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Thread: She has me so confused

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I think she's rather smart for being a straight shooter. She's telling you now so there won't be any misunderstanding whatsoever.

    Either hang on as friends and see if friendship will develop into a relationship someday or call it quits now. End it diplomatically and tell her the truth. Tell her that you thought both of you could be more than friends because this is what you had expected and since she just wants to be friends, this will not work for you. Then, really mean it, ghost, block and delete permanently including social media.

    If you wish to take the time to hope for the friendship to transform into a relationship, then agree with her, cultivate the friendship and remain patient.

    A lot of times, people plunge into a relationship without getting to know a person first which is worse IMHO. Then you realize you didn't know who this person was, didn't know their character well and breakup occurs. Better to take it slow and allow the friendship to flourish than have the 'haste makes waste' mindset.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn

    If you wish to take the time to hope for the friendship to transform into a relationship, then agree with her, cultivate the friendship and remain patient.
    The OP said in his July thread they have known each other since school; this has been going on for at least 8 months now.

    Hanging in there, after her announcement, is probably just going to cement him into the friendzone.

  3. #13
    Bronze Member WaywardKiwi's Avatar
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    Hey jprobin,

    I can really relate to your story here and in your previous post. In fact, my first posts on this forum found me in a not dissimilar scenario. Im not going to go into an analysis of her actions or yours, or what the true nature of this thing is. Instead, my advice is simple; walk away. This tortuous frame of mind, these mental gymnastics, the over analysis of every invitation; you lose something of yourself in them in my experience. When i told my crush that I wasn't ok with being just friends, it was liberating and took back that part of my mind. It hurt, dont get me wrong, and I still returned to those thoughts sometimes, but i felt stronger and more confident because I had made a decision that I deserved what I wanted, and a year later I met a wonderful woman who I am with now. Back yourself.

    Good luck,

    T

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RayRay63
    The OP said in his July thread they have known each other since school; this has been going on for at least 8 months now.

    Hanging in there, after her announcement, is probably just going to cement him into the friendzone.
    I didn't know about his July thread. Thank you for mentioning it, RayRay63. Well then, I agree, it's best to exit the "friendship" and move on.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    The "just friends" line means you are in the friend's zone and probably stuck there for life. I would date other women if you want a girlfriend.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You never asked her out so of course you're just friends. If you want to date someone you have to go on dates. Sitting in the passenger seat being invited and asked all the time sounds like you only wanted to be just friends. And she clearly picked up on that.
    Originally Posted by jprobin72
    -She’s invited me
    -She even asked me
    -she invited me
    She then told me that “Right now, I just consider you as a friend. I don’t want to jump into anything and I definitely don’t want you to think I’m leading you on.”

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