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Thread: Confused on what to think with this pastor's daughter

  1. #1
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    Confused on what to think with this pastor's daughter

    I had a pretty huge falling out with this girl--she was the pastor's daughter. the thing is, I'm not really sure what to think. We had been friends for 5 years or so and never had any issues that I was aware of. Then one day randomly she ignored me and her brother approached me and said I was barely tolerable. I should mention there were more events after this but I'm having a very hard time piecing together everything that happened, but will discuss what I do know.
    So, for those who don't know, the phrase "barely tolerable" I knew to be a direct reference to one of her favorite books, Pride & Prejudice--in particular the scene where Elizabeth Bennett overhears him say it to Bingley, and then when Darcy mentions dancing as an act of affection, Bennett replies, "only if one's partner is barely tolerable."

    All I know is the girl ignored me and her brother said the words...she never gave me a reason and blocked me on Facebook. At first glance I assumed this meant she was annoyed by me...but without her telling me it was very hard to know for sure. Some time later I wondered if the father had a part in all this, perhaps not approving of us being close with each other (close only in the sense of friends), and decided to end it.
    Sometimes I wonder if she had a crush on me and I never realized it...there are plenty of occurrences that could have suggested this...but again...I will never know.
    Sometimes I wonder if her dad said no more and she said barely tolerable to get me to know the reference to Pride & Prejudice? This whole ordeal has confused me so much, and the only person who really knows the truth is her, and she has not spoken to me at all since the incident.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Di you hope to be more than friends? Is this the "very religious" girl? : [Register to see the link]

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    no, completely different sitch.

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    How old are you all?
    And are you being an appropriate friend (not psudodating but simply acting like classmates, etc)
    If you are very young, teenagers ca be fickle and don't underestimate the protectiveness of big brothers.

    honestly, if her father said no more, i would imagine that would make her sneak around to see you. A parent saying no sometimes as the opposite effect.

    I would not blame dad. She was the one who blocked you. I imagine that there was something you said or did that you have not figured out what it was, but was major to her. I would venture to approach the brother and said if his sister wants me to not talk to her anymore, you will respect her wishes, but that you would like to know what you did to cause that so you can learn. But maybe that's a bad idea. maybe honor her wishes and she may or may not come around

    Reading your last thread, i am wondering if she is friends with this other girl, feels betrayed because you are trying to get her friend in the sack, or word is getting aroud and her family is worried you want the same with her.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok just let it go. Are you still seeing this woman until you relocate for your job?: [Register to see the link]

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    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Maybe its time to start scouting for a partner outside of any religious house. You don't seem to be having any luck with religious women as it's twice now you've had some kind of drawback while in the pursuit of a relationship (friendship or romantic sitch)

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    This seems so comical to me. Leave her alone. She's stuck up and rude and she has her brother speaking for her. Whether she's religious or not or where she comes from, I'd just take a hint. This person wants nothing to do with you and don't associate with individuals who either can't speak for themselves or have others doing the dirty work for them.

    If you're barely tolerable, she's intolerable. And you don't need an outdated, stuffy 19th century text to decode that.

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    It has come to my attention that you are much older than a teenager.
    I have several friends who met their spouse at church. They got involved with different projects or ministries and was not looking to date anyone, but everything fell into place with another sunday school teacher or someone else that was on committees or outreach work with but it happened over the period of months our years where they gradually got closer. They weren't using church to ask random people out for coffee.

    A guy using a church to look for women to approach etc, or a guy who tries to date one woman and then another sort of comes off as someone trying to date around in the same friends group. Don't expect women not to know who else you are trying to court.


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