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Thread: I want my ex back even though he doesn't want to talk to me

  1. #21
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    No, it isn't easy. But you can do it, one step at a time.

    The first step is applying no contact.

    This is the best thing to do for your own healing, and paradoxically, if there is a faint chance the ex might come back, it puts you in the best position for that to happen in a sustainable way.

    I suggest you read Zorba's posts #s 10 & 16 in the thread "Reverse psychology and the "Rebound" relationship" on this site.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's easier than cyber romances, never seeing each other and worrying all the time. It's easier than being chronically alone because you're chasing someone far away in distance and emotion.
    Originally Posted by kirbycake342
    But it's not easy.

  3. #23
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    OP, what does your own relationship history look like?

  4. #24
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It's easier than cyber romances, never seeing each other and worrying all the time. It's easier than being chronically alone because you're chasing someone far away in distance and emotion.
    I do worry that he's gonna meet someone else. Of course it's easier than having to see your ex 24/7. But I used to talk to him all the time, so it's hard not to have that anymore. Not having someone around you miss everyday and want back.

    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    OP, what does your own relationship history look like?
    I haven't had many relationships, because the guys I've met wanted a casual friends with benefits relationship while I'm not the type for that. I want something serious.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by kirbycake342
    I haven't had many relationships, because the guys I've met wanted a casual friends with benefits relationship while I'm not the type for that. I want something serious.
    That's why I wonder why you chose someone who lives so far away and that only met in person once. Surely you can see that the logistics were not conducive to a serious relationship?

  7. #26
    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    That's why I wonder why you chose someone who lives so far away and that only met in person once. Surely you can see that the logistics were not conducive to a serious relationship?
    I think nowadays it is a normal thing to meet online. What was in the way of meeting up was mainly my university. Of course, him being actually with me is much nicer than just on call or text or whatsoever. But the emotional connection with him was so strong that it wasn't a huge deal to get through the distance until we meet up. Like I also said, I was gonna plan the next meet up when I was flying home, looked for flights already and such. I'm like 100% sure that we would've met up regularly if he still wanted the relationship.

    I have two friends who have been dating for almost three years. In total they were together in the same city for maybe six months, because she went abroad for university and then he went abroad for university, but they made it work. And I think that's what describes a serious relationship and love - that you are willing to make it work, no matter how hard it can get. That is why I tried to fight for him for so long, because he still is worth to me.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You could have a real life real time real bf if you delete and block this guy. This was less than fwb it was a brief encounter that sadly you are romanticizing in your mind.

    If you want something serious you need to date real men in real life in real time and stop the predominantly cyber-romances that are mostly built up in your mind. "Serious relationships" are not built up on a one time vacation visit.

    Get out and meet people. Get on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting real life local single available men. If you don't want casual or fwb, then don't set the pace that way.
    Originally Posted by kirbycake342
    it's hard not to have that anymore. Not having someone around. the guys I've met wanted a casual friends with benefits relationship. I want something serious.

  9. #28
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Get out and meet people. Get on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting real life local single available men. If you don't want casual or fwb, then don't set the pace that way.
    The problem is that I want him. And not anyone else.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Then you will have a very lonely life by your own choice because the feeling is not mutual. Therapy could help you stop ruining your own happiness but that is your choice as well. Talk to a doctor about your problems they are beyond the scope of random people giving you sound advice.
    Originally Posted by kirbycake342
    The problem is that I want him. And not anyone else.

  11. #30
    I just wanted to know if there is any way that I could get him back. If i stayed away from him for a while, etc.

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