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Thread: Girlfriend Wants a Ring but

  1. #41
    Platinum Member
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    Originally Posted by Goodfellas
    Thank you all for your replies. To answer a common theme: finances are not a coverup for a larger issue. I am 100% certain were right for each other and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

    I told her last month I want to live with her first to see if the compatibility still exists and she agreed. So were looking for places to move in together but she still sends these not-so-subtle hints about wanting to be engaged by end of 2021 and a child by 2024. Every time she does I remind her Id like to be roommates first, then have the talk with her dad then Ill do it and she backs offtemporarily.

    Im all in with this girl but my middle class upbringing coupled with recent developments from my brother (42 with a wife and two kids) are spooking me. He recently borrowed $50k from my parents to cover his own mistakes, catch up on car payments and mortgage and honestly I never want to do that to my partner.
    You are 100% certain she is right for you?

    Well then why are you taking her for a test drive? Some guys are 100% into BMWs take it for a test drive , even take one home and suddenly realise they want a Mercedes!

    She needs someone committed to her. She might be VW beetle. Someone will love her as is and not need to test drive.

    Now whats your reason or excuse?
    Agree or dont.
    But dont insult her and move in with her under some pretence?

  2. #42
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Goodfellas
    wanting to be engaged by end of 2021
    You have a year to propose, apparently, so why put yourself in a pressure cooker now?

  3. #43
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    If you do not want to get married, that is totally fine, too, but don't move in with her, then. I think moving in right now would be a mistake either way. She will be thinking moving in as a step, and moving in to you is a wait and see - let's see how moving in together goes. its not the same. just my two cents. So tell her you would not like her to propose because you are not ready to get married. Be very clear about that.

  4. #44
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    If you do not want to get married, that is totally fine, too, but don't move in with her, then. I think moving in right now would be a mistake either way. She will be thinking moving in as a step, and moving in to you is a wait and see - let's see how moving in together goes. its not the same. just my two cents. So tell her you would not like her to propose because you are not ready to get married. Be very clear about that.
    Exactly, that.
    ....:

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