Am I overreacting for breaking up with my boyfriend for contacting his ex?

So I just caught my boyfriend of 4 months texting his ex. Just to give you a little background story, me and him met over the summer while his ex was together but he claimed he had fallen out of love. He told me about 4/5 months into their relationship he felt that he looked at her as more of a close friend rather than a girlfriend. They were together for 8 months and that was his first real relationship. He began to really like me (and i really liked him as well) and decided it was time to leave her and we started officially dating. Everything was all fine and dandy at first, I would also ask if he was confident in the decision he made and he had no problem letting me know that he felt that he made the right decision. He even screenshot to

show me that he blocked her. Well about a month into our relationship, I catch him texting her. I look through the thread and see that it’s mostly friendly conversation/banter but Im very upset that he still felt the need to contact his ex after he said he wouldn’t and after claiming that he blocked her. He apologizes to me and swears that it will never happen again and I forgive him. He said that he wouldn’t contact her again. Well last night when I’m over his house, he steps away to go to the kitchen and I see his ex text him. So I unlock his phone and scroll through the thread and see that they were talking earlier that day. It was just a friendly conversation (she was telling him how she thought egg nog was nasty) but this time I am honestly blown away because I thought he would never text her again. I immediately confront him about it and he admits that he contacted her last week to congratulate her on graduating college and that was it. I wanted to be understanding about this but why would she be texting him to carry on a conversation a week later if he JUST congratulated her? When I looked through the thread, it was total of maybe 8 texts exchanged between the two and the thread started out with her talking about disliking egg nog. He said that he didn’t contact her after he congratulated her after her graduation but why would she randomly start a conversation with you about disliking egg nog? I know it seems petty but I am reading between the lines.

He attempts to apologize profusely after this and I just don’t know what to say. Did you really have to go out of your way to UNBLOCK and congratulate your ex girlfriend on graduating?

I storm out of his house and he ends up coming to my home to apologize. He tells me how he understands that he’s ruined my trust and he insisted that he did not want to be romantically involved with his ex, he said that he would like to be her friend because of the mental connection they had while they were together. The same mental connection he said him and I had. I just can’t get pass this and I don’t believe I will ever be able to fully trust him again. Even though most of what I saw was innocent, I can’t get over the fact that he was contacting the ex that he said he would stop talking to/block behind my back. It’s even worse because they just stopped dating in July.

What should I do about this situation? Am I overreacting in this situation?

The solution is simple.

Don’t date or hang out with another girls boyfriend.

He was with her for 4 months when he started hanging out with you and interestingly he is now chatting to her after 4 months with you.

He clearly gets bored at around that time which is a normal time for the honeymoon phase to end.

He is not interested in his ex, he is also not interested in you.

He just likes the excitement of someone new and shiny. His ex is currently providing him that attention but he she is not your competition. The unknown girls out there that he has yet to meet are.

Don’t be cranky at her. And don’t be her in another 4 months.

Sorry to hear this. After 16 weeks of dating it's good you found out she isn't an ex and that you didn't want to continue to cheat with him. Block and delete him from all social media and messaging apps, Don't date men in relationships/cheaters.

I just caught my boyfriend of 4 months texting his ex. Just to give you a little background story, me and him met over the summer while his ex was together but he claimed he had fallen out of love.

Next time don't get involved with someone taken.

So you cheated with him on her, and now the reverse. Honestly, what did you expect. Does't feel good when someone does it to you, right.

Do you usually go through people's phones?

You also need ti check your moral compass. It sounds way off.

He doesn't know who or what he wants so he is just diving in the sweetie tin and having fun on all ends .

Your move .......

Sorry but not much sympathy because while he was in a relationship with his ex, he was also dating you and messaging you behind her back. Now he's doing it to you. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to have much integrity but you don't either.

This started badly - with him cheating emotionally, and lining up a replacement (you) - and now it is ending badly.

Past actions are a good predictor of future ones.

As others have said, communicating with a taken person, romantically, is ethically wrong. You're just another naive girl who believes a player's lines about how he's not happy with his gf. A mature, decent man ends one relationship before beginning another.

He's a juggler. He likes to keep a lot of balls in the air. If he cared about you, he wouldn't risk your relationship by going behind your back to text an ex. This is how he likes to lead his smarmy life, and you didn't end it the first time you found this out, so why should he stop? He knows you didn't walk away, so it wasn't a dealbreaker for you.

Work on improving your own dating rules and spotting red flags for better success in the future.

So I unlock his phone and scroll

Work on your ability to weed out sweet talking turds so that you are more confident and for being more confident you don't need to snoop like you did on this "turd" because you trust him.

Stop dating people who you don't trust. All of this looking through his private messages behavior after only dating a few months isn't healthy. Yes, you should stay broken up. He was in the wrong, but so were you, and clearly the needed foundation for a healthy relationship was not there.

he said that he would like to be her friend because of the mental connection they had while they were together.

This is not appropriate regardless of how you both started your romance. For your own mental health and personal wellbeing please be smarter than this. At worst he's a player and at best, he's just a child. Take stock of all your emotions and use your anger towards something more constructive such as thinking carefully about your own life and where you want to be, the type of person you wish to be or your goals you wish to accomplish. Use it like starter fluid for more useful things in life. Don't continue down this path.