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Thread: Parental Stress

  1. #21
    Bronze Member Leah33's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Unfortunately passing her around between siblings is a short term measure for a long term problem. She clearly has signs of cognitive issues and needs more help. If she has social security and medicare there is a lot more you can do. If she is indigent you can apply for medicaid. You need to stop guessing and passing her around and get a permanent solution because she is not suddenly going to become wealthy and self-sufficient.

    It would be worth your while to be informed through social workers and an elder care attorney. Keep in mind living with someone over 65 and not attending to their needs or getting angry at them, wishing them the worst etc them can be construed as elder abuse. So does withholding whatever care she should be getting or not handling their finances in a manner that benefits them. Be careful ..
    Thanks Wiseman2.

    I became angry because she recently stole money from my purse.

    My sister is an attorney. But maybe an outside party would be more appropriate.

    I rather not go into all the logistics of our mother-daughter relationship, and while I’ve not always handled things correctly, it is far from elder abuse. I’m not sure what you mean by “withholding care” and "not handing her finances properly” when she already has access to all those things.

    Still, I’m going to talk it over with my sister more, to see if we can come up with a better solution.

    I know my mother is unhappy with her life, she has been for what seems the past couple of decades, I’m just not sure what the answer is. I have to take care of my mental health too.

  2. #22
    Bronze Member Leah33's Avatar
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    I briefly chatted with my sister the other day through text and explained the missing money and mail and that we have to come up with a better solution as this is unhealthy for me. She said she'd call me next week.

    I'ma going to keep poking her.

  3. #23
    Bronze Member Leah33's Avatar
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    So just want to update this...

    Just talking out loud.

    I come to find out my sister is recovering from a minor cosmetic procedure.

    How annoying. I told her I was just diagnosed with PTSD, I had money stolen from me by our mother, and she gets a cosmetic procedure. What the hell?

    I think it is me to be the one to go and my Mom can stay in the apartment where she'll be cared for by my brother and supported financially by all her children.

    I just need to get through the next 6 months under the same roof as her. I think I can manage as I will be in a specialized 6-month therapy program for PTSD.

    So, just need to keep working towards my goal.

  4. #24
    Bronze Member Leah33's Avatar
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    The therapy program that I've been attending has been really helpful so far.

    I'm finding keeping the peace with my Mom has been doing wonders by just sharing silly and pleasant things with her here and there. She even took it upon herself to find part-time work which I am really proud of her for. It also allows me the space to focus on my stuff. So far so good.

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  6. #25
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    Re-think, in your heart and mind, without getting emotional and focussing not on money stealing that is she doing the right thing, has she always done things which were not clear to you at that time but later on you understood the rationale of it very well?

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Leah33
    So just want to update this...

    Just talking out loud.

    I come to find out my sister is recovering from a minor cosmetic procedure.

    How annoying. I told her I was just diagnosed with PTSD, I had money stolen from me by our mother, and she gets a cosmetic procedure. What the hell?

    I think it is me to be the one to go and my Mom can stay in the apartment where she'll be cared for by my brother and supported financially by all her children.

    I just need to get through the next 6 months under the same roof as her. I think I can manage as I will be in a specialized 6-month therapy program for PTSD.

    So, just need to keep working towards my goal.
    I think you need to lay off your sister.
    There was no way for her to have anticipated that you would be recently diagnosed with something in regards to your mental health. Likely, she scheduled this procedure some time ago and its unfair of you to hold that against her. And even if she knew, coping and recovery is *your* responsibility, not hers in any way.

    If you want to move out, then move out.

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