Boyfriend is acting weird with me

Okay so I went to my boyfriends friends house with him last night for a gathering, I didn’t really know anyone and didn’t really want to go but I wanted to make the effort for him. In conversation we were talking about smoking and I said “I only smoke if I have too much to drink, he’d probably fall out with me if I smoked a cig” and I thought it was harmless, but he took it to heart because he just said he would be disappointed in me and that it was in front of all of his friends. I could tell at the time something was wrong so I kept asking if he was okay, and he said he was fine. The night went on and he seemed fine, put his arms round me and stuff then as soon as we left the house and I drove home he started arguing with me about it, tried to get out the car whilst i was driving I had to pull over and tell him to stop. In the morning he hugged me and afternoon i’d Left for work he sent me a text saying sorry for my actions and words and asked if I wanted to go for dinner tonight, I said i’d Think about it throughout the day but I never said no. He then text me saying “we’re having a Chinese takeaway tonight” I was like okay? So I took it we wasn’t going out anywhere, and I know this is petty, but he usually sends me 3 heart emojis but he was only sending me “xxx” and if I sent that back too he’d send nothing. I just don’t know what I can do? Or what to think? Am I in the wrong?

You sound very young. You need to have a conversation with him about why he got upset. Do you want him dictating to you what you can do? If not, let him know about it. Don't worry about the heart emojis. Hash this out in person.

This is a fairly new relationship with an awful lot of conflict early on. He declines sex, he hurts your feelings because he doesn't watch the videos you post online and now he's upset because you said you might smoke and he's not sending heart emojis (!).

Do you usually have a lot of conflict in your relationships?

I think you should pay attention to your feelings a lot more and don't put up with anyone who actively embarrasses you infront of others. His statement that he would be disappointed in you reads as condescending, rude and unnecessary. It's also stating the obvious. Really - how dumb does he make you out to be. Of course, he'd be disappointed. You'd be disappointed in yourself also, right? Do you have other examples where he's been patronizing towards you either in public or in private?

Don't ignore signs like this early on. If you don't feel comfortable around him, stick up for yourself and tell him that you dislike his tone or the way he came at you earlier. Keep it neutral and don't nitpick at him. Speak slowly and directly if he flares up and gets defensive. He sounds all over the map and inconsistent. If you feel he's willing to listen to you and treat you more as an equal in a relationship and doesn't second guess your decisions or the way you conduct yourself, continue seeing him. If he continues to undermine you or embarrass you unnecessarily for no other reason than to bully you in public or lord over you, let him go. I wouldn't pay attention to the emojis. Pay more attention to the way he treats you in private and in public. I think he's insecure and if you can speak about it as a couple - anything that's bothering either of you, it's better to have it out in the open.

One cigarette is not the end of days. He sounds like a control freak.........which is a mental illness.....which means he's not the catch of the day.

Op: Why are you so frequently having angsty feelings about your relationship? Clearly you are not very confident that he loves you so either you are very insecure to the point of being over bearing to him about it or you have good reason to be insecure because he doesn't show you that he values you. So, which one is it?

You're arguing while driving to the point of needing to pull over and you're worried about emojis? It's only been a few albeit quite conflicted months, you'll have to get to know each other better and decide if you want to continue with him.

I drove home he started arguing with me about it, tried to get out the car whilst i was driving I had to pull over and tell him to stop. he usually sends me 3 heart emojis but he was only sending me “xxx”

He's play mind games. He is still trying to punish you passive/aggressively for the night before. You need to stop feeling so guilty for his manipulative behavior. He makes you feel bad ON PURPOSE. He wants you do feel bad. Stop being in disbelief! your BF is a bad BF. He's a jerk, and abusive. Whatever is going on with him, whether it's mental illness or something a psychiatrist needs to address, it has nothing to do with you or what you do. You can't do anything to make him treat you better. You can forgive him, buy him a give, give him sex or whatever, it's not going to change him....not in the least. As long as you continue to date him, this behavior of his towards you will continue.

He sounds alittle scary and you need to end this.