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Thread: Flirted (and more) with boss

  1. #11
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    What actually happened between you two, physically?

    Is he married?

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by dashed2019
    Blue - appreciate your thoughtful response. He's 14 years older and very successful, I'll leave it at that. I've known him since my 20's when I worked for him then, but I left the company to move away internationally for some time. Over the years, our paths have crossed more than once for different reasons, but it was just this last re-connection where we both realized that something might be there between us...it was kind of serendipitous really, and I hope the job is still mine if I want it. But I think you're right - face value it is, and play it straight.
    Please stop allowing another to fool you , you are already fooling yourself?
    You are about 50 yrs old and he is 60+?

    He is in a position of hiring and firing and you are in a position of needing a job.

    Serendipity is not the case here!! He dropped contact with you because he wasn’t interested. His offer of a job was only to temporarily get what he wanted.

    Serendipity is romantic!! This is anything but !

    Stop wasting your time and start applying for jobs !?

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Which would you like to see unfold? A romance or a professional connection? He does not seem to want more than whatever happened as far as romance. If he did it would be crystal clear, not..."oh he's busy, oh he hasn't called because...". Keep in mind you have never been on a date, no less is there any indication of a budding relationship.

    If you can work for him under those circumstances, great. However be prepared for neither anything but the flirtation nor any career advancement. He may have someone and/or is not interested in a relationship and he can hire anyone. Are you recently divorced or broken up with someone? What is the sudden interest after 25 years of knowing him?
    Originally Posted by dashed2019
    I'm going to be extremely careful as this unfolds.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Please stop allowing another to fool you , you are already fooling yourself?
    You are about 50 yrs old and he is 60+?

    He is in a position of hiring and firing and you are in a position of needing a job.
    Serendipity is not the case here!! He dropped contact with you because he wasn’t interested. His offer of a job was only to temporarily get what he wanted.
    Serendipity is romantic!! This is anything but !
    Stop wasting your time and start applying for jobs !?
    I am already employed in a different city. There is no wasting of time. My life is moving forward either way. And if what you say is indeed the case, so be it. My hope was that I hadn't ruined the chances of working with him again - and based on our last phone call, it felt to me like it was water under the bridge-no harm/no foul. He pursued me as much I as reciprocated. Then it trickled away after the deal fell through and I started working with another company. Natural progression of things. He's doing his life and I'm doing mine. Guess I'll see what happens when I move back next year.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Oh, we call that a pity date/relationship.

    Edit: I've had something happen like that before. I had a not too serious long distance relationship once. I found myself in the hospital one day, I almost died. My girlfriend was not calling me - but my lady friend, whose relationship was on the rocks, was!

  7. #16
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    What actually happened between you two, physically?

    Is he married?
    I asked and she answered: No he's not married. They kissed and made out a little, that's all she's admitted to.

    (see opening post and post #4 for her responses)

    Originally Posted by dashed2019
    Guess I'll see what happens when I move back next year.
    Sounds like your best bet. What else are you gonna do? If he's interested in either a romantic, platonic or professional relationship with you, he'll let you know.

  8. #17
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    The only other option I've considered is contacting him after the new year (if he hasn't contacted me first)...we've known each other long enough that I can speak honestly and say "look I'm starting 2020 off on the right foot...not proud of what happened...appreciate you bringing me on the project initially and look forward to the new opportunity...etc etc." I'm guessing the majority of you would think that's a bad idea. I just need some closure, and I don't know how to get that unless I say my peace once and for all. I have a great professional trajectory and this is new territory for me. If I don't contact him (and he doesn't me) then I must take him at face value and do nothing until next summer...but that still doesn't change the fact that I know I made some unwise decisions and I'd like him to hear that from me.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    .but that still doesn't change the fact that I know I made some unwise decisions and I'd like him to hear that from me.
    What? You don't think he made any "bad decisions?" It WAS mutual, right... you didn't force him to kiss you.

    What "closure" will you get from telling him you think you're a right arse? Whats it going to give you or him for that matter? Don't second guess your decisions. You acted on a pursuit that I'm assuming he initiated so own it and don't be ashamed of your decision.

    Not "being proud" of what happened is not only showing that you aren't sure of your decision but it also puts him down at the same time for his.

    and based on our last phone call, it felt to me like it was water under the bridge-no harm/no foul.
    Then let it go.

  10. #19
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    ThatwasThen: Valid points. I had not thought of some of it that way. He did start this with some overtures that indicated where this was heading and neither of us backed down. Thanks for that perspective, it's helpful.

  11. #20
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    Some things are better left unsaid. chi

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