Should I go no contact

I'm not exactly sure what to do. I've been dating a girl now for a few months. Things went well at first but then she grew to be distant. Long story short at first we both wanted something serious but later on she told me she just wanted things to be casual. I asked her if she is still interested in me romantically and she said yes but that she wants no commitment or expectations right now and potentially in the future things could be different. She just wants things to play out as they will. She has been acting nice but distant, the vibe is totally off from where it was before. I'm really into this girl and it's been very hard on me. I'm wondering if I should just drop this girl or hang on and keep hoping things will potentially change. I know what I wrote is quite vague but I didn't want to bother anyone with a long essay. Any insight would be appreciated. Thank you very much.

Dont put your life on hold for anyone. Let this one go, and in due time find another girl who is into you. This girl is not into you.

Yes, No Contact would be best. It will help you move past your feelings for her.

As a woman, I can tell you we don't generally tell a guy we just want to keep things causal when we're really into him. We wouldn't risk another girl snapping him up. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, she's not interested in dating you so it is going to be best to let go and move on from her.

I agree with others. NC (no contact) is best. No sense hanging onto hope. She's not interested so take a hint. It's time to move on.

Dont put your life on hold for anyone. Let this one go, and in due time find another girl who is into you. This girl is not into you.

- yup. It's telling me my response it too short. Humf!

Yes, No Contact would be best. It will help you move past your feelings for her.

 

As a woman, I can tell you we don't generally tell a guy we just want to keep things causal when we're really into him. We wouldn't risk another girl snapping him up. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, she's not interested in dating you so it is going to be best to let go and move on from her.

I completely agree with this.

She's not interested. It should have stopped right there and you should have taken the hint. Unfortunately she's not interested in seeing you and doesn't think of you in the same way (that you may have thought earlier). Something about you might have turned her off. Don't take this personally. It happens... a lot. To everyone. You deserve to find happiness with someone who values you and isn't inconsistent.

If you hang around her "casually" you are in the friendzone*, and that just holds you back from meeting someone better.

[* I have no idea if her idea of a "casual" thing includes sex; but friends with benefits that she can discard in the blink of an eye is still just friendzone stuff.

If you are there, hoping for something more to develop, it will be even more hurtful when she falls in love with Mr New Guy and you get the chop chop.]

Thanks everyone for the advice. it Was hard to hear of course but I think it helped. She actually called me today and I decided I wasn’t going to pick up or contact her. I’m slowly getting over her and so talking to her might just bring me back down which is something I really don’t want.

Thanks everyone for the advice. it Was hard to hear of course but I think it helped. She actually called me today and I decided I wasn’t going to pick up or contact her. I’m slowly getting over her and so talking to her might just bring me back down which is something I really don’t want.

Good job. I'd also remember or remind myself what she said about wanting something casual. If you're not in that mind frame (and prefer something more serious) it's really all moot. You can wish her well from the bottom of your heart in private (in your head) and say goodbye to the idea of her.

Thanks everyone for the advice. it Was hard to hear of course but I think it helped. She actually called me today and I decided I wasn’t going to pick up or contact her. I’m slowly getting over her and so talking to her might just bring me back down which is something I really don’t want.

You really have to stick to no contact, breaking it undoes the good work.

Depending on who you read/listen to, though, some say block/delete them so there is zero contact, and make sure you get zero information.

Others say do not initiate contact, but be polite to them if they do - and shut it down quickly & nicely. If she starts with the "can't we be friends" stuff, say no, you don't see her that way.

If she changes her mind she'll find you and tell you.

Either way, you need to take some self improvement steps now to help you heal from this, and keep yourself busy.

If you aren't a member of a gym, it's a good time to join one!

She's not interested...end of story.

She might not be sure, and she might want to keep you on the back burner, "just in case," but the bottom line is what it is...she's just not into you. Maybe she's struggling with herself because you hit all the check-boxes on paper, but in real life, it's just not working. I don't know. Her behavior suggests that in reality, she's just not into you. She wouldn't be back peddling and tossing you crumbs if you were real and long-term for her.

I agree on the no contact. No "just friends" and no being okay with "casual." I mean, if you're fine being the guy on the side when the mood strikes her, cool beans, but you're not okay with that, and for that reason, you should not continue doing this toe-dipping and eagerly waiting on the side until she decides to give you some attention.

It's really up to you, and "the ball is in your court" to decide how to proceed, and the answer is "no." You can't force her to love you. Accept the reality for what it is and move on. I know it hurts.

I read your followup, and you ignored her outreach, and I'm glad you've gathered the strength to do so. She's just not into you...remember that.

So I ended up responding to her but very brief without any follow up questions. She asked me if I was well, I told her I’m well. She asked if I was free next week and I told her I might be. Then she proceeded to tell me she misses me. At this point even if she really is into me it’d be very hard to go back. I’m much better now and I feel good and I don’t really want to mess that up. It hurts but not as much as before.

Next time shut it down (always politely) with your first response, no text chains.

And no, you are not free next week, you are busy, because you are not interested in this friendzone backburner rubbish.

You don't need to say all of that though, "I'm a bit busy then. Bye" is sufficient.

Don't you want your own one-on-one gf rather than just being in her orbit but nowhere?

She asked if I was free next week and I told her I might be. Then she proceeded to tell me she misses me.