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Thread: Not able to gauge ex reaction

  1. #41
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    You got caught up in the "White Night Syndrome" where you were drawn in to save her from all her troubles. Guys get used really easily doing that so live and learn.

    Here are a few guidelines I go by when deciding if I should continue seeing someone:
    1. If their life is a mess they are more than likely a mess and shouldn't be dating anyone.
    2. If they have huge credit card debt you can bet that the rest of their life is not managed very well either. In life things happen, illness, car breakdowns, lay offs but if they simply live off credit cards (live beyond their means) then it is trouble.
    3. If the inside of their car/apartment/house is in chaos then their life is probably in chaos. They may be totally professional and have it all together at work but you need to pay attention to their personal life they have total control over.
    4. Bad things happen to good people all the time but if bad things seem to always happen to them you need to ask yourself if they bring it on themselves.
    5. If they show you who they are pay attention and don't let a pretty face and a hot body distract you from reality.

    2 weeks will go by fast so be professional and DO NOT check up on her! Let it go and if you are not ready to date then don't. The last thing you want to do is use some unsuspecting woman to make yourself feel better.

    Lost

  2. #42
    Silver Member Spawn's Avatar
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    I just read more on that , feel awful to be honest.Thanks lost for all the insights will remember them

  3. #43
    Silver Member Spawn's Avatar
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    ok its been a week and saw her today in office accidentally as i was avoiding all her places. Kept walking, she glanced and looked away, i just kept walking. got myself busy with the review of her work that she sent over email, completed that and then got busy with another teammates work.

    I feel ok, listening to some relaxing instrumental music on youtube to keep me calm a bit between meetings.
    talking to one of my colleague with their project helped divert all focus a lot.

    Guess if i keep busy with work and focus there always will help to get over this someday.

    She is blocked and whenever i feel down i read all the comments here again and again as long as it takes.

  4. #44
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Getting a checkup from a doctor and a referral to a therapist would help if you are this unable to function after a brief office romance.
    Originally Posted by Spawn
    listening to some relaxing instrumental music on youtube to keep me calm a bit between meetings.Guess if i keep busy with work and focus there always will help to get over this someday.

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  6. #45
    Silver Member Spawn's Avatar
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    Thoughts of her claiming to be raped by him and later changing version of it saying it was not rape he was throwing stuff little violent when she found him cheating on some other girl he took revenge on her...for me it was all so shocking to hear and more shock later she went back to him.

    She talking about him so much was itself a sign she was not over him and i overlooked that part and me thought of giving her a good life.

    Feel crap gotta get my butt to office

  7. #46
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    When did your last relationship end? Why did you get so wrapped up in this office fling? Have you dated normal women outside the office? Maybe it's time to do things outside of work and get started on having viable relationships.
    Originally Posted by Spawn
    she went back to him.

  8. #47
    Silver Member Spawn's Avatar
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    Last year, we respected each other a lot, but we lost our baby and it effected us a lot, we broke it off, we could continue as just friends, hangout sometimes with other friends.

    When this coworker asked for friendship i told her clearly its not possible as i have lot of feelings felt it would impact both and that could have ticked her off a lot.

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