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Thread: Picking up my kid

  1. #51
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    I keep trying to walk away from this ...but hey ho

    Ask any parent here

    * would you let your child go with someone you cannot contact *

    just another in the 101 reasons why this is a bad idea ....
    No, and if I did I wouldn't consider myself a parent.

    Ms Pippy...I prefer green tea w/lemon.

  2. #52
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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    No, and if I did I wouldn't consider myself a parent.

    Ms Pippy...I prefer green tea w/lemon.
    Consider it done my lovely lovely darling xx

  3. #53
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    I keep trying to walk away from this ...but hey ho

    Ask any parent here

    * would you let your child go with someone you cannot contact *

    just another in the 101 reasons why this is a bad idea ....
    Never ever. Also of course they can be friends - they can do things together that do not involve having her take them to her house. You can go to a public place where the kids play and you can watch your kid play without interacting with her other than in the most impersonal way. You do not then need to interact with her child at all nor does she need to interact with yours. Better yet have her babysitter or friend or relative bring her child to a playdate at a public place.

  4. #54
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Never ever. Also of course they can be friends - they can do things together that do not involve having her take them to her house. You can go to a public place where the kids play and you can watch your kid play without interacting with her other than in the most impersonal way. You do not then need to interact with her child at all nor does she need to interact with yours. Better yet have her babysitter or friend or relative bring her child to a playdate at a public place.
    Yes there are loads of ways to do this other then the plan at hand if they really want to play together .

    I honestly feel like this is almost an act of control on her part .... *I have you blocked , I refuse any communication , you are an ex and this is over ..but , I am going to message your child , come to your house and pick him up and you can just suck it up *

    She is a piece of work .

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  6. #55
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    No, and if I did I wouldn't consider myself a parent.

    Ms Pippy...I prefer green tea w/lemon.
    I tried green tea once. Tastes like seaweed.

  7. #56
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    Yes there are loads of ways to do this other then the plan at hand if they really want to play together .

    I honestly feel like this is almost an act of control on her part .... *I have you blocked , I refuse any communication , you are an ex and this is over ..but , I am going to message your child , come to your house and pick him up and you can just suck it up *

    She is a piece of work .
    I was thinking the same thing pippy!

    Seems to be a control tug of war.

    And honestly any mother who thinks it’s ok to take a child leaving the parent no ability to reach them is down right insane.

    You may have shared bodily fluids but you haven’t even known this woman for a full year!

    You absolutely CAN contact her to cancel and you know it. Get your kids phone, call her, tell her this is ridiculous, the kids can FaceTime and text, once time has passed and were both better maybe they can have play dates but it’s down right ridiculous to do this and I won’t. I’m sorry and good bye, hang up walk away.

  8. #57
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    You absolutely CAN contact her to cancel and you know it. Get your kids phone, call her, tell her this is ridiculous, the kids can FaceTime and text, once time has passed and were both better maybe they can have play dates but it’s down right ridiculous to do this and I won’t. I’m sorry and good bye, hang up walk away.
    ^^^ There you go ...you don't even need to think what to say now ..it is right there for you .

  9. #58
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    You know this ****s with your kid's head, right? The woman isn't her mother. Granted, I'm going off the assumption that she didn't step parent the child for 15 years, but you need to grab your crotch and give it a solid squeeze. Should be two ovular objects hanging there. It's one thing if you wanna put yourself out because you can't / don't want to get over her. It's another to adversely affect your child for it. Cancel the visit. Exercise your responsibility as your child's father.

  10. #59
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    So are you seeing if you can get back together with both women?
    It had that vibe.

  11. #60
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I'm going to be frank here.

    You've got to take a few thousand deep breaths and commit to straightening your spine and getting your head screwed on. It will take some time—a year, say—but it will be worth it. It means 365 days straight without worrying too much about the head between your legs.

    When I read you saying certain things, about showing off your "dignity" and "respect" by letting a nine year old make his own plans with an adult—well, it's just very hard to read. It makes me very, very sad for your child. He is a human being. A very small one, at that. An actual child, not a pawn in a childish game.

    There are mature adults out there who could allow a friendship between their children to continue after their relationship fizzled. You, I'm sorry, are not such an adult, as you wouldn't be posting here otherwise. You'd be having a cordial exchange with your ex, rather than leaving your child—a child!—to arrange playdates with an adult. Except, actually, you wouldn't even be doing that because you wouldn't have fast-tracked things into a mock blended family with someone you'd only known a few months, which is to say you'd never have gotten involved with this woman in the first place, as she's missing a few key chips in the operating system herself...

    I mean, do you see how loopy all this is?

    Here's the thing: it's so easy to stop too, if you really want to grow up. Looks like this: after you read this post you text your ex and cancel this playdate. Non-dramatic, straightforward: "After some thought I've decided it's not a good idea for our children to spend more time together. Thanks for understanding, and happy holidays." And then you block her number—and that is that, the end of this and the first tiny, belated step toward adulthood, not flipping through "Atomic Attraction" during a lull in romantic drama.

    From there you focus on your kid, and on letting this nonsense go. It'll pass if you let it, like a kidney stone: painful, but totally within the capacity of all humans. Enjoy holidays with your child and his mother. Try—please, please try—not to use them to respark things. You are not ready. You need 350 more days or so, and they'd be much better spent establishing a mature, adult relationship with her than a fraught romantic one to replace the fraught romance you're currently with-drawling from.

    Sounds like climbing Everest, I know, but it's really not. You will thank yourself next Christmas for the man you've become, and your son will thank you for life, and throughout life.
    Couldn't have put it better.

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