching way too many reality tv shows or hanging out in too many seedy places. Birds of a feather. No one in their right mind would date an IV heroin addict unless they use drugs themselves. So no. Dating heroin addicts is not just another option that can't be avoided..
    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Wiseman: So the OP is not far off on that comment.
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 12-24-2019 at 07:04 AM.

Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 123456 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •