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Thread: He broke up with because of money

  1. #1

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    He broke up with because of money

    After 2 years and a half , and after he proposed to me he broke up with me because he is not financially stable and he canít be in this commitment, i beg him not to leave even i told him that i will pay for for whatever he want but he told me he canít be with me anymore.. i need your opinion in this problem

  2. #2
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    I need to know more. Is this financial issue a new issue? If not when did you first know that he was concerned about finances? Are you financially stable? Why would you have to pay for whatever he wants - what does he need you to pay for? What does he do for work and what do you do for work? When is your wedding and were you planning a big wedding reception?

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    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    What would you like to see happen?

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    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    His reason is just a scapegoat. I suspect there are other reasons why. I'm sure in time you will find out.

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    You should not be willing to pay for everything. Think about your future, you want a partner who can participate financially.

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    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rawan
    After 2 years and a half , and after he proposed to me he broke up with me because he is not financially stable and he canít be in this commitment, i beg him not to leave even i told him that i will pay for for whatever he want but he told me he canít be with me anymore.. i need your opinion in this problem
    Money is just an excuse. It is not the real issue, which is probably another woman, or simply that he does not love you.

    Never beg somebody to stay with you, never try to bribe somebody to stay with you. It is desperate and unattractive and destroyed whatever respect he had for you.

    Learn to respect yourself and only give your time and emotional commitment to somebody who wants to be with you.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I'll go against the grain here. I think he actually did you a favor by breaking up. He's very considerate because he knows he can't give you a happy and fulfilled commitment if he doesn't have the means (i.e., money). You need to feel grateful that he called it quits now instead of later.

    You don't want to end up shouldering the majority if not all expenses; not just for a wedding or even a modest one but also monthly survival expenses after marriage! Think of the hardship and struggle he is preventing for you by breaking up with you now.

    Granted, he shouldn't have proposed in the first place. However, better to breakup now than later!

    If I were you, I'd never want to be with a man who will give me a hard life. I've witnessed enough of that growing up and the poor choice my mother made when she married my father. It's not fun being broke or living paycheck to paycheck or less than that or your having to work like a dog to support him all your life. Think of that nightmare!

    You deserve a great man who is a great provider and a man who will give you a smooth, very content life. Shoot for higher goals.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Cherylyn

    If I were you, I'd never want to be with a man who will give me a hard life. I've witnessed enough of that growing up and the poor choice my mother made when she married my father. It's not fun being broke or living paycheck to paycheck or less than that or your having to work like a dog to support him all your life. Think of that nightmare!

    You deserve a great man who is a great provider and a man who will give you a smooth, very content life. Shoot for higher goals.
    Why do you think he would give her a hard life?

    We donít know yet the background story.

    It could be a lack of communication re finances , income and expenditure , the sharing of that across two varying salaries? if the op reckons she can pay for anything he wants , maybe thatís the issue? Perhaps she earns more than him and he feels pressure to be the main provider because of general opinions like yours that he should be the provider??

    Itís a bit old fashioned donít you think?

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    Yes it's not upto the man to give the OP a financially great life. She's responsible for herself and needs to provide for herself first and foremost. If he's a lazy work shy bum then obviously that's no good either but if he works but isn't rich then that's a messed up judgement to make.

    Back to the OP I think, like most the others, it's just an excuse. Perhaps he no longer wants to get married, perhaps he's fallen out of love or perhaps he realises he can't offer oy what you want. Only he really knows for sure.

    I'd go no contact. Don't offer to pay for everything and never beg. In time the truth usually comes out but if I was you for now I'd concentrate on myself and my healing.

    Sorry this has happened..

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Why do you think he would give her a hard life?

    We donít know yet the background story.

    It could be a lack of communication re finances , income and expenditure , the sharing of that across two varying salaries? if the op reckons she can pay for anything he wants , maybe thatís the issue? Perhaps she earns more than him and he feels pressure to be the main provider because of general opinions like yours that he should be the provider??

    Itís a bit old fashioned donít you think?
    The guy admitted he's not financially stable. Those are the key words as "love don't pay the rent."

    Having the OP (wife) shoulder the burden for the entire household due to the husband not pulling his weight financially is a recipe for disaster.

    No one in their right mind enjoys a life of hardship and struggle. It doesn't sound like matrimonial bliss to me. It's time for a harsh reality check. No sense living in a dream world. Survival is hard.

    The guy did the OP a huge favor. Breaking up was a selfless act on his part. He was humble enough to admit that he doesn't have enough money to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle with her. Better to breakup now than realize what a mistake it was to marry. Divorce is legally messy not to mention expensive. (And, if there are kids, it gets even more complicated and costly.)

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