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Thread: She has me so confused

  1. #1
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    She has me so confused

    I’ve been seeing this girl and getting closer with her lately. In the last two months She’s invited me to go out with her and her sister on her birthday, hang out with her and her family at her house. She even asked me stay with her at her workplace (that her sister owns) to decorate with her and her sisters family for Christmas.

    I see her a lot, and recently she invited me to do a holiday thing with her family. We ended up hanging out at her sisters house till well after the family thing was over.

    I invited her to join my family and I for one of our family traditions for Christmas, and she changed her whole work schedule just so she could come.

    She even talks about things we will do “one day”, or things that I’ll get to do with her family one day.

    Today she texted me and wanted to know where we both stood in our “relationship”. After which she then told me that “Right now, I just consider you as a friend. I don’t want to jump into anything and I definitely don’t want you to think I’m leading you on.”

    Especially recently I though her and I had something, but I honestly don’t know anymore. I care about her a lot and that message has me messed up. The “right now” part especially confuses me. I don’t know if she was just trying to tell me we are just friends or if she isn’t ready yet.

  2. #2
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    She's trying to let you down gently. You are in the friendzone. Move onwards with your life. Cut contact with her till you are indifferent towards her.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Is this a different woman from this person in the thread you started here in July earlier this year? [Register to see the link]

    Do you ever ask these women out on a date?

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Is this a different woman from this person in the thread you started here in July earlier this year? [Register to see the link]

    Do you ever ask these women out on a date?
    It is the same woman, and I have asked her out on what I thought were dates.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jprobin72
    It is the same woman, and I have asked her out on what I thought were dates.
    I'm sorry to hear this. I agree with Ninja. She's not interested in dating you anymore. For whatever reason she seems to have gone cold. Would you know why? You've spent a lot of time with her. Her tone and choice of words leads me to believe she's seeing someone else or not completely emotionally available. You may be a toy or a rebound for her to pass the time.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    In the future, if someone messages you some major, important topic like this, ask them if they could discuss the subject in person. Texts can be misconstrued and often lack tone. Have a full discussion with her in person if you want to clarify with her what exactly she means. What do you mean you thought you two recently "had something." Have you never held her hand or kissed her? That's awfully slow moving, not making a move for two months, since you're interested in her romantically.

    If she's not interested in a romance with you, a friendship isn't going to work out since you have a crush on her. It will prevent you from bonding with a woman who actually wants to date you.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jprobin72
    It is the same woman, and I have asked her out on what I thought were dates.
    What did you think were dates? And did she accept?

    Asking her on a date would go something like "I've been wanting to see "X" movie/go to "X" restaurant. I would love to take you, would you like to go with me?" Not "want to grab some food?" or "want to hang out and watch a movie?"

  9. #8
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    I'm sorry. That sucks.

    I agree, you need to cut all contact or it will be too painful.

  10. #9
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    I don’t know - upon reading this I have to take her friendzone statement at face value because I wasn’t there to see the dynamic when you guys were hanging out. Just curious to hear OP’s take on why she might have felt the need to clarify their “relationship” with him?

  11. #10
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    Tell her you like her, romantically. So you can't do the 'friends' thing. Let her know that if she ever re-thinks things, give you a call.

    Be civil, not angry. A little sad is OK.

    Then walk away and cut contact.

    That means no Xmas or birthday messages etc. Give her the gift of missing you.

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