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Thread: He is staring at other women

  1. #11
    Platinum Member milly007's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    There's two ways to look at it. Seeing you don't plan on sticking around anyway, why bother teaching how to be a better partner for the next person?
    For me, if I made a remark, it wouldn't be with the intent of teaching him a lesson - it would be a cheeky, smarta$$ remark. I don't have the patience to teach anyone any lessons; nevermind a 40-something yr old man. But this is just my personality and how I am. To each their own.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    When I was younger, yah, I probably wanted to get the last dig in.

    Now, I just snicker of the thought of him doing the same to the next woman he dates.

    He'll learn his lesson eventually. Just not on my watch.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Just dump the horny old goat.🐐
    Originally Posted by Bekigirl
    where he stops talking and can't concentrate. man in his 40s.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by milly007
    For me, if I made a remark, it wouldn't be with the intent of teaching him a lesson - it would be a cheeky, smarta$$ remark. I don't have the patience to teach anyone any lessons; nevermind a 40-something yr old man. But this is just my personality and how I am. To each their own.
    Problem is then the guy would know how much you care about him -and for many people even negative attention is preferable to being ignored.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member milly007's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    When I was younger, yah, I probably wanted to get the last dig in.

    Now, I just snicker of the thought of him doing the same to the next woman he dates.

    He'll learn his lesson eventually. Just not on my watch.
    I don't blame you, reinvent. Don't mind me, I'm just full of sass these days with no cooling off period in sight. Lol. Maybe in the future it'll subside.

    I'm not recommending that the OP SHOULD make a quip, I was only remarking that I probably would (and I want to make that clear). The OP has to stay true to herself and do what's best for her.

  7. #16
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    To quip or not to quip - that is the question lol!

    I agree that itís completely subjective and personal - but for me - it would be less about teaching this particular guy a lesson and more about standing up for womenís rights. Which makes ME feel empowered and good (which also counteracts how he was attempting to make the OP feel).

    I am not an object. The woman he was gawking at is not an object. We, as women, have more to bring to the table than just boobs and high heels and whatever else he was staring at. We are people who have thoughts and feelings and interests, etc. Iím sure he wasnít wondering what the last book she read was...

    I have no illusions that this particular woman will make this particular man change over this particular incident... but yes... I do think we should stand up more often and say ę this is not ok Ľ. Like the #metoo movement. We should speak up. And yeah - the world does sometime change when people start to make noise, yanno?

    Ok... Iíll take my soapbox away now... lol!

    Btw - I agree that it would be the same if the genders were reversed. Itís ok to notice or to find someone attractive... but people shouldnít objectify people IMO

  8. #17
    Platinum Member milly007's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RedDress
    To quip or not to quip - that is the question lol!

    I agree that itís completely subjective and personal - but for me - it would be less about teaching this particular guy a lesson and more about standing up for womenís rights. Which makes ME feel empowered and good (which also counteracts how he was attempting to make the OP feel).

    I am not an object. The woman he was gawking at is not an object. We, as women, have more to bring to the table than just boobs and high heels and whatever else he was staring at. We are people who have thoughts and feelings and interests, etc. Iím sure he wasnít wondering what the last book she read was...

    I have no illusions that this particular woman will make this particular man change over this particular incident... but yes... I do think we should stand up more often and say ę this is not ok Ľ. Like the #metoo movement. We should speak up. And yeah - the world does sometime change when people start to make noise, yanno?

    Ok... Iíll take my soapbox away now... lol!

    Btw - I agree that it would be the same if the genders were reversed. Itís ok to notice or to find someone attractive... but people shouldnít objectify people IMO
    I hear you, RedDress. That's the thing - we all handle situations differently. To be honest, while smiling I'd be tempted to say something like, "Did you want some popcorn for the show?", or "You do realize that if you take a picture it'll last longer, right?". Or, in an attempt to embarrass him, I'd play aloof and say, "Ooohhh, what are we looking at? Let me see!", and then I'd proceed to rubber neck what he's looking at.

    Gawsh I can be a dork sometimes, but hey...works for me! :)

  9. #18
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    Lol if it happens again and it's not subtle, just cut your losses.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    It's not a stupid problem. It's a real problem. They say, "Husbands and boyfriends, guard your eyes. Your wife or girlfriend will appreciate it." This can't be further from the truth.

    It's bad enough that you've caught your boyfriend ogling and leering at other women in public. Even furtive surreptitious glances are sneaky and insincere. Think about what he does when your back is turned or whenever you are not with him. I always gauge a person's behavior whenever their partner is not looking over their shoulder. That's the true test of character of whether they're honorable or NOT.

    No, you shouldn't have to lecture a grown man about his disrespectful behavior. It's more than rude. You can't control him. The problem is his lack of moral character. Yes, dump him! Only be with a man who knows how to behave with habitual respect.

    I wouldn't trust him if I were you.

  11. #20

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    That is exactly what is happening now because of stupid thing like this I can not trust him anymore and will probably leave him. It's sad. I mean we all notice hot people! I do too! But I look away out of respect. I guess maybe I should start drooling from now on? Stop talking stare and make a scene? 🙈

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