Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 26 of 26

Thread: Thrown off by one word and my own insecurities. Help!

  1. #21

    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Location
    Boston, MA
    Posts
    8
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    In the future . . .when someone mentions their messy breakup `so quickly and reiterates how `done' they are with them. . .they are fresh out of break up and still not over it.

    After 6 years, she's adjusting to being alone and thought to fill the void with a nice guy she knew from the past. But that's it. Nothing more.

    You said you went into it as “old platonic friends catching up” sort of thing. And walked away not reading the signals correctly.

    No harm. You took a chance. That's a brave thing to do. But you have your answer. The meetup was exactly as it was intended. Two old friends.

    It says alot about her and where she's at right now, 2 weeks out of a relationship of long duration. Honestly, she might not be ready until a year from now.
    Besides, you don't want to date someone who is still in damage control mode, post breakup.

    Don't take it personally. Write it off to bad timing. Head high
    Yes, this was another big red flag. It's like an alcoholic trying to convince you that they don't have a drinking problem. Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself? I wish I though to ask her that question because I was curious who she was trying to convince.

    Thank you for your input.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    3,810
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by JimmyS
    Yes, this was another big red flag. It's like an alcoholic trying to convince you that they don't have a drinking problem. Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself? I wish I though to ask her that question because I was curious who she was trying to convince.
    It's not really a question you have to ask, in those circumstances, but just a thing to observe. Let's say that this was a Bumble date, rather than an old friend who will always be linked to a very vulnerable moment in your past. The moment you heard the Bumble date talking about her last relationship—how done she was, but how he still had stuff at her place—is the moment you know your Bumble date is not dating material.

    She sounds like a very cool woman, from what you've outlined. She also sounds like a woman who is not remotely ready for romance, as she herself has made clear. Can you accept both those truths and continue to reconnect?

  3. #23

    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Location
    Boston, MA
    Posts
    8
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    It's not really a question you have to ask, in those circumstances, but just a thing to observe. Let's say that this was a Bumble date, rather than an old friend who will always be linked to a very vulnerable moment in your past. The moment you heard the Bumble date talking about her last relationship—how done she was, but how he still had stuff at her place—is the moment you know your Bumble date is not dating material.

    She sounds like a very cool woman, from what you've outlined. She also sounds like a woman who is not remotely ready for romance, as she herself has made clear. Can you accept both those truths and continue to reconnect?
    Yes. I am going to allow her to reconnect at her own pace, whatever that may be. I won't chase, call, contact, etc. I'm going to continue to see other women. I dated one of her friends last year (the most repulsive personality I have ever witnessed in my life but was worth a shot) and am currently involved in a casual situation with another woman.

    You are right; if this we're Bumble and I heard that, I'd have shut down immediately. Check, please.
    Last edited by JimmyS; 12-12-2019 at 11:56 AM.

  4. #24
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    888
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by JimmyS
    I dated one of her friends last year (the most repulsive personality I have ever witnessed in my life but was worth a shot) and am currently involved in a casual situation with another woman.

    Sorry, excuse my curiosity but why would you want to date a nightmare woman?

  5.  

  6. #25

    Join Date
    Dec 2019
    Location
    Boston, MA
    Posts
    8
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by ninjabib
    Sorry, excuse my curiosity but why would you want to date a nightmare woman?
    I'm talking about two different women. The nightmare friend with a repulsive personality was last year. I didn't know she was a nightmare until I dated her. I'd rather go home and watch TV than sleep with her. That' show terrible she was, so I ended it fast.

    The "another woman" is someone else.

  7. #26
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    888
    Gender
    Male
    Ok i thought you meant you knew she was a nightmare but carried on anyway! Thanks for clearing that up.

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •