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Thread: How far should you go to apologize??

  1. #1
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    How far should you go to apologize??

    I was seeing someone for a couple months and we broke up. It was both our faults ... just a bad mix. We got into an argument and I walked out. I regret not trying to talk it out but I was completely unable to cope with the things that were said, I thought it was too late for reconciliation. I probably did the right thing getting out.
    I was very up front about my issues and he said he could deal with anything I threw at him. In the end he just threw it all back in my face.
    I'm not angry and I forgive him for that. It would be nice if he apologized but he's just washed his hands of it. I have tried to apologize for my part but he will not return my messages. I don't even know if he read them. I know it's probably better to leave it but I just want to smooth it over. I have no hard feelings or ill will. He's a good person, and he was so good to me (most of the time) he's just not the right one for me.
    Is my obsession with apologizing just to satisfy my ego? I do care and want him to be happy. Maybe I'm uncomfortable with his indifference. Should I just leave it? If he can't forgive then that's his cross to bear. I just think it would be healing for both of us (me) to talk it out.

    Another reason is that I learned something very valuable for the relationship and I am very grateful to have met him. He changed my life. I want him to know that.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    After only 8 weeks washing your hands of this is the best thing to do. Block and delete him. Do not chase, etc. It's over and for the better because who argues at 8 weeks? It just wasn't working, let it go.
    Originally Posted by LadyCaCa
    I was seeing someone for a couple months. It would be nice if he apologized but he's just washed his hands of it.

  3. #3
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Why working yourself to a restraining order. Leave it alone and forget it.

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    It's best to leave him be. Create a distance. My and my bf also had horrible fight and although I apologised for my part, he also preferred to wash his hands.
    He said it was best to leave it. I agreed.
    It gets better. Don't thank him for anything. Don't tell him how much your time together meant to you. Nothing. Pointless.
    Soon you will feel better. Best revenge is to move forward and wish him well ( in your mind ) without announcement.
    Stay strong

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Why working yourself to a restraining order. Leave it alone and forget it.
    Totally agree.

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    Originally Posted by irka000
    Best revenge is to move forward and wish him well ( in your mind ) without announcement.
    Stay strong
    You are totally right. I don't want revenge at all.... but I know what you mean.
    I immediately extended the olive branch, if he won't accept it then that's his choice. Sucks but that's life.
    Thanks

  8. #7
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    I think you should let it be. You done everything you can.

    Take away the positive and move forward.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by LadyCaCa
    I know it's probably better to leave it
    You say you walked out on him.

    Sounds like he has chosen to go no contact, and sees your attempts to "talk it out" as breadcrumbs.

    At the risk of sounding harsh, you are being selfish.

    Leave it alone.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    This is all about you, not him. You think it'll fix something in you that you feel needs fixing. Let it go, or you will end up with that restraining order against you. You may see it as smoothing things over, he may see you as a total pain in the butt who wont leave him alone. Not cool.

    8 weeks does not a long term relationship make. You've apologized, so let it go.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LadyCaCa
    I was very up front about my issues and he said he could deal with anything I threw at him. In the end he just threw it all back in my face.
    I'd be wary of someone who promises grandiose ideas saying that he/she can "deal with anything". It means nothing until it's proven so try not to hang onto empty/unproven promises like this especially two months into a new relationship. It's ok to hope. It's human and you're human. Maybe you were looking for assurances early on - don't do that. Let his actions do the talking and wait for it. Take it easy and let this guy go. If he's willing to make you an option, he's not worth it.

    If you have any issues you feel worth mentioning, it's up to you. Don't hide them in dating and don't cow down into a corner after this experience either. You continue being exactly as you are - honest and upfront and don't settle for anything less either.

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