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Thread: Just the basics - is he into me?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Guys who like you don't cancel dates - or speaking engagements. And they want to see you alone.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by teeEFc
    YESSS!

    I think that's where my mindset wants to go right now. I'm just having fun and realizing there's OTHER FISH in the sea of life.
    There's just so much out there - I just have to be willing to put myself out there and experience it :)

    I will definitely take your advice and just allow things to do what it wants. The guy doesn't know whether I'm single or not as he hasn't really asked me about anything else. I'm the one doing a lot of the *off topic* discussions. He'll ask the periodic basic question, but that's it.

    Even in his emails to me now, they aren't even asking *how are you?* or *hope you're doing well* like before. They are just very short and to the point.
    As far as I'm concerned, it's his loss if he's not interested. Next
    totally his loss <3

    I love fancying someone lol that little buzz you get ...obviously if one becomes too invested it isn't fun , but it is just part of been on the road to recovery and a good sign that yeah ...you're gonna do fine girl ...your head and heart is turning itself around to get on with life and all the wonders that are in store .

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    He seems a little dry. Maybe see whether he texts or calls you in the next couple of months. I'd consider the Christmas and New Years period a black out period for most people (when dating). If you don't hear from him in December, it may not mean that it's completely turned cold. Meet up a few times for your volunteer work and see whether the conversation flows.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    There are lots of people, if not the majority, who don't believe in dating people from the workplace. So I'd keep it professional and shop for dates outside of the job.

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  6. #25
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    I originally met my husband at work. Anyway -do you want to know if he is attracted to you or if he wants to date you? Two different things. If the former -sure he might find you attractive. If the latter from all you've written he's had plenty of opportunity to ask you out, to reschedule what he had to cancel (or use it as an excuse -sorry I couldn't make it, how about....). Typically if a man is interested in dating you he will ask you out or at minimum respond with enthusiasm to you asking him out and make sure to close the deal - he wouldn't want you to get snapped up by someone else. of course. I would move on from this and since he knows you are interested in spending time with him I'd leave the ball in his court. Sorry if that is disappointing!

  7. #26
    Bronze Member teeEFc's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    Guys who like you don't cancel dates - or speaking engagements. And they want to see you alone.
    I was hoping you'd reply! Short and to the point. Yep. I figured if he was interested, he'd take the opportunity to work with me one on one which is what I offered SEVERAL times in a casual way.

    Ah well. Life goes on. I tried! :)

  8. #27
    Bronze Member teeEFc's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    totally his loss <3

    I love fancying someone lol that little buzz you get ...obviously if one becomes too invested it isn't fun , but it is just part of been on the road to recovery and a good sign that yeah ...you're gonna do fine girl ...your head and heart is turning itself around to get on with life and all the wonders that are in store .
    LOL! Yes, that's exactly right! It's fun to daydream sometimes - but I can't let that daydreaming cloud my vision of what reality is when presented in front of me. My instincts are still off, but I'm getting the hang of things a bit more = like if he doesn't message me etc than those actions are pretty damn clear AND I don't take it personally.
    Thanks again for your messages!

  9. #28
    Bronze Member teeEFc's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    He seems a little dry. Maybe see whether he texts or calls you in the next couple of months. I'd consider the Christmas and New Years period a black out period for most people (when dating). If you don't hear from him in December, it may not mean that it's completely turned cold. Meet up a few times for your volunteer work and see whether the conversation flows.
    Thanks for your message!
    Yah, I agree with you. Maybe the holiday season isn't the best time to gauge a person's interest.
    I'll see if he wants to meet up and work on our volunteer stuff in January or February. Honestly, I'll let him figure it out at this point.

    We started working together at the end of October and only met each other a couple of weeks ago in the flesh.
    Let's see.
    It's so odd, another guy that we work with is AMAZING! He's so sweet and nice and doing all the right things and saying such flattering things to me. We can have great text conversations and he keeps them going. Such fantastic banter!

    He's even SET UP DATES with me and wants to see me at the shows he's producing and spend time with me AFTER HOURS etc.
    Of course, he's not interested in girls *I think*- but damn, if he was a potential fun date for me he'd be great! I'm glad I can call him my friend. I laugh with my friends saying "now why can't the guy I actually have a crush on at least do this???!?"

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by teeEFc
    Thanks for your message!
    Yah, I agree with you. Maybe the holiday season isn't the best time to gauge a person's interest.
    I'll see if he wants to meet up and work on our volunteer stuff in January or February. Honestly, I'll let him figure it out at this point.

    We started working together at the end of October and only met each other a couple of weeks ago in the flesh.
    Let's see.
    It's so odd, another guy that we work with is AMAZING! He's so sweet and nice and doing all the right things and saying such flattering things to me. We can have great text conversations and he keeps them going. Such fantastic banter!

    He's even SET UP DATES with me and wants to see me at the shows he's producing and spend time with me AFTER HOURS etc.
    Of course, he's not interested in girls *I think*- but damn, if he was a potential fun date for me he'd be great! I'm glad I can call him my friend. I laugh with my friends saying "now why can't the guy I actually have a crush on at least do this???!?"
    I agree... isn't it that way sometimes though. All very comical in the big picture etc. You seem to have a great energy and perspective about things. I think it'd be hard for anyone not to catch your energy or for you to rub off on them. I wouldn't be surprised if your crush is seeing someone or in an on/off situation or recently separated or if he's recently ended a relationship. He may also be in a new relationship and sorting things out/getting to know someone else. His vibe seems strange to me. See how things go. You don't have anything to lose.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 12-13-2019 at 12:05 AM.

  11. #30
    Bronze Member teeEFc's Avatar
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    Okay: Update time

    I had a meeting with my crush and two other volunteers.
    I mentioned how I'm going to meet up with one of my friends who might give me some insights into social media stuff.
    He VOLUNTEERED to go with me and meet up with MY friends. He'll have to travel to my city etc etc. He said he'd like to go with me to listen to what my friend has to say. Honestly, I was floored in the meeting. I actually said "oh really?" "that's great!"

    I then received an email (during our meeting) from a person that we previously had a meeting with a week ago. I read the email out loud to the other people in the meeting. The last line from the email mentioned that the guy wanted to meet me "1 on 1" again later on.

    When I said the words "1 on 1" my crush scoffed at the language. I think he knew what 1 on 1 meant.
    Anyways - I mentioned how I didn't really want to go by myself. He was a little hesitant to commit to going with me.

    I had another conversation with my crush yesterday.
    I asked him once more about meeting up with my friend. He confirmed he was good to go.

    I then mentioned the whole meet up with the other guy who made me feel uncomfortable. He said he understood why I felt awkward. He then said he'd be willing to go with me.

    I thanked him etc.
    And then explained why I thought it was better for him to go with me than another one of our other volunteers.

    He then said "no really, I don't mind going"

    I thought the interaction was pretty good.

    Of course, his text messages overall suck. We sorta left it at that. I ended the conversation saying we'd speak about everything in the new year. He agreed.
    No goodbye, no have a good night, no anything.

    I will say though that I was impressed that he answered me right away when I first texted him. I figured it was quite late at night - so why would he text back. I wasn't expecting an immediate response.

    And of course, as usual - no initiation of any damn conversations :)
    But, the fact that he wanted to get together with my friend I thought was a positive - what do ENAers think?

    Thanks for letting me gush a bit!

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