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Thread: Does she like me or is she stringing me along?

  1. #1

    Does she like me or is she stringing me along?

    Hello all, I will try to be brief. Long story short, a girl and I go to college together and are both seniors. We didn't talk or hangout at all until this semester. We hooked up, and agreed to be friends with benefits. Things got confusing. She started sending signals that she was starting to like me, even though we agreed to keep it at friends with benefits. I started to like her too, and I talked to her about it. When I told her i liked her, she said "there are feelings and emotions between us" and that we shouldn't hookup anymore, because she valued how we had grown closer "on a deeper and emotional level". She continues to text, snapchat, and even facetime me. She comes over and even sleeps over. We cuddle, and she falls asleep in my arms and tells me how good of a cuddler and kisser I am.

    Even though we agreed to not hookup anymore, we ended up hooking up 3 more times after we talked. It's not the intimacy that confuses me, but it's everything in between. She's the one who began sending these mixed signals, and I began thinking she was starting to like me. After we would hookup, she would stay over for the rest of the day. We would lie in bed, talk, and hangout. We grew pretty close for just being 'F buddies'. We have been intimate A LOT. She continues to talk to me and flirt with me, in person and over text. She playfully cracks jokes at me, teases me, and continues to come over and hangout. Her and I aren't ready to be in a committed relationship yet, but i still like her. I am content with how things are, but it confuses me that she continues to send these confusing/mixed signals when she already knows how I feel about her. She even cuddles with me and sleeps over, and talks to be constantly, usually initiating it too. I don't know how she feels. Even though I am not ready to pursue a relationship, i still like her, and i enjoy her company/cuddling and talking as much as we do. She complements me a lot about how much she enjoys it too.

    She has been in a toxic relationship in the past, and i have been in toxic relationships too. She cheated on her last ex, and i got cheated ON with my last ex. She knows this too. We have grown very close, especially for just agreeing to be 'friends with benefits' in the beginning. Now i am here. I don't know how she feels, but I have this weird feeling that she likes me but is insecure about it. I am satisfied with how things are, but since i like her, i think about the things she says/does to me. I would like to hear how you guys interpret the things she's been doing, especially since we continued to hookup after we agreed not to.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    She seems skittish and unsure, OP. Just take it for what it is. I have a strong feeling you already know what's up but you want it to be different because she's a cool chick you can both hang and have sex with. The short answer is yes, she is stringing you along by your definition. The other answer (other side of the coin) you might not want to hear is you aren't dating her right. Stop having sex with her or having her over when it's convenient for both of you. If there are feelings there, start acting more mature about it and treat each other better. Engage in other activities, ask her out, take her out somewhere special. Date her. Don't just have sex with each other. End the f- buddies situation if it's not something you want or can sustain. There's nothing unmanly about calling a spade a spade and acknowledging your feelings for someone.

    Ask yourself what you want and if it's a relationship, start dating her properly. If she doesn't want to date you, let her go. You're selling yourself short.

  3. #3
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    I think she likes you but not enough to actually have a relationship with you.

    She enjoys your attention and company, clearly. She seems to seek it out. But given how she reacted when you previously told her you liked her, you will probably find that she dials way back on the contact and hang-outs when she meets someone else. The current situation works for her because there are no strings attached; my personal read on it is that she doesn't want those strings attached.

  4. #4
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ajanderson32
    Hello all, I will try to be brief. Long story short, a girl and I go to college together and are both seniors. We didn't talk or hangout at all until this semester. We hooked up, and agreed to be friends with benefits. Things got confusing. She started sending signals that she was starting to like me, even though we agreed to keep it at friends with benefits. I started to like her too, and I talked to her about it. When I told her i liked her, she said "there are feelings and emotions between us" and that we shouldn't hookup anymore, because she valued how we had grown closer "on a deeper and emotional level". She continues to text, snapchat, and even facetime me. She comes over and even sleeps over. We cuddle, and she falls asleep in my arms and tells me how good of a cuddler and kisser I am.

    Even though we agreed to not hookup anymore, we ended up hooking up 3 more times after we talked. It's not the intimacy that confuses me, but it's everything in between. She's the one who began sending these mixed signals, and I began thinking she was starting to like me. After we would hookup, she would stay over for the rest of the day. We would lie in bed, talk, and hangout. We grew pretty close for just being 'F buddies'. We have been intimate A LOT. She continues to talk to me and flirt with me, in person and over text. She playfully cracks jokes at me, teases me, and continues to come over and hangout. Her and I aren't ready to be in a committed relationship yet, but i still like her. I am content with how things are, but it confuses me that she continues to send these confusing/mixed signals when she already knows how I feel about her. She even cuddles with me and sleeps over, and talks to be constantly, usually initiating it too. I don't know how she feels. Even though I am not ready to pursue a relationship, i still like her, and i enjoy her company/cuddling and talking as much as we do. She complements me a lot about how much she enjoys it too.

    She has been in a toxic relationship in the past, and i have been in toxic relationships too. She cheated on her last ex, and i got cheated ON with my last ex. She knows this too. We have grown very close, especially for just agreeing to be 'friends with benefits' in the beginning. Now i am here. I don't know how she feels, but I have this weird feeling that she likes me but is insecure about it. I am satisfied with how things are, but since i like her, i think about the things she says/does to me. I would like to hear how you guys interpret the things she's been doing, especially since we continued to hookup after we agreed not to.
    Don't get so attached to somebody so promiscuous that she is okay with a FWB arrangement and a known cheater. How do you know she is not the source of the toxic in her toxic relationship? Look at the confusion she has put you in. If she is casually sleeping with you, she is probably doing it with other guys too. If you enjoy it, by all means carry on, but always use protection and check for STIs.

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  6. #5
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    Yeah this sounds messy. I agree with above post. She's readily admitted she's cheated on people in the past so that's a massive red flag for me right there. Now if you were happy with just being FWB I'd say procced as you wish but use protection but clearly you want more so my advice would be do not go there. If it'd this confusing and energy sapping being FWB imagine what a relationship with her would be like.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok if you like her why choose the fwb option? It seems she friendzoned you because you wouldn't step up and start dating or make anything exclusive or bf/gf. Unless you want to be a sexless cuddle-buddy until she does find a real bf, speak up.
    Originally Posted by ajanderson32
    We hooked up, and agreed to be friends with benefits. I started to like her too, and I talked to her about it.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by MirrorKnight
    Don't get so attached to somebody so promiscuous that she is okay with a FWB arrangement and a known cheater. How do you know she is not the source of the toxic in her toxic relationship? Look at the confusion she has put you in. If she is casually sleeping with you, she is probably doing it with other guys too. If you enjoy it, by all means carry on, but always use protection and check for STIs.
    So you are telling the op that he is promiscuous? Because he entered a fwb situation?
    At least thatís what you are describing her to him but itís the same in reverse?

    How do you know he was not the toxic source in his toxic relationship?

    And who is confusing who? He says he is satisfied with how things are and not looking for a relationship.
    So whatís the problem??

    The OP is not being truthful , to who though? Her, us , himself?

  9. #8
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    You are doing all of this other stuff, why are you incapable of a committed relationship?

    The fact that she cheated on her ex, does not make her a good choice.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by MirrorKnight
    Don't get so attached to somebody so promiscuous that she is okay with a FWB arrangement and a known cheater. How do you know she is not the source of the toxic in her toxic relationship? Look at the confusion she has put you in. If she is casually sleeping with you, she is probably doing it with other guys too. If you enjoy it, by all means carry on, but always use protection and check for STIs.
    He is okay with a FWB, so why is it OK for him? That is a double-standard.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    The problem with these half baked relationships is, if she does not love you, she can leave you or find another guy at any moment and it will rip your heart out. It's a big gamble playing with somebody who's not that into you.

    The more they love you, the less problems you'll have.

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