Ex broke up with me because I called her out on flaking?

She would't have said anything otherwise. My ex-girlfriend And I were supposed to hang out one weekend but she canceled 30 minutes before we were supposed to get together. she had a history of doing this, so the next time I saw her I called her out on it and she kept on saying "oh no no I was really sick", but then quickly changed it to “I'll text you.” she texted me and she came over and basically said that she wasn't ready for a relationship, even though we have been together for a few months. Had I not called her out on it, we would probably still be together because she would not have said anything which makes no sense to me. I was already thinking of ending it, so she probably sensed it and wanted to beat me to it. obviously I understand that you guys are not mind readers but can someone please help me get an idea of why this might have been. now she has the nerve to act all mad at me, and attempt to follow me. It's been a little disconcerting. I'm not after her at all, and there has been no contact. I feel no need to think about her, but her actions/ behaviors have me a little bamboozled.

 

Any theories?

Is this the same woman?: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=562822&p=7184355&viewfull=1#post7184355

My ex-girlfriend And I were supposed to hang out one weekend. she texted me and she came over and basically said that she wasn't ready for a relationship

It was just an excuse to end things OP. She didn't have the decency to be honest with you so she put the blame and guilt onto you instead. Don't kick yourself. She was never staying. Block and delete.

 

Also if you were wanting to end it why didn't you? Perhaps she beat you to the punch and it's left you a little sore.

If she had a history of flaking on you, then what more do you need to know? She was not that into this relationship, and there is really no clear moment that you can 'take back' to change that.

 

Most people are NOT our match. We date, we don't mesh with most people, we occasionally find some good vibes with someone--so we keep dating to learn whether they're a good match or not. In most cases, it's NOT. So we keep moving forward to find the needle in the haystack.

 

Rejection means that another person doesn't own the right lens to see and appreciate your unique value. That's speaks of their limits rather than of any reflection on you. The goal is not to pretzel yourself in order to be seen the right way, that doesn't work. The goal is to allow wrong matches to pass early so you can move forward and eventually find the right match for you.

 

If love were not rare, what would be so special about it?

When you breakup/reject somebody, their love level spikes a little. So yeah, they can come back and seem more interested than they were before. Confusing, isn't it?!

 

I would say she's not into you and you did the right thing. Stick to your guns and cut contact.

She gave you her answer: she's not ready for a relationship. Maybe she's super sexy and hot and you're not thinking straight or seeing her for her underneath her looks. You keep wanting what you can't have and what she doesn't have to give to you. Every time she looks at you you may be interpreting it as an invitation or something that she's doing to you (reading too much into it). The whole relationship might have been a sham or one big mind game for her. She's just not into you and I think she's immature and resentful. It's not the end of the world. You just do you and be more in tune with people you date. Don't force things if they don't feel right. Take it easy.

 

Distance yourself and meet other women. Don't get so tunnel-visioned about this girl or the break up. It's over. That's all that matters. If she continues to "follow" you, ignore her. If she's mad at you, ignore her. What she thinks or feels from now onwards shouldn't matter. She didn't treat you well and you overestimated her. It happens to all of us. Pick yourself up off the ground and move on.

now she has the nerve to act all mad at me, and attempt to follow me.

Block and delete her and then forget she even exists you only saw her a time or two if she had a history of flaking on you so no loss that she's gone. You just have to make her gone in the cyber world as well.

Based on your last thread and this one, her interest level did not match yours.

 

She wasn't as invested as you and likely was relieved to make her exit when you took her to task on her last-minute cancellations.

 

Maybe you two would have limped along a while more, but the end was coming anyway.

If someone likes you, you will know it, if they dont, you will be confused.

Rather than trying to figure her out, why dont you just accept that it just didnt work out. Her actions + her words said she didnt want to be in a relationship with you and she didnt want to hurt you so accepting dates and flaking was the best way for her to deal with the situation.

In the end you two are not meant to be. Just let her go and find someone who wants to be with you.