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Thread: 50 Yo/ Male with 31 Yo/ female

  1. #31
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Said the 50% of divorced people in North America.

    Uhm... You won't hurt him. He'll just jump back online and find another desperate dater who is willing to overlook her own needs and desires to settle until she can't stand what she settled for any longer.

    Its his dating M.O. afterall.

    At this point the age difference is the least of your worries... You need to look at the bigger picture if you want to protect YOUR heart. He's a seasoned single man who will just skip to the next profile if you don't play his game so I'd not worry about hurting him and be more cognizant about hurting yourself by continuing on with him.
    I agree.

    Don't get your choice OP.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Practically speaking, sexually, you are reaching the peak of your libido and he now on the back side of his.

    Are you ready for that?

    Just wait until he is 75 and you're still with urges at 55.

    Do you think that works for you?

  3. #33
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    With a 20 year age difference, you'll eventually take care of a sick old man. I saw this with my maternal grandfather and his younger wife long ago. They had a 20 year age gap, too. He was a walking pharmacy, took a ton of Rx pills and she had to play his nursemaid. Long story shorter, she eventually burned out and left him.

    Think of your future.

  4. #34
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Originally Posted by Tinydance
    I actually don't think the age gap is a big problem as long as people have genuine connection and are on the same level mentally. Personally I would prefer a more mature man.
    I am asking this genuinely and not as a criticism. What would a so much "more mature man" practically bring to the table for the OP? What advantage would he hold in comparison to a 35-40 year old man? She is not some 20 year old where her peers may be still maturing. I have trouble imagining how a 50 year old man would theoretically be better than let's say a 35-45 year old man for women in their 30s in terms of practical considerations of "maturity" whether it's mental or physical.

    Since we are talking about people past 30, physically there is no advantage and mentally, it is my impression that most people are mostly done with "maturing" relationshipwise by 40. Maybe some people in their 50s could shed some light into this but I have trouble imagining that the mental maturity of a guy regarding interacting with the opposite sex changes dramatically to the better past the age of 40. In fact the 50 year old in the OP's story sounds like he is mentally stuck in his 20s.

    I very recently had a male colleague of mine dropping dead (heart-attack) at the age of 68. His wife was 15 years younger so she is now a widow at 53. In my opinion, ending up a widow at a young age CAN be a big problem. Having children with a 50 year old man CAN become a big problem. Ending up being someone's nurse at 50 CAN be a big problem. Other than the fact that women tend to be conditioned by societies to be carers and settle for big age gaps, I just don't get how a big age gap is not considered by women as a serious practical risk when looking for a life partner.


  6. #35
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Everyone is REALLY into anyone only 8 weeks in. You barely know each other, this is just the thrill of novelty.
    Originally Posted by Shylight
    I can tell the guy is REALLY into me, and I dont want to hurt him

  7. #36
    Bronze Member Shylight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Everyone is REALLY into anyone only 8 weeks in. You barely know each other, this is just the thrill of novelty.
    Wow. Your right

  8. #37
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    You are in love with him. Understandable, it only takes two months.

    Most men don't want to get married, they want things to stay the same. Many eventually follow the woman's lead on this. Just make sure he loves you a lot, or even more than you love him. He who is young and beautiful or loves less often has more power in the relationship.

    You might not like the same music - so listen to your own stuff alone. One of you may be mistaken for the child, lol - if you can laugh it off, it's not a problem. Minor problems.

    Real compatibility requires a few things:

    - Mutual love - goes without saying.

    - Both people should be sane - the saner, the better.

    - Both people should have a minimum of problems.

    - Both people should have a good attitude - the more positive the people are, the better.

    Love does not know age.

    However - Is a 19 year age difference too much? It depends - primarily on your attitude about it. Since you are asking the question, it probably bothers you, and that's not good.

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