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Thread: I want my ex back even though he doesn't want to talk to me

  1. #31
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Hopefully you are trolling and not just posting the same thing over and over and over.
    Originally Posted by kirbycake342
    I just wanted to know if there is any way that I could get him back. If i stayed away from him for a while, etc.

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by kirbycake342
    I think nowadays it is a normal thing to meet online.
    Meeting online, sure. Conducting a relationship almost entirely online? No, it doesn't work. You can see that you two weren't the exception.

    He's lost interest in it. There's not much you can do but respect his wishes and leave him alone. It's time to get offline and meet guys in your area.

  3. #33
    Alright. Thank you guys for your messages. I will see what happens, I guess.. Maybe I will update you guys in a few weeks or months too.

  4. #34
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    I predict that it will be a tail of woe.

    I am sorry to say, I don't think you are listening.

    Oh you silly thing.

    Come back here when it it all turns to rubbish.

    We'll try to pick you back up.

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Do you think it's possible to force someone to want to be with you?

    Why are you so opposed to having an in person relationship? What are you afraid of?

  7. #36
    I meant I will let you guys know how I'm feeling in a few weeks or months, lol.

    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Do you think it's possible to force someone to want to be with you?

    Why are you so opposed to having an in person relationship? What are you afraid of?
    It was never about forcing. We had issues, I wanted it to work out so i worked on them. It was about not wanting to lose someone who is important to me and who I'm in love with. I'm not messaging him, I'm letting him be. That doesn't mean that I'm happy with it or wanted any of this.

  8. #37
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Why are you so opposed to having an in person relationship? What are you afraid of?
    As you "let him be," I'd channel some of the emotional energy you've been spending on him to exploring these two questions. I suspect you'll find a lot more stability, along with the sort of connection you really want, in going down that path than in hanging onto this one being the answer.

  9. #38
    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    As you "let him be," I'd channel some of the emotional energy you've been spending on him to exploring these two questions. I suspect you'll find a lot more stability, along with the sort of connection you really want, in going down that path than in hanging onto this one being the answer.
    I don't really know why I'm like this. I assume not really liking the things in my life is a big aspect in this (career wise, family pressure, etc). I found happiness and motivation with the relationship with him, I guess.

  10. #39
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    I do think you take this relationship seriously because you don't really understand what it means to be truly serious about someone.

    I don't say this to be an a$$hole OP. I say this to call attention to the level of denial you seem to have and your addiction to living in fantasy vs. reality.

    A serious relationship is someone that you have emotional, spiritual AND physical intimacy with. It's a relationship where you not only talk and text, but go on dates, do day to day activities and chill out together. It is IMPOSSIBLE to get to know someone truly intimately without face to face contact.

    I sense a fear of intimacy and being hurt... the way you very casually mention that every man you have met just wants a FWB or physical relationship so you have gravitated towards this online relationship so you can avoid the physical altogether... that isn't the solution to your problem OP.

    The solution is to dig deep and figure out why you feel as though you are a victim of being taken advantage of. Why you feel fear at meeting someone in person that might want physical intimacy with you. Why, even after months of talking to this guy, you STILL avoided being physical with him even after spending a full week together.

    Because here is the deal. If you were a high value woman with lots of self-esteem, not only would you set a boundary and stop chasing someone that clearly has no interest in being with you, but you would have set this boundary months ago when you didn't actually have a commitment from him to meet in person. Your begging, pleading and chasing has lowered your value in his eyes and he has likely lost all respect for you.... now he knows that he can do, say, and think whatever he wants and you will just continue to hang on.

    You have such a fear of being used physically... what about being used emotionally? You are letting this guy take full advantage of you emotionally... and use you to validate and soothe his own insecurities.

    I think you need to set your standards higher and believe that you deserve more than this today.

  11. #40
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    Originally Posted by kirbycake342
    I don't really know why I'm like this. I assume not really liking the things in my life is a big aspect in this (career wise, family pressure, etc). I found happiness and motivation with the relationship with him, I guess.
    It sounds like a lot of this was about escapism. You could distract yourself with this fantasy, because your current reality isn't where you want it to be.

    But you started to lose perspective somewhere along the way, and started treating this with much more seriousness than one should when they've never met the person on the other side of the screen. I realize you met once but your declarations of being in love are, in my opinion, based far more on that escapist fantasy than on the reality of the situation. It seems it's hard for you to acknowledge that this was unlikely to ever become the romance you hope for, because that doesn't line up with the fantasy you've been clinging on to for the last year.

    When you meet the right guy in your area, with whom you can develop a real relationship, you will wonder why you wasted so much time on some internet dude you met only one time. I promise.

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