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Thread: Outgrowing friendships

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I didn't ditch anyone. We just grew apart and spoke less and people move too over time for different opportunities. I think you're taking your sense of obligation as a friend a little too hard there, OP. Relax and start thinking more about yourself and what you want out of life.

    The problem with hanging around the same group of people is your thoughts and ideas become homogeneous with the same crowd. You need space to breathe. Find different people to exchange ideas with now and then, be more involved with your work and career, meet other peers, mingle more with different groups of people if you find yourself frustrated easily.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I transitioned from my party days with an occasional pop of the whoo-hoos! by passing on some of the outings, showing up the way you did for in-and-outs but ordering seltzer with lemon, and, most importantly, building private bonds with individuals from the group on my own terms.

    I made a point of NEVER discussing any of the other friends while with one of them. If one friend spoke of another, I'd listen to good news but I'd curb any complaints with a quick, "How about if we talk about anything in the world except for people who are not here. Then we won't need to keep track of any secrets--I'm really lousy at that..."

    Over time, certain friends established themselves as solo keepers while others faded to the background. I skipped worrying about who might say what about me when I wasn't present--that stuff just didn't interest me anymore. I allowed 'real' friendships to thrive while the not-so-close became irrelevant, and I didn't hold myself to any loyalty myths.

    Whoever wanted to grow with me was welcome to do that, and whoever was only interested in drinking buddies could find plenty of those to replace me.

    Head high, and don't sweat the small stuff. (Most of it is very small.)

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You're never under any obligation to do anything. Go your own way in this life and have freedom of choices as my mother had taught me. My father said, "Owe nobody nothing."

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