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Thread: Confusing situation with my girlfriend and her ex.

  1. #1

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    Confusing situation with my girlfriend and her ex.

    So we met online and dated(not officially) for approximately 2 months things were amazing. I thought we were going places she always told me how much she liked me and we were always touching and making love. And then one Monday we were making love all morning(excuse the details) . I got home and I had no text from her(strange to me because an hour would pass and I would almost be assured contact from her) I tried again nothing. Tried again got a dull txt saying her day was good. And I got a major vibe just from that. More dull contact and ignoring from her I finally got the message. It was a long message about her saying her ex "put it to her" that they wanna get back together "for the kids" bare in mind they were separated 5 years. So with a bit of argument and some nasty things said I let it it go. I was distraught I fell for this girl, hard. About just over a week later I had messages from her saying how much her ex was an and how much I was right about an ex being an ex for a reason bla bla. So we gave it another shot. She told me they didn't sleep together and stuff then I got it out of her that they did..still devastated we continued. Now 5 months later it still haunts me. His name. His texts everything is stomach churning. I've had councilling I've tried so hard to forget it but I just cant and its causing an argument at least once a week. He's in constant contact with her due to the 2 kids they have together. She hurt me so easy and left me like it was nothing. But now we're still together we both love each other and trust me she try's to prove herself everyday. Even puts up with me bringing up the past all the time. I also found a dating app on her phone. After all this happened. It was bumble she claimed she was just seeing what it was all about and that there was a friends option. Which is something I can get past. Now that kids are involved mine and hers it's a lot harder to make a decision about leaving. Cause I love them all and the kids would be saddened. I dont know what to do. Please help.

  2. #2
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    You gave way too many chances already, if Iím understanding your timeline correctly. And even after all the chances, you end up finding a dating app on her phone. Next.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    This is one reason why dating someone who is separated but not divorced is a lousy idea. Don't set yourself up to become the reason that prompts a married couple to examine why they have never pulled the trigger. As you're learning the hard way, that can leave you nowhere to go but to exit.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It won't get easier. It'll get a lot harder before it ever gets easier. There are just too many question marks about her and she's broken your trust more than once. First, by leaving you for her ex and then by finding that app for friends. This woman shouldn't be that lonely. She's got an ex (father of her kids), two kids of her own, your kids and she's got you. Why does she want to get busy with an online friendship option on a dating app? It just doesn't make sense, OP. The least she could do is join a knitting class or a painting class or meet people with similar hobbies. Hopefully she hasn't moved in with you or you haven't moved in with her. Are you both dependent on each other financially?

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  6. #5
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    She dumped you for the ex-still has feelings-then lied to you about having sex. I don't blame you, as she is not trust worthy.

    You would be a fool to continue with her! Do what is right for your kids and get out now.

    I missed the bit about the dating app. Dude, c'mon! You should have been done, long ago.

  7. #6

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    The thing is it's so hard because I love her so much and she makes me feel like a king. I've tried breaking it off with her and she just ends up crying and not letting me leave.

  8. #7

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    Nope, but she's discussed marriage and children and moving in together but I cant do it due to the no trust...

  9. #8

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    I bring it up probably weekly and she keeps saying "it's the past it's the past and I love you and that's all that matters" how do I deal with that? They text almost everyday due to the kids etc they apparently hate each other.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Deadlift88
    Nope, but she's discussed marriage and children and moving in together but I cant do it due to the no trust...
    Isn't she married?

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Deadlift88
    I bring it up probably weekly and she keeps saying "it's the past it's the past and I love you and that's all that matters" how do I deal with that? They text almost everyday due to the kids etc they apparently hate each other.
    They hate one another so much. that they reconciled within the last five months. Right.

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