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Thread: How to have a long lasting relationship

  1. #1

    How to have a long lasting relationship

    So I just met a cute guy off of a dating app yesterday. We have been talking and have each otherís Snapchats. The only problem is none of my past relationships have lasted long. We arenít officially dating, as neither of us has declared we are a couple. However, I have a feeling this might turn into a relationship. What are your tips for a long lasting relationship?

  2. #2
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    My number one tip is don't think too much about the future. This includes both types of looking at the future: thinking things will be amazing, or worrying that its going to fall apart. Focus on making sure the present is good! Enjoy it when it is, and see if you can work together when problems come up and the present isn't good.

    Maybe more specifics would be helpful: what are some of the ways your other relationships have not lasted?

  3. #3
    Bronze Member LootieTootie's Avatar
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    You met a stranger online yesterday and you are thinking today that "yes, I can see a relationship with this guy. this guy who I have no idea is real or not."

    Look I met my husband online, but I've had enough online dating app experiences to know that people rarely present themselves who they're really are in reality. So please take caution when you meet people online and know what your expectations are - always. If it's early in the game, like this one, have low expectations. The guy may very well be a catfish or some guy who has a wife or girlfriend but is using the dating app as an ego booster. Yes there are mentally-ill people who do this! When you have low expectations from the beginning, which is fine because you need to be pragmatic using dating apps, you won't be disappointed or discouraged if this guy didn't pan out.

    Back to your initial question, a long lasting relationship takes work on both ends. Of course there's the basic ingredients each relationship needs in the beginning (compatibility, mutual respect, chemistry, etc), but lasting relationship takes work. Usually relationships become like a business partnership and they lose their spark or the romance. However I think that's just because people forget to flirt, forget to listen to their loved one, forget about fore play, forget to do something special for each other, forget about date nights, etc.

  4. #4
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    Wow slow down,you've only met him yesterday. He's a complete stranger and you're coming off very intense o_o.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Yes slow odwn, this guy is a stranger. You dont know him at all. People lie all the time.

    How to have a good relationship:
    be honest
    dont lie
    dont cheat
    have good communication
    discuss important things like values, work ethic, long term plans like buying a house etc
    be solvent financially
    have a job
    dont be clingy, possessive, whiny, accusatory, sneaky, always suspicious
    be the best person you can be

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    My #1 tip is to find the right one because no matter how much you try to make it work, all relationship fail whenever two parties are not in lock step regarding character.

    If you find the right one, remain humble, sincere, tell the truth, be honest and engage in great communication. However, despite this Information Age, don't over do it with electronic correspondence, texting, emails, messages, social media and the like. No one enjoys being hounded, smothered and suffocated.

    Give each other space. Make yourself mysterious and not always too available. Have allure and high self esteem. Nothing is more attractive than silent self confidence whether male or female.

    Have a life outside being a couple. Develop your own sense of independence, career, friends, interests, hobbies, sports, outings and the like. Never be boring and dull.

    Do special things for each other. Make sure both parties are very considerate.

    Focus on a healthy lifestyle for both of you. Health contributes to longevity.

    It takes two people to make a relationship succeed. You can't have one person doing all the work and the other person doing all the taking. You need balance.

    Observe his personality and character. Make sure both of you are compatible including daily habits which you may not be aware of now.

    Take it slow and don't be in a hurry. Just make sure your radar is up at all times. Remain cautious. You may not like everything about him once you get to know him better. Pay close attention.

    If you want him to like you, be very considerate and kind for a long lasting relationship and make sure actions and empathy are mutual. Have poise and aplomb. Act like a classy lady. Then hopefully he's a gentleman towards you and everyone else.

    Be very picky and choosy. If he passes muster, then he's a keeper and if he doesn't, dump him.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Along with what the others have mentioned, I'd say just follow your gut instincts. Leave room for differences, surprises, room for growth and disappointments or changes. You can disagree and still be loving and tolerant of that person. Don't let your resentments build up.

    If the time comes for an exit plan, don't be afraid of change. Most relationships don't last. That's a given so don't hold yourself to unrealistic ideas about trying to make things work when you're very unhappy. If you have a shared faith, pray together and don't be ashamed of your roots or your background. You should have faith in yourself. Your partner will not always be there for you. Sometimes letting go is part and parcel of life.

    I'd also be cautious about how much information you let out to third parties(friends, family, coworkers etc) in seeking support during difficult times. Your issues with your partner should remain private and keep your trust between the both of you unbroken/intact or at least be respectful to each other in the way you handle your privacy when you're going through a rough patch.

    Have some guidelines about how you both live and your lifestyle. Being with someone compatible when it comes to health, career, lifestyle choices can make or break a relationship very quickly and either support or erode trust, communication, understanding and your connection with each other.

    Every couple starts somewhere - a first date, a first kiss, a first week/month/year of bliss and joy. All those things fade over time. Keep that spark alive and learn to appreciate the little things and be fair with each other. Hope it works out with this guy for you. Let us know how it goes.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 12-13-2019 at 03:10 AM.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you met in person? Have you agreed to date? Then that has to be mutual. You can unilaterally decide it's a long lasting relationship after a few messages on an app.
    Originally Posted by Cutiegirl45
    I just met a cute guy off of a dating app yesterday. I have a feeling this might turn into a relationship.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Cutiegirl45
    So I just met a cute guy off of a dating app yesterday. We have been talking and have each otherís Snapchats. The only problem is none of my past relationships have lasted long. We arenít officially dating, as neither of us has declared we are a couple. However, I have a feeling this might turn into a relationship. What are your tips for a long lasting relationship?
    The reason why you have never had a relationship is because you donít take the time to date someone , decide if you like them enough to be exclusive and enough after that to decide if you want a relationship with them.
    This takes 3-6 months of dating.

    Why would you think being on snap chat means you are even going to meet him? Or that he hasnít added numerous women on Snapchat? And they might be all thinking the same?

    The minute a guy adds you on social media , before meeting in real life or even after a real life meet , is the minute you should realise he is not interested.
    He has no interest in getting to know you in person. A respectful and genuinely interested guy would only want to get to know the real you.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    First, it's best to find someone who likes you first and a lot..........who falls in love with you.

    Then to keep them in love, give them romance, respect, affection, and be honest with them.

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