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Thread: He is staring at other women

  1. #21
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bekigirl
    That is exactly what is happening now because of stupid thing like this I can not trust him anymore and will probably leave him. It's sad. I mean we all notice hot people! I do too! But I look away out of respect. I guess maybe I should start drooling from now on? Stop talking stare and make a scene? 🙈
    Yes, and most people grow up, and learn common courtesy. Looks like he missed the boat there. Either way, it's not your job to raise this schmuck.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I don't think he's interested in you at all unfortunately. Or you're not compatible together. It's an indirect (and rude) way of telling you that, perhaps even subconscious. Maybe he believes you're desperate enough to sleep with him if he spends more time with you and he's with you just for the sexual aspect. In my mind, he seems half-hearted and is expecting you to break up with him anyway. You'd be doing him a favour so that he doesn't have to. It's a roundabout way of getting you to be the bad guy and end things. Also, less drama for him because he gets to be free and single anyway.

    There are a lot of people like that who will mistreat their partners because they're not aware enough of the fact that they're not happy or that person isn't willing to come out and end things.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bekigirl
    That is exactly what is happening now because of stupid thing like this I can not trust him anymore and will probably leave him. It's sad. I mean we all notice hot people! I do too! But I look away out of respect. I guess maybe I should start drooling from now on? Stop talking stare and make a scene? 🙈
    Well, Bekigirl, look at it this way: It's better to know that he lacks moral character now than discover his incurable flaw and defects later.

    Whenever people sorely disappoint me, I'm actually grateful that I know now instead of prolonging misery and agony unnecessarily. It's a real education. Then you become wise and no longer waste your time, energy and resources on impertinent people. Live and learn.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Guys look at women, that's the way they are, and it's not going to change. I tell them to wear mirrored sunglasses!

    But some are more subtle about it.

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  6. #25

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    I appreciate your comment Gary but his behavior makes me feel worthless and I can't trust him because of it. I ended things today. This was not the only reason. He was crying, I was crying, it was hard, but I feel much better now because being alone is better than being with someone not trustworthy.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. He's a crude oaf. Forget the sunglasses remark. A guy who cares is not going to be this rude.
    Originally Posted by Bekigirl
    I ended things today. I feel much better now

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Well certainly you can find a guy who is more subtle about it.

    I don't look anymore. My Dr. says it's bad for my ticker!

  9. #28
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bekigirl
    I appreciate your comment Gary but his behavior makes me feel worthless and I can't trust him because of it. I ended things today. This was not the only reason. He was crying, I was crying, it was hard, but I feel much better now because being alone is better than being with someone not trustworthy.
    Sorry to hear this, but it sounds like you've learned enough over 6 months to be confident in knowing this is not a man you can feel great around. Your mentioning of this being "not the only reason" leads me to think that the staring at women is the most obvious symptom of something you've been aware of for a while—a man who is more "dangerous" than "safe," perhaps?

    You know your worth, your needs, and you know that trying to mold people into shapes is a lost cause. Wonderful stuff, all that, and stuff you've just celebrated by making this hard decision. Wishing you luck moving forward, and eventually connecting with someone on your level.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bekigirl
    This might be a stupid problem but my boyfriend of 6 months keeps staring at other women and I have a problem with that. I have no insecurities and I like myself but I never had a guy do this to this extend; where he stops talking and can't concentrate... I feel this is how he is and I don't plan on yelling at him and trying to change this man in his 40s. My plan is not to see him few days, then hang out Saturday where there's people around. If after few days of not seeing me he is still focusing on other women, dump him. I really don't like telling people what to do I rather just break up. Is there any way to fix this without me lecturing a grown man on what's rude behaviour?
    You are showing that you have a high value in yourself and what you want from a relationship. I absolutely agree... this is not a behavior that is even worth addressing with him. Whether he doesn't realize it's inappropriate (hard to believe that a man in his 40's doesn't realize this), or whether he does and continues to do it anyway... this doesn't sound like a man that is worthy of you investing more of your precious time in.

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