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Thread: How to not feel bad in front of BF's beautiful friend?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    How sad for you, that you just can't enjoy your time with a guy who has chosen you over and over for the last year, and enjoy time with a group of friends, without playing an alternate movie in your head full of stressful, upsetting illusions.

    If the relationship ends, it won't be because of anything accept that he can't enjoy the company of a woman whose face and body language exudes worry, jealousy, and unfound fears, instead of a woman who is having the time of her life with her bf and buddies.

    What is a person with a healthy self-esteems mindset? "I'm a treasure, and if a guy doesn't treat me like one, he's out of here." Your mindset is: Since the treasure wasn't available to him, he picked up a penny but dreams all day long of that treasure that's just out of reach.

    Start reading books and articles on how to boost your self esteem to learn the skills of positive self-talk. If that doesn't work, attend therapy sessions so that you can fully enjoy your one precious life on this planet. Do volunteer work for those in need and wake up to what real problems are, and you'll probably be embarrassed at how piddly your perceived problems are compared to the hefty struggles others are facing.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Just give it time. A lot of people won't admit to those insecurities but I think it's normal. You've only been one year together. This is barely a blink of an eye. Assert more control over your thoughts and your impulses. Don't blurt things out that are hurtful or cause you to cycle through periods of intense fear and self-loathing or jealousy. Put a cork in it (those anxious and jealous thoughts) and re-train your mind to be still and observe more. Your brain will slowly recondition itself. You won't have to lift a finger. Stay positive and believe in yourself and your relationship. This isn't the end of the world. If you enjoy his company, keep enjoying his company.

    Keep in mind, many relationships don't work out for whatever reasons over time. Don't use this as a scapegoat if you have other issues you don't like about your bf. I'm sensing that you may have different levels of comfort socially amongst your peers or view your friends differently. Maybe he has a larger circle of friends or more variety in his friendships. He may be more extroverted than you or bubbly. He may come from a different background and speaks other languages that you don't have access to. The longstanding friendships might be making you insecure also, not just the gender or the fact that she's a pretty female. Life is short. Really short. If it doesn't work out with him, let him go. Not worth it, chica. You do you.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Where does this insecurity with your own looks stem from, OP?
    Yeah I dont know why but I lately am really not happy with myself. I used to feel rather confident but now I just dont like what I see in the mirror..

  4. #24
    Bronze Member Leah33's Avatar
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    I have a few female friends that are drop dead gorgeous but I never felt inferior around them because we bonded as friends first rather than "competition" (back when I had a boyfriend). If I didn't trust those female friends I wouldn't be friends with them to begin with. Maybe try to get to know her first.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Only a therapist can help you with this. This is not about a friend group or bf.
    Originally Posted by ambereyes
    now I just dont like what I see in the mirror..

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