Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 22 of 22

Thread: Iím changing, but itís to late.

  1. #21
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Posts
    22
    This week has been soooo good. Especially yesterday. Iíve thrown myself into work doing more overtime , getting up earlier and working later into the night. Yesterday I was active on dating apps matching people and talking. It felt really good and I was barely thinking of her. Woke up this morning and wasnít checking my phone to see when she was online. GO ME!

    Well, she phoned this morning and itís set me back. Sheíd phoned multiple times this week. Video chats with my daughter etcetera. Iíve been calm, keeping it about my daughter and just felt so much happier. Sheís even phoned and Iíve forgot to get back to her. Thatís no like me! But this morning she phoned as I was brushing my teeth and just wanted to tell me about our child at nursery on the drop off. It was cute what she said. Anyway, we were sorting logistics out and she stated how her mum was flapping because I hadnít got back to her about having Wednesday off, as she normally picks her up because my ex works late but couldnít this week. My ex said I stuck up for you, and said ďbut can you fault himĒ
    Sheís got a point, and I always knew sheíd fight my corner. Iím literally a really good father and I have my child consistently as well as pay maintenance (not bragging, this is NORMAL. Healthy behaviour and anything less is uncalled for) but it has been tough for me this last year watching my family move on from me and some other guy come into their lifeís. I lost everything and fully deserved too. Anyway she told me I never loved her. Of course I did I said. It didnít get heated but I lost my cool and was about to become too emotional and I just stopped the convo there.

    All the way to work I was flustered again, kicking myself I lost some of the self control I had been building. She still makes me emotional and I think that is normal.

    Starting again from now. And of course I loved you ya sausage. I always will.

  2. #22
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Posts
    22
    Iíve kinda had a productive weekend, ever though we never left the house. The wether has been dreadful, so weíve been doing fun activities inside.

    Friday I had the night off. First for a really long time. M (my ex) said she would have her overnight Friday because Iíve helped out a lot on her with our girl. Shoulda gone out right? ING TONSILLITIS! Completely wiped me out. Strange how M said she had it on Friday when we had our conversation. She sounded poorly. Anyway, we spoke for a while on my way home from work. General chit chat and a few jokes. The phone cut off so I didnít ring back.
    I got home and plated up my food that had been cooking in the slow cooker, sat down to eat and she called back asking if I could get P (our daughter.) AWKWARD. I was actually eating my tea. It was only a request to pick her up from nursery and take her home. I obliged.

    M was still in bed when I got round with P. She looked poorly I really felt for her. Stayed for a little while and helped with my daughter requests...sheís EXTREMELY demanding LOL. Before I left I hugged M and gave her a big kiss on the forehead. I miss doing that.

    Friday was chill for me... I woke up sweating Saturday morning due to the infection.
    I went to pick P up for Mís house. She had took the day off as she wasnít feeling well. I stayed for a while even though her boyfriend was there. We had a brew and exchanged some words. Normally that would my day up big time. But it didnít. I left with P and went home and baked and cooked lovely food. Guess itís acceptance?

    I had a coaching call on Saturday night with a YouTube coach I had been following.
    Heís one of the good ones. I was super nervous and it was strange hearing his voice speaking to me rather that millions of others. Anyway, I told him my story. Went on for about half an hour whilst he ďtook notesĒ.

    He said Iím going to be honest with you, sheís probably never coming back. SHOCKER HAHA. I knew my chances were slim to none so it didnít bother me, nothing new learned there. My past with her is ed up he said. TRUE DAT.
    He did say I was doing everyone right. I canít really explain to people who havenít met me, but I was extremely angry before. Now Iíve relaxed more since my breakup, everythingís going good. Iím changing and Iím noticing and so are others.

    OF COURSE I still love her and miss her. But Iím okay with things now. Like, what will be will be?
    He said keep light flirting with her, and be happy and positive. I asked why she would always call me on her days off, or alone time without him and use my daughter as a indirect direct approach to talk. He said ďshe hasnít fully let goĒ.

    Dayummmm. I kinda new but itís nice to hear from a ďbehavioural analystĒ

    I guess she hasnít. Maybe I have more than her now, but itís been the loneliness driving me to despair? She does have someone to take from after all, so she would hurt less. If she didnít have him she would call me all the time. I might have even gotten an opportunity from that but I guess it wouldnít be right. My changes are legit though.

    I feel in a good position tbh. All this time Iím hurting, and been feeling like Iím forgotten. How silly of me. You donít forget 8 years.

    I donít think she will be back ever really. Iíll have a better shot when sheís single, but I may not care then. I already donít care as much as before. But I care for her more than before, if that makes sense? I just know that Iím giving it my best chance and itís no skin from my nose because Iím evolving regardless.

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •