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Thread: Her love letters weren't hers...

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It was an 11 Day vacation fling, but she is back home with her bf. let it go.
    Originally Posted by MaybeThen
    A few months ago I met a girl in my country while she vacationed. She had broken up with her bf that same day. 3 days later we were telling each other we loved and missed one another. we’ve spent 11 days together total in person. I am 18 years older than her. She is 30.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It was an 11 Day vacation fling, but she is back home with her bf. let it go.
    No she’s not, she lives in a completely different locale to him as of a month ago. And you deliberately keep choosing to overlook the fact that we met 4 months ago and spent time together, then, 4 months later, she flew back out to see me. It was more than a “vacation fling”

    It doesn’t matter, at this point we’re still speaking but I’ve backed off and don’t expect it to progress into anything more than a digital flirt session.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MaybeThen
    No she’s not, she lives in a completely different locale to him as of a month ago. And you deliberately keep choosing to overlook the fact that we met 4 months ago and spent time together, then, 4 months later, she flew back out to see me. It was more than a “vacation fling”

    It doesn’t matter, at this point we’re still speaking but I’ve backed off and don’t expect it to progress into anything more than a digital flirt session.
    But you paid for her to fly back. You're leaving that part out. Plus you paid for everything and gave her free things from your family shop.

    It's not like she took it upon herself to come see you and she paid her own travel expenses.

    What is she doing now besides social media posts and electronic communication to move the relationship forward?

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    What is she doing now besides social media posts and electronic communication to move the relationship forward?
    Nothing. The posts have become more fantastical in nature, on both ends. Talk of escapism and running away together. So it’s all the more convinced I am that this is a fantasy that I misinterpreted.

    Also, I don’t know if this is a coincidence but I realized that the “soulmate” romance talk and such she only does on my page which is completely private with a small amount of my friends. On her personal page the most she displays is “I miss you” and “I love you” and more general types of talk. It was only a “4 months together!!” on her page for our 4 month anniversary, but on my page she responds with intense love type poetic things. Before I would have said she was just private about it, but now I can see it’s probably that she doesn’t want to go that far in her personal public life, but on my page no one can see it but me and a couple friends.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is there any direct communication with her or just interpretation of social media posts and pages?

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Is there any direct communication with her or just interpretation of social media posts and pages?
    Text. FaceTime. Phone.

    The reason I put a lot of emphasis on social media was because I wasn’t being hidden so I thought how could someone be lying but show me off in front of everyone if it were “fake”

    But now I’ve read about lovebombing and I think this all was a form of it. And I did it to her as well. Liking all posts on social media. The talk of I love you and you’re my soulmate within the first week. You’re wonderful. Magical. Everything I wanted. Let’s escape together. Let’s spend our lives together. You’re beautiful. You’re handsome. You’re perfect. The universe brought us together. Etc. Dumping this all on one another without any actual foundation. She made me feel like I was perfect in everything I did and was, like I was the missing piece of her life. But I was the first one to say I loved her and we’re soulmates. So we both fed off of it and into it.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I'm a bit confused. Are the pics of you two together and the declarations of love (to YOU, naming you by name) on her Facebook page or on yours? And your page isn't visible to her friends and family?

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    I'm a bit confused. Are the pics of you two together and the declarations of love (to YOU, naming you by name) on her Facebook page or on yours? And your page isn't visible to her friends and family?
    This is all taking place over a couple social media platforms we use. We are both posting pictures of her and I together as a couple. Couple photos doing couple things. And tagging one another, so yes, naming me by name. Her account is full of photos of the two of us.

    For example: I’ll post a photo of her and I together as a couple on my public page (so yes her friends and family can see this and her relative I met the first time I met her often responds as well) and say “I love this woman. I love our time together” and she responds, from her account, saying a reply like “everything was so magical. Thank you! You’re perfect”.

    However, on another social media platform we use, my account is completely private with barely anyone on it and THAT is where the extreme love talk happens. That is where she tells me I’m her soulmate and our souls are connected and I’m everything she wants in a man and she’s so lucky she found me. That is also where I say those things to her.

    On HER page which is public, she posts our couple photos, but it’s not over the top lovey. It’s toned down. Like “I love you. I miss you” and “thanks for loving me!” But it’s not the over the top romantic soulmate talk we do on my private page.

    I don’t know if you’re trying to determine if she’s a real person or a scam employee. She’s real and I met her family the first time she came to the country. She’s real and she has a real job and a real life.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    I know she's a real person. You said you met her on vacation and you paid to fly her out and gave her free stuff from your family shop.

    But in order for this to proceed further one of you must move to the other. You can't conduct a relationship (or a marriage) over electronic devices.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun

    But in order for this to proceed further one of you must move to the other. You can't conduct a relationship (or a marriage) over electronic devices.
    Many people have long distance relationships in this day and age. You start by visiting each other back and forth and in between those times, it does take place over electronic devices because that’s all you have to communicate. Then eventually you move to be together. It’s not an unusual concept

    I know that wasn’t on her mind or my advances wouldn’t have been rejected. But I did think it was headed there

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